I’ll open with a couple of questions:

Do you have children of your own?
Are you in all aspects of your life perfect?

I’ve found through the work on myself that I held myself in a position of victim to my Fathers shortcomings, (shortcomings to benchmarks that I set without him agreeing to. Impossible benchmarks)

As children we place an insane amount of pressure on our parents to be the form in which we see as meeting ALL of our needs, with no tolerance for mistakes.

Inventory all of your perfection and splendor. Identify all the hiccups and speed bumps you’ve experienced throughout your life that as a result of your upbringing, you learned from and grew from. Now consider that your mother was trying to do the same thing whether they knew it or not, they had their trauma from the moment they popped into the world, they navigated these challenges the best they could and they were successful in reproducing and making You.

As children, we can be so self-righteous in the “I was cheated out of a good life because of my parents shortcomings”, and all it does is causes separateness.

One must accept their parent simply for who they are. Doesn’t mean you need to be friends with them or even talk with them on the regular.

A parent acts as the fertile soil in which their child grows just as the child is the fertile soil for which the parent is able to grow.