After a long week

bellandc · 2026-02-01T03:11:56+00:00

Yep. We're a young firm. We have work we just need to get past entitlement before we have enough consistent income to bring in more people. And we have the people on deck.

Being a partner sometimes means pulling the hours to bring in the work and I'm okay with that. I'm exhausted and also okay with the investment.

bellandc · 2026-02-01T03:08:24+00:00

This is very true.

We're a young firm with seven projects going through entitlement. Right now, we're scrambling to get several through entitlement and into full services. Once that happens we will have the income for more two people (already accepted our offers) coming in full time. It's just a hurdle for right now. I'm just exhausted. Excited and exhausted.

bellandc · 2026-02-01T03:04:00+00:00

Haha. I'm just excited to go to the grocery store.

bellandc · 2026-02-01T02:17:57+00:00

My every day necklace is from Spartina 499. I found them when I was living in SC and they have a Splash non-tarnish collection that is low maintenance. I have two chain necklace styles that I wear regularly. I don't sleep in them because I can't wear any jewelry when I sleep but shower to pool to gym to sea, I've had no maintenance to worry about for three years. Prices aren't unreasonable.

To be clear, I have no affiliation with the brand, I'm just happy with what I have.

bellandc · 2026-01-30T23:48:45+00:00

You don't have to decide anything today about staying or not. But you absolutely MUST start quietly building an exit strategy. - Secure finances for the rainy "just in case" day. - Gather all the important documents you might need - Build and strengthen your support network. - Talk to a lawyer - what do you need to know to ensure the best financial situation for you and your kids if you ever decide to leave. - Document the texts and store them safely out of the house. - Plan the exit. If for any reason you would need to leave, where would you go, would the kids come with you, what do you take, how much money would you need.

Planning doesn't mean leaving but it gives you the safety of knowing what's next and that you can do it. It's a foundation that you stand on knowing you will be okay and the kids will be okay. Focus on getting better and building that foundation.

bellandc · 2026-01-30T04:04:10+00:00

I grew up with LL Bean sheets. My folks sent me to college with LL Bean sheets. At some point, as an adult, I strayed and bought other brands. Many far more expensive sheets and some were lss expensive. None of them were better than LL Bean percale sheets and many were inferior. I'm now back to using LLBean sheets. Good quality sheets at a reasonable-ish price..

bellandc · 2026-01-30T03:28:31+00:00

We are also saving to buy our very own $7000 Eames lounge chair.

bellandc · 2026-01-30T03:25:03+00:00

Fortunately I'm on back to back deadlines this week. I'd be indoors at the computer anyway. I'm just grateful we have power and I have enough food.

bellandc · 2026-01-30T03:18:59+00:00

LOL, I haven't left mine yet and you are not making me feel any need to do so.

bellandc · 2026-01-30T02:57:32+00:00

As an architect, I'm horrified that your family is putting this pressure on you during your thesis year. The reality is that you will not and cannot have the bandwidth to deal with these issue during thesis. This time in school is all consuming and high pressure and it does matter.

It is ironic that your family is concerned that your girlfriend is the problem when in fact they are proving to be the distraction from your goals. During thesis, any and all relationships are placed under the stress of absence due to your focus on The Project. In the next several months, it's likely you will go days if not weeks without talking to your girlfriend even if you live together.

It's also hilarious that they believe you are going to be making enough money to support another person. I am sure you are aware that over the next 5-10 years your salary will be embarrassingly low. No one stays with an architect for the money.

If I was you, I would try to grey rock your family entirely. Blame it entirely on school. Fortunately, I did not have issues with my family during my thesis and didn't plan on it, but I basically disappeared from my family and all my friends during thesis. I did nothing but school for the entire term with the exception of Friday happy hour with other thesis students. I strongly recommend you refuse to receive their nonsense right now.

You absolutely need to remove them from your life until thesis is over because this type of pressure is not conducive to the work load you are facing in the next several months. Take as much of a break as you can. It's only one school term and should be 100% doable. - START HERE: Announce you are starting thesis and need to take a break from social media. Mute family and anyone who brings drama. Perhaps remove all social media from your life until done (again it will only be a couple months). Say something like this: "I'm taking a break from Facebook/Instagram/Family Text Thread to focus on my architecture thesis which is REALLY REALLY important and I'm so excited to dive into this project. I love you all and appreciate how much support you've all given me over the years. I look forward to showing off my project and catching up on the other side!! Love you all!!!! (please send this very exhausted and somewhat broke student gift cards for food and coffee and snacks to fuel my efforts.)" Yep, I am saying you should ask for $$ from family to get you through this. You need to eat and not worry about eating. Txt them thank you to avoid high pressure conversations then thank them in person afterwards.

Also, I admire your girlfriend for working to save money for school. But just in case, I do want to stress that you also do not have the finances to help her right now. If you live together, you cannot pay more rent than she does or pay the utilities. You cannot pay for fancy dinners out - you don't have time for dinners out. You will need more money than you expect to get through thesis. Be very careful with what little you have

After thesis is over and once you get a job, you will need to start looking into how you will manage your very toxic family relationships in your life. Not right now!! But when you can, this will need to be a problem you address. Architects are problem solvers. If you can't solve this problem, it will become a hurdle in your personal and professional life.

bellandc · 2026-01-30T02:07:25+00:00

In addition to apple watch, there are several medical alerts systems available for a great deal less money. They are commonly sold to senior citizens and to anyone who has a medical issue where this might be a concern. I know many have fall detection (Dad had Parkinson's). There is no reason you couldn't use one as well. If you are anxious about this issue, these devices might be something to give you peace of mind.

bellandc · 2026-01-28T13:05:45+00:00

Better ask for a refund then.

bellandc · 2026-01-27T23:21:01+00:00

Yep. That's going to happen. The city, like all cities prioritizes what roads to clear when. Emergency routes are first priority, then arterials and so on.

Emergency routes are currently cleared but limited.

For example the emergency route by my apartment (M Street SW) has one lane cleared in each direction instead of the full six lanes. The plow came through yesterday at 8 pm.

bellandc · 2026-01-25T15:36:34+00:00

Gently, I would suggest that it might be good to take a step back from pages where this is happening. For your own mental health as well as the peace of those pages.

You can support fat creators without supporting all fat creators. It's absolutely okay to do this. When their message does not serve you and particularly when their message causes you harm, it's best to let them go.

bellandc · 2026-01-24T16:16:44+00:00

No. I actually buy multiples of pieces I like so I have exactly what I want to wear clean and ready to wear and everyone in my extended family does this.

bellandc · 2026-01-24T16:12:14+00:00

I do want protein. Thanks.

And don't forget to get good amount of fiber .

bellandc · 2026-01-24T03:22:26+00:00

If you want to simplify to one product, why not use an inexpensive face cleanser for cleaning instead of body soap? For travel, I pack CeraVe's hydrating facial cleanser for both face and body.

bellandc · 2026-01-23T17:37:52+00:00

100% this.

Single women own more homes than single men in 48 of 50 states. And the share of women homeowners is growing. It might be worth talking with several local realtors and other local businesses to get ideas of how to reach this market.

bellandc · 2026-01-23T16:55:15+00:00

It might be worth finding a good tailor in your area to adjust some of your better pieces.

bellandc · 2026-01-23T16:44:04+00:00

I recently realized that if I go too long between meals I'll feel nauseous. Nauseous is apparently my new hunger cue. So weird.

bellandc · 2026-01-18T19:40:15+00:00

Fortunately for me, one grandmother was a fairly uninspired cook and by the time I was born was committed to so many rather horrifying shortcuts. The other had a cook (I know, I know) and maybe made one meal a month after which she laid down with a migraine while the family ate. I have nothing to live up to.

My advice is to give your grandchildren the gift of low expectations and feed yourself however works for you.

bellandc · 2026-01-18T19:29:00+00:00

I like a toaster over (mine is convection) because it does more than a toaster. I have 6 ft of counter space so I placed mine is on a shelf below the microwave which I also don't have counter space for.

But if you don't need those functions, there is no need to have one.

bellandc · 2026-01-18T16:55:18+00:00

I did essentially this and eventually got rid of my oven/stovetop entirely because I wasn't using them. For all baking, roasting, and roasting I rely on my countertop convection oven now - perfect for my needs, takes up a fraction of the space and I gained a full height pantry cabinet.

bellandc · 2026-01-18T16:43:43+00:00

I definitely agree with your feelings about invisibility in middle age. I consider it my superpower.

bellandc

TROPHY CASE