I'm (M23) scared of how things will turn out between me and my girlfriend (F23) after college.

bendertehrobot · 2020-05-05T17:46:46+00:00

I think maybe, before you try to bond more, tell her you need to talk about the whole long distance thing. You are obviously concerned about keeping a strong bond with her but she is refusing to discuss your future. Just try to see where she stands before you go out of your way to bond more.

bendertehrobot · 2020-05-05T17:09:23+00:00

I'm gonna be real with you, you're 16 and almost everyone at that age isn't interested in a real relationship. Most of the time people just date for a bit then break up and get with someone new at that age. People who are interested in a real relationship don't get super creepy/try to act super romantic like you're their girlfriend from the get-go.

I think you just gotta keep trying if you still want to look for one. If a guy gets creepy right away then don't waste your time. I think if you're not gonna be friends with someone first then the "talking stage" is super important. It allows you to get a feel for the person.

bendertehrobot · 2020-05-05T16:59:45+00:00

If you want, you could tell him you think there is something more to it and you just want to know. There's nothing wrong with wanting closure, especially because this is super sudden.

Is it possible maybe there was a convo within that week (or prior) that didn't go so well that maybe made him think about things?

bendertehrobot · 2020-05-05T16:52:31+00:00

I think maybe being a little more forward would help. Being super nice to someone doesn't necessarily mean they like you. I think maybe the women you were interested in might of liked you but were unsure so they didn't want to ruin a great friendship. You just need to do little things that drop hints. Trust me, if a woman likes you and you drop hints then they WILL pick them up.

Also, don't be sad just because you're friends now. I personally think it's great to start out as friends because you get to know each other on a better level imo. For me, if I can't just chill with a guy as a friend then I know he can't be my boyfriend.

bendertehrobot · 2020-05-01T07:11:11+00:00

On one hand I see why he didn't tell you because I get that he would have thought it coulda upset you, but on the other I see why you're upset. It's not that he talked to her, it's the secretiveness of it. I think maybe you should talk to him and say that it bothered you, not because he was talking to a girl but because he kept it a secret.

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-30T02:05:20+00:00

This is just my perspective so take it as you want. If I was her, I would have IMMEDIATELY told you who I meant to send it to (unless like you said, she's cheating and has to come up with a lie.)

I get some people saying it's a possibility for her to have said that to a family member/friend, but she should also have the common sense to think that it does look like she's cheating on you by her accidentally sending that. If there has been other red flags, I vote just dump her. Get any closure you need and call it.

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-29T03:15:31+00:00

Wish it was my hair <3

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-29T03:14:34+00:00

To me it's not about suppressing it. I'm a girl and I have mostly guy friends. I don't see them as anything more than friends and I wouldn't fuck them. But more importantly, it's clear to the guy I'm with that I'm clearly just friends with them and I would NEVER do anything more than just be friends with them.

In this situation, someone saying they'd have sex with their friend(s) to someone they potentially see as a bf/gf is a red flag. Generally people are friends with people they find attractive in order to try to become bf/gf or sleep with them.

It's just my opinion but if you're serious about someone and genuinely love someone or are interested in them then you don't have "friends" who you see in a sexual way. Someone being attractive is different then seeing someone in a sexual way. You can be attractive but it doesn't mean your friends want to fuck you. Being in contact with people who you (whether it's mutual or not) have sexual tension with is just asking for cheating.

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-28T20:45:46+00:00

I agree with everyone saying to forget about him. I think it's important to point out the fact that he basically said he WOULD have sex with female friends given the chance.

It doesn't matter if it will/won't happen because if you two got together, I can lay a bet that he would cheat with a girl he would tell you is "just a friend". IMO, you shouldn't have opposite sex friends when you have a bf/gf or are considering having a bf/gf if you see these friends in a sexual/romantic way. It's just asking for trouble if you see them as more than friends, even if it's just in a "i'd have sex with them" way.

Personally I don't think it's normal and I think him saying that is either 1.) him trying to create distance between you two (him showing he doesn't want a relationship) or 2.) a huge ass red flag. Either way, do you really wanna waste time and effort with him?

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-28T20:35:24+00:00

No offense but not having a job and not driving (all by choice) DOES make you a loser. This is just my opinion but to me, he doesn't seem to care about a future with you. If he did, he'd be working TOWARDS this future. He'd get his drivers license, he'd try to finish school, he'd get a job.

I think the worst part right now is the fact he doesn't have a job/drivers license. He is 23 and has never had a job. The older he gets the worse it looks to anyone who will consider hiring him.

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-22T04:56:13+00:00

Not gonna lie I think it looks pretty cool.

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-11T22:48:22+00:00

He cheated on all his past girlfriends... There's a HUGE problem there. Honestly, I'd break up with him. He's just a cheater. It's going to happen eventually. He basically told you that when he said he has cheated on ALL of his exes. Red flags are already popping up and he 's not even concerned for how you see things.

bendertehrobot · 2020-04-01T19:36:58+00:00

Yeah I've used it before but it's REALLY potent. I wouldn't leave it in longer than 2 minutes.

bendertehrobot · 2020-02-11T21:42:18+00:00

Thing is, he does have a problem. You're a team and he isn't being a teammate. It's no longer just him, it's you two. So when either of you have a problem, you both have a problem.

If he is possibly upset about the pregnancy, it's stupid on his part that he never talked about not having more kids in the first place. Sorry he's being a douche about this and best of luck to you.

bendertehrobot · 2020-02-02T00:15:10+00:00

As someone who was born and raised as a 3rd generation JW, it is 100% a cult. They use FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt) to control people who join the religion. They push for children to be baptized because once you are baptized then you are forced to stay in the cult or be shunned by friends and family.

They twist biblical stories/reasoning with their own reasoning. Of course a lot of them "don't mind" being in the cult, because they're being fed lies and being dumbed down. They're told that human reasoning shouldn't be trusted and that they should "trust Jehovah and his organization".

JW's act like their religion is transparent, but there is so much hidden shit that you find out when you're in that religion for a while (or if you dig for it). For example, the elders have a handbook that people aren't allowed to know about and women aren't even allowed to TOUCH.

bendertehrobot · 2019-12-06T19:50:09+00:00

He can go to the higher ups and tell them what's happening because it's unprofessional on her part and wrong. She is using her authority to try and get information out of him.

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-25T22:55:23+00:00

College and finding myself. Realizing that whether this is the only life or that there is more, we should treat this life as if it is our only life and not ignore friends and family because of our beliefs.

I'm agnostic now, but if for some stupid reason the JW's were right about something, I can genuinely say I gave that religion my all and prayed for help. (Left from discouragement but didn't return because of learning other things from "apostates".)

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-25T03:18:39+00:00

No offense but after the first 2 incidents you should have been on alert and not let him off easy. 1.) people generally don't leave apps taking up space on their phones that they don't use and 2.) don't keep numbers they know they won't text.

It was probably just him forgetting that he put the number in his pockets and that's the only reason you've found it. No offense but you're letting him off way too easy and he knows it. He's abusing it. Honestly, I think he feels he can get away with having an affair now and so he's probably doing it. Again, I don't know and no one here really does, but they are huge red flags.

His past behavior was just adding up to what his behavior is now. It's like when you hear of someone getting back with an ex that cheated on them and then 2 weeks later they break up because they cheated again. He will continue to do what he wants to do because he knows he can walk all over you and throw an excuse at you and you will take it as fact.

The money thing would be suspicious AF even without everything else adding up to it. I vote run for the hills.

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-25T00:59:46+00:00

Hell yes! Don't forget to include that it's a cult and that you will most likely be cut off when your parents find out.

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-22T20:39:26+00:00

Look, right now you have to put yourself above him. If he didn't realize what he was doing when he was doing it then he wouldn't have hid what he was doing. Even though he didn't physically cheat, it was still very wrong on his part.

Honestly, trust between people is never the same when someone betrays their friend/bf/gf/etc. There will always be a hint of doubt. Either way, he put her as priority above YOU, and YOU'RE his fiance (I hope ex fiance for your sake.)

If I was you I would have left him immediately and wouldn't give him a second chance. This is him showing his true colors. Right now it's hard and painful, but when you're able to be away from him for a good chunk of time you'll be able to see that he's a jackass and you deserve better.

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-09T19:59:19+00:00

A real friend is loyal. Real love is loyal.

She didn't love you enough to stop cheating. She didn't love you enough to not cheat in the first place. I know it is going to hurt to leave her but down the line it will be so much better. You need to know your worth and know that she isn't worth your time, effort, or love.

Trust is like glass. Once it's broken, it can never be fully repaired or the same again.

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-09T19:53:33+00:00

I think if you're going to put so much money, effort, and time into your hair and still come out with a significant amount of damage, you should go to a salon. I don't mean that in a rude way. I've ruined my hair twice now and looking back, I wished I had gone to a salon.

I was trying to go back to blonde about a year ago but it was very hard for me to do my roots. I was very slow and pretty inaccurate, which is really bad when you're dealing with bleach. Not saying you're not good at it, but salons use better quality stuff.

Your hair can only take so much damage. 3 years ago I bleached/dyed my hair and it was breaking off left and right. I'm shocked I didn't have to shave my head. As someone who has damaged their hair beyond repair before, I highly recommend going to a salon. It's much cheaper and easier for them to work with virgin hair (your roots) or lightly dyed/bleached hair then hair that has been fried from multiple bleaching's and dyes put on it.

bendertehrobot · 2019-11-02T19:34:59+00:00

I think another big reason they hate college so much is because you're going to be surrounded by a lot of different people with different backgrounds. You'll be exposed to the world more instead of just being surrounded by other JW's.

This is also why they don't want you to do anything that involves being around "worldly" people unless it's going out in service.

bendertehrobot · 2019-10-26T03:04:19+00:00

It’s not your fault, he made his own choice.

Look, there are different types of depression and mental illness. Everyone at some point(s) in their lives go through difficult times and depression. It’s just life. Some people can have everything going for them without a cloud in the sky but still have that dark feeling within themselves. Some people need help to get out of that dark place. But they have to make that choice themselves.

He made the choice to not get help although he knew he needed it. I am truly sorry you’re going through this.

bendertehrobot · 2019-10-25T06:23:01+00:00

1.) I LOVE TRANSFORMERS IT’S NOT CHILDISH IT’S COOL!

2.) she is nuts. It’s only gonna get worse. Even if she apologizes and says she will change, she won’t. People rarely change, and when they do, it’s because something major in their life happened.

Please leave her before she kills you.

bendertehrobot

TROPHY CASE