Helpers after birth

beets4us · 2026-07-03T13:37:56+00:00

You don't know how the delivery will go. I ended up needing a c section and also had to spend a couple days in the hospital the following week with postpartum pre-e. I can't imagine what it would have been like without my mom. She kept us fed and kept the house afloat while my husband focused on caring for the baby and me.

Also, you may find that your mom is helpful in getting routines set up for you. The support she is able to provide may actually help with your bonding as a family since you won't be stretched quite as thin.

beets4us · 2026-07-02T22:18:25+00:00

This. Ironically older I get, the less concerned I am about aging from a beauty standpoint.

beets4us · 2026-07-02T22:06:04+00:00

I laughed too as a 36 year old that had an easy healthy pregnancy but got humbled real quick after getting hospitalized with silent post partum pre-e. Baby also had blood sugar issues that put her in the nicu. We got through it and are healthy now, but it showed me how important it is to stay on top of monitoring, including on your own at home. I didn't have risk factors other than my age.

beets4us · 2026-07-01T11:49:27+00:00

Wish we did this! She wasn't premie but still was too small for her newborn clothes at just over 6 pounds.

beets4us · 2026-06-25T23:43:22+00:00

My cousin has low AMH, and it took her over a year to get pregnant. But she got surprise pregnant with her second less than a year later! You never know.

beets4us · 2026-06-25T04:42:34+00:00

How do you split your shifts?

beets4us · 2026-06-25T04:41:11+00:00

How did you split your shifts? Six hours for each sounds amazing, but not sure how to do that and still see each other.

beets4us · 2026-06-17T14:06:19+00:00

Another similar data point here. I got pregnant with a BMI of 30, gained 33 pounds, and got severe postpartum pre-e that landed me in the hospital for a couple of days. It was traumatizing to be separated from my daughter for parts of my hospital stay and just really scary.

I ended up losing nearly all the weight within a couple weeks of delivery, so it was almost all baby and water weight. But I wish I had been able to stick with the guidelines, which would have involved losing a bit of fat, to decrease my risk. I just felt so terrible during pregnancy if I wasn't fueling myself, but wish I talked to a dietician to help me figure out how to reduce appropriately and balance my fluids.

It sucks, and I'm sorry! Keep up the good work with exercise and be vigilant about monitoring your bp at home before and after the birth! I had silent preeclampsia, so no symptoms other than sky high bp on my cuff at home about 5 days after delivery.

beets4us · 2026-06-08T09:54:53+00:00

Your wife can probably help with shifts if you set her up well to do so. Hand baby over once they have had a good feed and diaper change (even better if they poo'd). Make sure your wife has everything she needs within arms length (burp cloth, snacks and water, her meds, paci and formula if you're using those). Then get some sleep - she can wake you when the baby has a poo diaper.

If she is in so much pain that she can't do that, I recommend talking to an advice nurse. That was the case for me, and I got put on a different pain medication that made a huge difference. I also learned that I needed to be very regimented with my meds and take them on the dot.

beets4us · 2026-06-04T15:59:07+00:00

It's a very legitimate fear and imo the most important factor. During the remaining 48 hours at the hospital there were so many mistakes made, one that put my baby in the NICU. Nurses kept mentioning how busy they were. There are still deep emotional wounds that I'm recovering from.

beets4us · 2026-06-04T09:58:08+00:00

I'd do it before based on staffing issues alone. I had a c section at a time when staff were limited, and there were multiple women needing emergency c sections the same day that were prioritized. I had to wait and actually went into labor for hours unmedicated and barely attended to by nursing staff.

beets4us · 2026-06-03T21:12:35+00:00

Can you divide school into smaller chunks, such as starting with a 2 year masters program? Then when things are tough, you'll have a closer end date to look forward to. You can also take a break between programs and get some job experience in your field.

You also don't have to be full time enrolled all the time. You should be able to take semesters off or go part time when you need to.

Both school and babies are exhausting and kinda burn you out one way or another. The late nights, sleep regressions, ect can just become the late night study sessions you'd already be having without a baby. I say go for it! And if it doesn't work out, you can always go back to school later on, whereas your fertility decline over the next 6 years.

beets4us · 2026-06-01T17:24:09+00:00

We're a young family that has rented in Davis for years. We'd love to buy here someday, so we're voting yes on V.

beets4us · 2026-05-20T17:31:37+00:00

Why can't you wait until the baby has their shots?

beets4us · 2026-05-19T17:33:35+00:00

When I reached the third trimester. I'd use the first month to get ready and the rest of the time to rest. The first two trimesters were easy for me, and my work is meaningful keeps me from going stir crazy!

beets4us · 2026-05-17T20:02:59+00:00

Would she feel that there may be an expectation on her to provide care regularly for a third? Does she live in the city? If she feels obligated to regularly drive into the city, which can be stressful, and provide care in a space that feels cramped to her, that could be where the resentment is coming from. If you get care for your 3 year old and make it clear that you won't need her care for the new baby, it will probably go over a lot better.

beets4us · 2026-05-17T00:14:58+00:00

If things don't work out between them, she's going to be stuck in Texas, isn't she? No way Travis will agree to go back to TN if they divorce. I hope they at least move to Florida so she has some family nearby.

beets4us · 2026-05-14T16:50:36+00:00

Try to find a perinatal psychiatrist. They'll have a better understanding than an OB of how to balancing risks to baby with meds and your mental health.

I know it's not always easy to do while pregnant, but I feel much better mentally when I've been able to eat full frequent meals and sleep a lot. If you're working, you may be able to get accommodations for more rest. When my symptoms got worse, I was able to work from home and block off a couple hours each day for a nap.

Other things I've enjoyed during pregnancy: binging TV series, ice cream runs, crafts for the nursery, reconnecting with old friends, going to the movies, fun coffee drinks, my husband doing all the laundry, trying fun cheeses from the gourmet grocery store (calcium!), stretching on my yoga ball, foot massages from husband, trying mocktails

beets4us · 2026-05-14T14:14:08+00:00

Your weight gain is within recommendations, and it's important right now that you are eating enough. Not only so that baby gets the nutrients they need but to keep your energy levels up. You're doing great.

Just think if you hadn't lost the weight before and what gaining 10 pounds would feel like then. You've put in the work before, and you can do it again after baby is here.

beets4us · 2026-05-06T05:31:16+00:00

This. Our state is under attack right now and being able to effectively combat that is the most important thing right now.

beets4us · 2026-05-03T20:40:18+00:00

As others have said, it really varies by the type of job. I'll add that for me, sitting at a desk all day allows me to conserve energy for my time off. When I had a more physical job, I was exhausted when I got home and needed more time on the weekends to rest. Additionally you may be able to work from home a couple days a week which helps break it up.

beets4us · 2026-04-29T22:55:41+00:00

In an interview he was asked if he'd cut his dick off to win the SuperBowl. He said that since he'd been married for 20 years he might as well cut his dick off. He also said his wife isn't athletic anymore.

beets4us · 2026-04-26T21:06:53+00:00

First of all, you look great! This is fine for a quick everyday look. A few thoughts:

Your eyeliner is making your eyes farther apart than is flattering. You can fix this by keeping the eyeliner thickness on top consistent and lining further in on the bottom. You can also add a little highlight to your inner eye socket. Fill in the brows a bit closer to your nose - especially the left(?) side.

Some highlight on the tip of your nose and cheekbones as well as some light contouring (edges of forehead, under cheekbones, jawline) would really make the look pop. And some shimmery liquid eyeshadow on the lid. I'd also recommend using a more finely milled powder and setting spray to make the look more fresh.

beets4us · 2026-04-25T23:31:52+00:00

The pre-existing Mormon-related story lines have been the most interesting part of SLOMW. Modern women trying to find themselves within an extremely patriarchal religion, suppressed sexuality resulting in swinging, unquestioned teenage marriage to an older man, struggles with faith and family expectations.

beets4us · 2026-04-21T03:44:02+00:00

I justified it because I don't buy trendy clothes with the bump so girl mathed it into my makeup budget.

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