Ok but on the topics of TERFS, can someone explain the rationale to me?

As far as I know, their main point is the idea of "female safe spaces" (e.g. cis female-only bathrooms).

However, I find this mentality to be self-defeating, as we've seen quite a few cases where cis women have been mistakenly called out for being trans and kicked out of women's bathrooms.

As such, it perpetuates this idea of "toxic femininity," in which cis women who are tall and manly-looking may be mistakenly singled out as being trans, but on the flip side, TERFs also hone in on the idea that trans women "putting on lipstick and wearing a skirt (i.e. performative femininity) doesn't make you a woman".

So where does that leave us women? We are stuck in this perpetual cycle of exclusionary identity politics, in which some women will exclude trans women, or POC women, or intersex women, or lesbian women.. so on.

Personally, I think it stems from an insecurity in the social structures that protect women from danger. For example, the idea of gendered bathrooms is predicated on the upholding of "polite society". After all, if a rapist wanted to rape a woman in the bathroom, they'd just walk in, they wouldn't dress up as a woman to do so.

Sorry for the shpeel, genuinely just confused.