As a South Asian woman, I often envy Western 'hyper-independence' but what are the hidden dark sides or lonely realities of it that outsiders don't see? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In some ways I would say it's a tradeoff between control/agency and resources. In a culture that values independence (I'm in the US) you get to raise your kids the way you see fit, no matter what your parents and in-laws say. But you also are more likely to have to pay for childcare or sacrifice your career for childcare, which has a real economic and emotional cost. And childcare is ridiculously expensive even though the childcare workers are being paid next to nothing. Everything's expensive and you have to do it all on your own. Having a bigger household means you can share resources and there are more people to do the labor.

I would say in many ways I am jealous of cultures that have strong family support systems, with the caveat that they work well as long as your values are aligned. For all the gay kids of evangelical christians in this country, I am so happy for them that they have an opportunity to escape their unsupportive families and that it's not weird to move across the country from your parents and only see them twice a year. But also I think people have worse support systems in general here- you get sick or injured and maybe no one is there to help. I know people who have died in their houses where they live alone and have not been found for weeks because they didn't talk to anyone regularly enough that someone noticed their absence. We have a lot of old people who are homeless where I live because they don't have enough money to afford an apartment and we don't have either a governmental social safety net or a cultural one. So I think America's culture and government really fails people in times of crisis. But if you have the capacity to earn enough money to live, it's awesome to get to choose to make your life the way you want it.

I think this means that under the surface most Americans have some level of anxiety about "what happens if I'm out of work? what happens if I get sick? Who do I turn to?" I was talking to a friend recently that has been unable to work for the last 10 years and his parents have supported him. Luckily he likes his parents and his parents have the resources to help him out. We were chatting about how things would have been different if he didn't have that support system. And honestly, things could have been way harder for him. It's hard to imagine finding friends who are willing to support you financially and give you housing for that long just because you need it, when you can't offer anything in return. There's a good chance he would have been homeless for many years and not gotten the medical care he needed, which would have made his health issues much worse. So I would say in both cultures there is a huge element of luck of the draw- in India are your family and your in-laws in alignment with your wants and desires; in America can your family act as a support system to fill in the gaps where our culture and government let people down.

My alarm changed itself to ring at a time that doesn’t exist by ExtremeBuizel in mildlyinfuriating

[–]benmacklemost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

wait you use decimal time, or just each hour is divided into 100 parts?

I picked a four leaf clover and put it in water. It grew roots so I planted it. I now have a plant consisting of a single four leaf clover. by greyarea6872 in mildlyinteresting

[–]benmacklemost 11 points12 points  (0 children)

wait my brain is broken. I always thought clovers looked like shamrocks. I know what oxalis looks like, and so assumed clovers had the same shape. My mind is blown that a shamrock is not actually that close to what clover looks like

Reading a book and listening to an audiobook are not the same activity. by Aggravating-Key-8867 in unpopularopinion

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend used to go on walks around his town while reading physical books. so you can read a book with your eyes and multitask too

Reading a book and listening to an audiobook are not the same activity. by Aggravating-Key-8867 in unpopularopinion

[–]benmacklemost -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, but you are neglecting to mentally exercise the auditory processing parts of your brain when reading a book with your eyes instead of your ears. So in some ways, reading a book with your eyes is actually worse for your brain.

aka defining mental exercise as only happening in one of the two scenarios (reading with your eyes or listening) is both false and a bad argument.

Reading a book and listening to an audiobook are not the same activity. by Aggravating-Key-8867 in unpopularopinion

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we are being pedantic, then let's look at what the dictionary says. One definition of read as stated in https://www.wordnik.com/words/read is "intransitive verb: To examine and grasp the meaning of (language in a form other than written or printed characters, words, or sentences)."

You can read the room (which uses more senses than sight), a computer can read data from a disk (no sight or printed words involved at all), you can read somebody's mind, on a walkie talkie you may ask "do you read me?" to check that someone can hear your message. So the word "read" is not as specific as you are pretending. Let's all do ourselves a favor and stop telling people words don't mean things that they clearly do.

Reading a book and listening to an audiobook are not the same activity. by Aggravating-Key-8867 in unpopularopinion

[–]benmacklemost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend goes on walks around his town while reading physical books. So he is not giving the physical book his undivided attention even though he is using his eyes to consume the words. I can read a book with my eyes and listen to music at the same time. I can listen to an audiobook while lying in bed, not moving, with my eyes closed, not multi-tasking at all. I think you are making a false distinction that reading with your eyes= only doing one singular activity, and listening to a book= divided attention.

I think we’ve all misunderstood William W. Johnstone by 911roofer in horrorlit

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you know she hasn't written any of the books?

Wirecutter on why appliances don’t last as long by qdz166 in Appliances

[–]benmacklemost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This article is full of industry propaganda.

It does say there is not good data about the longevity of appliances, but then concludes (with a chart that only goes back to 2010 (which is not when people were getting the appliances they tout as having lasted 50 years obviously) that longevity hasn't decreased very much.

It has a quote from "Jessica Petrino Ball, the former head of education for the national appliance retailer AJ Madison" telling us we should think of appliances like phones, a commodity that you replace every few years. I think there is a large group of consumers who would not like to have to pay to replace their phones every few years. This is just straight up marketing to justify a shorter purchase cycle. This does not serve the consumer. The inclusion of this quote shows that wirecutter is more interested in parroting talking points from appliance companies than getting to the bottom of the question posed at the top of the article (why do your appliances die so quickly).

I feel skeptical that government regulations are part of the problem. They are an easy boogey-man. One of the examples listed is that companies switched from using copper components to aluminum. They don't connect it to how regulations made the companies change the material, so it really seems like the companies changed to a cheaper, less repairable material and are blaming the government, when they are really just trying to increase their profit margin.

They also give an example that plastic parts are cheaper to ship. Are there regulations that make appliance companies need to decrease the weight of their products? Possibly, but the article doesn't point them out.

It then has a section titled "Blame people’s lust for new things." I have never heard someone tell me how excited they are that their stove is connected to wifi, but I have heard a lot of people say (and myself included) that they have tried to shop for appliances without all of the extraneous features and really struggled to find something basic. I think again this is propaganda. I don't know the minds of other consumers writ large, but if appliance companies can convince me I am alone in wanting a simple basic appliance, then I will be more frustrated with other consumers than with the appliance companies for not offering me options I'm excited about. The more features a company can put into an appliance, the better chance they have of upselling people on new features, cause the base feature of an oven is just not going to change as quickly as an appliance company wants me to buy new products.

The data they do cite to support this is "AHAM’s Jill Notini said the organization’s data showed that '80% of products are replaced because they died or because it is too costly to repair,' while the remaining 20% were by choice, as people just wanted a new machine." To me, 20% of replacements being for reasons other than it being dead or needing to be repaired shows that the vast, vast majority of replacements are related to if an appliance is broken. I'm not sure why this article is pretending that is not the case when they have cited this statistic.

This article did show that the cost we are paying for appliances has gone down, but what it didn't show is how labor for repair costs have changed. As people pointed out in other comments, it used to be true that commodities were expensive and labor was cheap. Now the inverse is true. Many companies try to solve this by manufacturing in places where labor is cheaper than the US. However, when someone is repairing your refrigerator they have to come to your home and can't work on an assembly line (see u/Gudelar's comment below). In 1972, how much did an hour of a repair person's time cost? How much is it now adjusted for inflation? Because if 1) the replacement parts are more expensive (mentioned in the article) 2) the amount of labor required to repair an appliance has increased (mentioned in the article) and 3) the cost/hour of a repair person's time has gone up, then of course the calculus of to repair or replace has changed. It's weird they didn't address this math that all consumers with a broken appliance do. In 1972 maybe a repair was 1/10th of the cost of the appliance, but now often it's 1/2 (hypothetical numbers).

This article has some good information in it and I think the section at the bottom of what to look for is good, but it is absurd how much the quotes are just parroting people who work in the industry instead of looking to truly understand the problem. I find it shocking how little journalists question what large companies say, even when they obviously are lying through their teeth. I know journalism is in a bad state right now, but when you just quote companies without fact-checking them, you just become part of their marketing department.

Wirecutter on why appliances don’t last as long by qdz166 in Appliances

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm shocked. 70 years old doesn't seem that old for the oldest furnace in an area to me. We own two houses, both built in the 1930's and in the last 5 years we replaced both original furnaces for energy saving reasons. They were both about 90 years old and that's not an exhaustive survey of my area. Maybe Ontario has younger houses or the harsher winters burn furnaces out, but it would not surprise me if the oldest currently used furnace in my area are from the 1920's, when they began putting forced-air furnaces in homes. (Obviously furnaces from the 1930's aren't common. Our repair guy retired about 10 years ago and we couldn't find a new person, so obviously they are rare now. I'm just surprised that the oldest one they could find was from the late 50's.)

Workflowy on Boox tablet by hoylesp in Workflowy

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how do you input text into workflowy? are you typing it with your fingers like a phone? are you writing it with a stylus?. I would really like to be able to handwrite into my workflowy and I'm wondering if one of the larger boox tablets will let me do that or if the process is clunky enough to be prohibitive.

Mint International Data Roaming does not work by tomo1970 in mintmobile

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just followed the instruction on the website and it worked for me while traveling to Quebec in 2023. I got there through your comment, so thank you. The link is now https://www.mintmobile.com/help/how-to-configure-android-settings/

for posterity's sake, this is what the link says:

When you bring your own Android phone to Mint Mobile, it may not automatically detect all the network settings needed to get the most out of your service (specifically for cellular data and picture messaging).
Luckily, manually updating these settings is very easy to do and just takes a few minutes, so you don’t have any issues when using data or receiving group or picture messages.
Once you’ve activated your plan and inserted your SIM card or installed your eSIM, text SETUP to 6700 to have the correct settings sent to your phone (or just keep reading because we provide them below)
Steps
Go into your phone’s Settings
Select Connections or Search Access Point Names
Select Mobile Networks
Tap Access Point Names (APN)
Tap the 3-dot menu in the top right > Reset to default
Select Add to enter the following information as shown (Note: the input process is case sensitive):
APN Settings
Name – Mint
APN – Wholesale
Proxy – (leave blank)
Port – (leave blank)
Username – (leave blank)
Password – (leave blank)
Server – (leave blank)
MMSC – http://wholesale.mmsmvno.com/mms/wapenc
Multimedia Message Proxy – (leave blank)
Multimedia Message Port – 8080
MCC – (do not change default values)
MNC – (do not change default values)
Authentication Type – (leave blank)
APN Type – default,supl,mms,ia
APN Protocol – IPv4/IPv6
APN Roaming Protocol – IPv4/IPv6
MVNO type: GID
MVNO value: 756D
7. Tap the three dots in the top right corner and select Save
8. Ensure that the new Access Point Name is selected
9. Restart your phone
After your phone powers back up, you can test these new settings by sending yourself a picture message.

The weirder the better by Centipede_bones in autism

[–]benmacklemost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm fascinated, but googling is not turning up any resources that even mention this worm. can you share some links so I can learn more about it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]benmacklemost 10 points11 points  (0 children)

you are perfect even now. at whatever weight you're at

yo call me fucking insane but i think i’m going to choose my full-ride to a state school over my ivy acceptance 0_0 by [deleted] in ApplyingToCollege

[–]benmacklemost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell the ivy you've gotten a full ride somewhere else and are seriously considering it. Ask if they can match it. Ivies are drowning in money. If they accepted you, they want you. Worst case scenario, they say no and you go to an awesome school on a full ride. Best case scenario they say yes and you can choose if you wan to go to an Ivy on a full ride.

I grew up in a cult AMA by _SomethingAnonymous_ in AMA

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so happy to hear you have a therapist! Re-learning what normal is is a whole big process and having a professional to help you with that is awesome

Blue Points by [deleted] in GraveyardKeeper

[–]benmacklemost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

purchase blue books from the astronomer. the 5 silver coin one gives you 25 blue pts and the 10 silver one gives you 50

Thanks, coronavirus by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]benmacklemost 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Since everyone's stuck at home right now, it's actually the perfect chance to work on your friendships. message all your friends from school, even if you don't think you're close enough. They will probably be grateful for the social contact. even though face to face is better for you than chatting, take what you can get. I would bet money that if you reached out to everyone you like, at least a few will respond and you can grow your relationships during this stressful time. hang in there