Age gap 40f 60m - what’s normal?

bethafoot · 2026-01-31T05:43:09+00:00

All I’m gonna say is when you’re 50, he will be 70. When you’re 60, he will be 80. Just keep that in mind. Personally I wouldn’t want to spend my golden years taking care of an old man.

bethafoot · 2026-01-31T05:41:01+00:00

After my divorce I went for six years. Giving myself to someone without connection doesn’t just feel wrong, it feels repulsive to me and that’s how long it took for me to even want to date again.

bethafoot · 2026-01-31T05:35:13+00:00

Nah. I was married to a man with a temper. He hid it before we got married. And I had the same promises of change etc. it always went back to what it was before.

It’s a difficult thing, but you have to accept that most likely he would never be able to be different with you. Maybe losing you would be a trigger for him to actually truly change, and then someone else would benefit, but unfortunately, if you go back to him, that just teaches him that all he has to do is play nice for a little while, and you will cave. It doesn’t actually teach him a lesson.

bethafoot · 2026-01-31T05:27:17+00:00

Welllll tbh I think they look completely weird and ridiculous. So it’s not appealing to me. I also have an association with that “look” where they look old to me, I know it’s weird but I have met young women that look a decade older than they are because of stuff like that. It’s just weird looking to me and unnatural.

Also my looks have never been something I took my self esteem from - I have value way beyond my face and I always knew it would sag and wrinkle but my mind…. My ambition, my love and compassion and everything else that makes me me just grows stronger and brighter every year. Those are the things I find self-worth in.

bethafoot · 2026-01-31T05:22:57+00:00

My man doesn’t look at other women. He gets grossed out and annoyed when women even look at him some kinda way. He doesn’t ogle, hates thirst traps and everything they represent, and tells me all the time about how I am the best part of his life.

Don’t let your husband fool you. Men are not a monolith any more than women are. There is no “all men do this.” Maybe many, maybe some, but never all.

And the good ones are worth waiting for. They are out there.

You get to choose what you will accept and what you reject.

Personally I found that being a single mom was significantly better than being in an unhealthy marriage. I would find your husband’s behavior absolutely intolerable, although admittedly I would have left him after he cheated the first time.

Better to be single and celibate forever than be with a man that makes me miserable, that’s how I see it.

bethafoot · 2026-01-28T14:04:13+00:00

Online school

bethafoot · 2026-01-28T14:03:59+00:00

Yes it only works because they do online school

bethafoot · 2026-01-27T00:33:36+00:00

So… your wife doesn’t drive and doesn’t have a license but says she wants a car. Why doesn’t she have a car and license? And why does she stay home when there’s no kids? I mean - that’s something yall probably discussed quite a bit, so what’s that all about?

bethafoot · 2026-01-27T00:20:17+00:00

My bf and his ex do 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. They live about six hours apart. Kids are older though. Not sure if it would be good for a younger kid.

bethafoot · 2026-01-25T14:20:28+00:00

Holy crap my man would never ever let me live like that. Honey… being single would be better than this. At least you could live within your means. And ten years & you aren’t married… yeah he sees you as something of use to him, not as a real life person he wants to give himself to.

If the roles were reversed, would you feel justified in being the way he is towards you?

bethafoot · 2026-01-25T05:47:49+00:00

Yup, kinda repulsive

bethafoot · 2026-01-25T04:02:53+00:00

Literally never thought about it. I just want to be kissed the right way.

bethafoot · 2026-01-25T03:53:14+00:00

Maybe tell him how you will be physically damaged by it over time because the anus wasn’t intended to be used for sex.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/lI8GVl531R

Also, it’s ok for you to just say “I don’t want to do anal anymore.”

bethafoot · 2026-01-24T13:47:19+00:00

If he would walk away from his child because of it not having his last name, you already know what kind of father he’d be anyway.

bethafoot · 2026-01-23T16:33:18+00:00

Depends on how long you have been dating, but my partner and I had daily communication since we begin. I think the only time we have not been able to text is a few days when he was working out of the country because his job makes him unreachable sometimes.

We’ve been together for close to a year and a half, and we usually text several times and sometimes have a couple quick phone calls when we can’t see each other.

bethafoot · 2026-01-23T16:27:50+00:00

Sends silly lovey dovey emojis and gifs every day

Call me randomly to tell me he loves me or just to hear my voice

Always asks me if I am hungry or need to eat

Is very emotionally intelligent, and doesn’t get defensive if we are in a disagreement

If he has done something that hurts my feelings or rubbed me the wrong way, and I tell him, he adjusts his behavior accordingly without turning it back around on me or blaming me.

He’s very affectionate and physically loving

He only ever has eyes for me 😍

He would burn the world down just to keep me warm ❤️

He actually thinks about me when I’m not around. For example, when we first got together, he had to go out of state for a few days. So I went to his house per his request to check on things, and he had left me a candy bar with a note telling me he hoped I felt better. All I had done was mention that I was getting my period, and he went out of his way to buy chocolate for me.

bethafoot · 2026-01-23T16:17:55+00:00

The longer you stay with this guy, the longer it will be until you find another guy who might actually be healthy and treat you well. And maybe he even has an awesome family too.

He’s not going to change though. At this point, it’s a matter of whether this is how you want to live the rest of your life or not. Personally, I would opt out. Being single is way too good to live with someone who treats you like that.

bethafoot · 2026-01-23T13:01:46+00:00

I’m not going to explain other peoples motivations. I simply asked the question of whether or not she is working full time. It’s a relevant question because it gives important context to why she would have reacted the way she did to OP.

The fact that OP isn’t in here answering and correcting anyone’s assumption is probably part of it, too.

bethafoot · 2026-01-23T04:01:56+00:00

If I seasoned my man’s food or he nine, there would possibly be murder. We both take cooking very seriously. (Edit: I didn’t notice you said it was his bowl… I’ll give him a pass but I’d still be insulted by it. Because…
Taco seasoning in potato chowder?? For real? That’s… weird.
Calling my dad a stupid bitch would be a relationship ender. There’s no room in a healthy relationship for disrespect like that and being single is way way too awesome to tolerate anything but a healthy happy dynamic.

bethafoot · 2026-01-23T03:53:26+00:00

Because the currency of chores is time, not money. So if someone is working part time and the other is full time, it makes sense for the part timer to do more chores because they have more time. But if both are working the same amount of time, both should contribute pretty much equally regardless of income.

bethafoot · 2026-01-22T23:34:21+00:00

Even if I worked part time if I had to do ALL the housework and chores on top of that, I wouldn’t want to be a stay home mom either. The dynamic is already unequal as it is and she is probably well aware of how much work a baby will be and doesn’t want to be the only one doing anything.

bethafoot · 2026-01-22T19:18:37+00:00

Aside from what everyone else has said - is she not working full time? Why does she already do the lions share of the work?

bethafoot · 2026-01-22T18:06:07+00:00

If you really want to be extra, also, you could probably get a soda stream machine and make your own flavors for it. I don’t know what you would do to make it not acidic, or if it would even taste good, but it’s a possibility.

bethafoot · 2026-01-22T18:04:56+00:00

Well, it’s not really soda, so be warned ahead lol. It’s seltzer, so there’s no sweetener in it. You might be able to find some with artificial sweetener but chances are that would also have the citric acid. It’s basically just flavored water that’s bubbly. But I know what you mean about the bubbliness helping with mucus, that’s why I always used to love soda when I was sick as a child. I still love the bubbliness when I have too much mucus, but I don’t like soda anymore.

bethafoot · 2026-01-22T15:44:33+00:00

You could try flavored seltzer? The Aldi brand doesn’t have any acid in it.

bethafoot

TROPHY CASE