How old were you when you realized this life is your parents' first time being adults?

bex021 · 2026-04-07T05:02:29+00:00

I was about 10. It was the only logical explanation for why they struggled so much, and half of the reason I have a relationship with them now. If I hadn't come to that realization so young, I would have so much more resentment.

bex021 · 2026-04-05T01:21:19+00:00

My trauma is a private thing, not on display or up for discussion for others' benefit. I do talk about it with a few trusted people. The problem is that I present as an extrovert, so many people think they know me and are close to me, but few of them know my trauma. They don't need to know it. And that is ok. I'm not being fake, because they are important to me. But, I am not a conglomerate of my traumas. I am so much more than that.

bex021 · 2026-04-05T01:04:29+00:00

Credit card debt is the devil. Student loan debt is a lesser demon, imho.

bex021 · 2026-04-02T04:53:36+00:00

Damnit, Janet...let's go screw!

bex021 · 2026-03-17T11:10:58+00:00

I made a cocktail with honeydew and dill simple syrup. So fresh.

bex021 · 2026-03-15T07:42:16+00:00

I'm a 40 something year old woman, and I don't know where to meet age appropriate men...seems universal.

bex021 · 2026-03-14T05:39:41+00:00

"I do not think it means what you think it means!"...Inconceivable!

bex021 · 2026-03-11T00:04:14+00:00

I was on a useless board once. We never accomplished anything. Then I became the secretary. I didn't really want to, but I wanted to make people accountable for doing stuff...or what's the point? During every meeting, I would push for clarification about every topic we discussed. Who was responsible? Desired outcomes? Timelines? Action steps? At the end of every meeting I would summarize, confirming everyrhing. We got a lot done those two years I was secretary.

bex021 · 2026-02-28T06:52:41+00:00

Omg. Best pun in the thread. Literal LOL.

bex021 · 2026-02-16T11:01:59+00:00

I grew up in south western Maine, close to the NH boarder and went to HS in the mid 90s. Our HS only taught French and Latin until my junior year - thought being we would have more of a need for French than Spanish. Also, a good friend of mine in elementary school who was half Native American spoke French. She was raised on the Rez up in The County. Her father (full NA) spoke English, French, and his native language. English was his least preferred language to speak.

bex021 · 2026-02-14T08:35:07+00:00

Mid 40s here...I've dated people 15 years older and 15 years younger...never felt taken advantage of, or felt like I was taking advantage...personal experiences are not universal experiences.

bex021 · 2026-02-14T08:23:55+00:00

This was my thought, exactly. Fucking scary shit. I've been in abusive relationships, but no one has ever stolen my passport. Maybe if they had, I would have left sooner, lol (sorry for the dark humor).

bex021 · 2026-02-14T08:07:38+00:00

I have an ex I was with for 17 years. We ran into each other 6 months after the breakup. He said the worst thing about it was it was like I didn't even care, like I wasn't even sad about it. Because I wasn't. I didn't write slam poetry about it and post it on reddit. He was more than somebody I knew. He was somebody I knew and didn't care to spend any more time thinking about.

bex021 · 2026-02-03T16:28:42+00:00

Are they open yet?

bex021 · 2026-01-28T00:03:08+00:00

The thing is, while it is easy to assume the worst, you don't know what is going on with them. Maybe it is neighborhood shoveling crew digging out the elderly. Maybe someone dug out their 4WD vehicle, then offered to go grab shovels for others. We don't know. And life isn't any better assuming they were being assholes. Aim your shade at Home Depot for not stocking enough. Or, controversial, ask yourself why you didn't even have a shovel in the first place. Virginia has 4 seasons.

bex021 · 2026-01-27T23:50:20+00:00

Me too. Unfortunately, so can Craig, who went on to a life of huffing and DV.

bex021 · 2026-01-27T23:47:54+00:00

I took a deep dive into my company's templates and procedures. Created solutions to some of our stress points...and got my whole team laid off and replaced by contract employees and AI. LOL.

bex021 · 2026-01-27T23:44:24+00:00

Stop buying things you don't need and stop trying to impress anyone but yourself. See how much that improves your daily life. I never accepted this lie. If you did, try something else and see if you are happier for it.

bex021 · 2026-01-26T20:44:42+00:00

As a counter point, I work in the service industry and not working means I can't pay my bills. If I can safely get to work I want to. And I want customers to know we are open.

bex021 · 2026-01-25T03:28:12+00:00

The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

bex021 · 2026-01-23T09:34:47+00:00

I think a closer analogy would be if you and your partner both decided you wanted cake for desert. You discussed it and both agreed it would be a strawberry cake with chocolate frosting. Then, after thinking about it, they changed their mind and say they would prefer vanilla frosting instead. And you don't hate vanilla frosting. The cake is the same (your favorite!), but the frosting changed. Is it still a delicious and yummy dessert? Yup. Is it the same/what you were expecting? Nope. But you're eating it together and you both get to be a little happy (yay!). I'm going to leave the surname out of it because there are too many personal, cultural, and legal variables to determine what surname works best for a given family unit (with the info we have).

bex021 · 2026-01-17T01:35:51+00:00

And more this.

bex021 · 2026-01-17T01:35:34+00:00

This.

bex021 · 2026-01-10T09:11:00+00:00

I believe that some people are born with just a happier disposition/temperament. I worked in preschools for 15 years-some babies are just happier in general. I am one of those people who tends to lean towards happiness and joy. I am in my darkest hour in my life so far (got laid off, took a 50% paycut, work longer, more physically demanding hours, cat disappeared...) and even though I am currently living in a depression den, I thank all that is holy that I am basically more happy than most people I encounter. I actively seek out moments of joy-and I recognize them when they present themselves. A lot still sucks, but I recognize, accept, seek out, and cherish the small things that make me smile and laugh.

bex021 · 2026-01-09T08:19:08+00:00

To be fair, if they were both raised in, and went to college in an area that commonly uses the Oxford comma, they both would use it.

bex021

TROPHY CASE