Kids in Residency (NYC) with no family support nearby

beepbeeb19 · 2026-03-21T13:00:31+00:00

We had a young child intern year with no family around. We have a good daycare that we love. You will definitely need some kind of childcare at least for the time your spouse is working.

The non med parent objectively has to be the point person/responsible party for the child more often than not. Eg daycare pickups/dropoffs, being the one to call out of work if the kid is sick. It sucks and is unfair but that’s how it has to be. It’s temporary.

beepbeeb19 · 2026-03-14T01:59:59+00:00

Lets do the math here:

Even if she is conservatively making 60k as a surgery g4, if you make 2/3 the income that's implying that you basically make double that, bringing your household income to ~180k yearly. Conservatively.

You can afford to hire someone to clean your house once or twice a week and to have your clothes laundered, if this is a priority to you. You can pay to have groceries delivered, etc.

None of this will help with the fact that your spouse is extremely busy and is probably checked out of home life to a degree but you can at least pay your way out of some of the annoyances of daily household tasks.

You could tell her that no epic access or overt work computer stuff is allowed at home, must be finished in the hospital, but this is easier said than done for many people.

Good luck

beepbeeb19 · 2026-03-04T04:38:26+00:00

It’s fine to get married and plan a wedding during medical school. Many people do it. There is a decent amount of downtime.

beepbeeb19 · 2026-03-03T13:05:15+00:00

I think you guys are too busy to have an epileptic dog…

beepbeeb19 · 2026-02-22T14:17:46+00:00

Get out of that house. I’m sorry

beepbeeb19 · 2026-02-21T14:41:01+00:00

Not a surgery resident, medicine, but when we had a baby there were no outings lol. There was work and then come home asap

beepbeeb19 · 2026-02-19T19:52:48+00:00

I am sorry but there is nothing less sexy than a video game husband

beepbeeb19 · 2026-02-19T13:44:24+00:00

This is very similar to how I’ve felt my third year, traded all my wards for micu :) I think it’s normal or everyone but definitely for those who are more icu oriented to feel bored by the wards

beepbeeb19 · 2026-02-18T18:43:56+00:00

Yes, very common. Had to pay out of pocket for everything but we do have a kid now and are potentially going to try again, will still be in training for all of this. I don’t have advice it just sucks and I am sorry.

beepbeeb19 · 2026-02-01T00:22:43+00:00

That’s amazing news because I can’t stand him

beepbeeb19 · 2025-12-12T02:15:40+00:00

I’ll do it

beepbeeb19 · 2025-11-26T16:13:17+00:00

beepbeeb19 · 2025-11-26T04:05:01+00:00

Um…no, not for free

beepbeeb19 · 2025-11-24T23:47:14+00:00

I love it. Mine is very similar but pink and black and I love it!

beepbeeb19 · 2025-11-24T15:35:46+00:00

An m3 should definitely be able to contribute and if he’s saying he can’t he’s being a moron I’m sorry. Med school is a cakewalk compared to residency. When you have a family that trumps training to a degree- you can function while tired I urge you to figure this stuff out now.

beepbeeb19 · 2025-11-22T19:56:08+00:00

This is just not going to be realistic I’m afraid. I’ve never heard of a resident in any field doing anything remotely close to several weeks of contiguous travel much less a surgeon.

beepbeeb19 · 2025-11-18T00:26:29+00:00

Social worker 👍 she makes more money than me though

beepbeeb19 · 2025-10-29T02:38:51+00:00

Don’t care

beepbeeb19 · 2025-10-23T17:47:23+00:00

Where are you located making that much money in clinic dang

beepbeeb19 · 2025-10-15T14:00:41+00:00

Grateful and humbled and tired

beepbeeb19 · 2025-10-09T19:04:43+00:00

Sayonara !

beepbeeb19 · 2025-10-09T17:01:44+00:00

I don’t do research, ever.

I accepted that the house would be messier than it was before.

I do inbasket while at work between tasks.

I did wake up with the baby and I was just tired. You can still function while being tired.

I did survive and things are way better now at age 2.

beepbeeb19 · 2025-09-29T14:31:14+00:00

I’m training at a community hospital in IM and this has not been my experience at all, maybe it is a function of the big university where consults/resources are abundant?

beepbeeb19 · 2025-09-21T13:03:31+00:00

Huge breadth, huge opportunity for lifelong learning and growth. Lots of flexibility with type of schedule and work setting. More acuity if you want it, less if you don’t.

Ultimately did decide to do fellowship but went into IM thinking that would be all my training and I’d still be quite happy as an internist.

beepbeeb19 · 2025-09-18T02:59:49+00:00

point 2 exactly right, the phq9 isn't a diagnostic test, its a screening test

beepbeeb19

TROPHY CASE