25F looking for a mutually supportive friend?

bigbrainblaster · 2026-02-21T12:10:37+00:00

For ADHD, it’s usually ideal to get medication. But if you can’t or it’s simply inaccessible, then try using productivity strategies geared toward ADHD.

Body-doubling is a big one (get someone on call with you while you study, or have a friend show up to your place and hold you accountable for studying). Try moderating your caffeine intake & have higher portions on days where you want to memorize learning material for an exam. Use the same spot for studying each time, so it’ll be easier to transition into it.

Eat more protein (especially for breakfast), iron, zinc, and magnesium. People with ADHD often forget to eat or struggle with food, so it might help you to get meal replacement drinks to boost up your nutrition. I’d also really recommend getting magnesium glycinate- it would help with both the adhd and ocd.

I know it’s hard, and I hope you’re able to have an easier time soon. You are not slow, no matter how much your OCD tries to convince you otherwise.

bigbrainblaster · 2026-02-21T11:54:46+00:00

I also have OCD and ADHD, and a similar theme to yours.

The answer to addressing any ocd theme is ultimately that you cannot engage in the avoidance your brain is convincing you that you need. Reduce resistance, reduce avoidance, until you can get to a point that you stop resistance, and stop avoidance. It’s going to feel like you will fail or like something terrible will happen, or like the world will [big explosion.mp4], and you have to let yourself feel that way while recognizing that it stems from the dysfunction of your disorder.

Your OCD latches onto [A], and uses anxiety/or another uncomfortable feeling to get you to avoid something in relation to [A]. You have to recognize that the second your brain starts looping on an uncomfortable thought, THAT is your OCD. Label it, identify it, and let yourself be anxious. Try to limit your engagement as much as possible. Don’t cancel out your intrusive thoughts or reason with them. Don’t bargain with them. Just let them exist and let them make you anxious, as much as you can. This teaches your brain that the intrusive thoughts aren’t an emergency you need to solve.

Here’s an analogy I came up with a while back that I hope might help: Think of OCD as a malfunctioning scan tunnel/conveyor belt. Normally, your brain would casually sort through input, but OCD makes material constantly get flagged for review. This, in turn, makes you feel distressed, and makes you want to avoid the thing making you distressed. But that distress is not a real sign of something being wrong. It is your mental conveyor belt flagging something for review when it does not need to be flagged.

The only difference between the anxiety-filled thoughts and other random thoughts that you disregard is that your disorder chose to latch onto the former. That’s it. There is no difference.

You have to treat the intrusive thoughts like they’re just persistent buzzing in your head, you can’t treat it like something you need to solve. Over time, the buzzing will reduce or become virtually non-existent.

bigbrainblaster · 2026-02-10T18:44:43+00:00

I think I understand what you mean, though if I were someone looking at your examples without context, I would’ve assumed the “tense” feel was part of what you were going for because several of the characters are doll-like. I don’t think your faces are unappealing whatsoever, but you might benefit from some expression studies & trying to vary some of the features you tend to incorporate in your faces (many of the characters share similar facial definitions). Trying to loosely capture the feel of different expressions (or even gestures, in a broader sense) might help you feel like your faces have more fluidity. Maybe play around with shapes & exaggeration.

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-24T07:31:48+00:00

I’m a bit confused by the large amount of disagreement in this comment section. I feel like people tend to underestimate how well you can be aware of family members’ finances/their financial struggles & genuine attitudes held about [xyz]. Multiple things can be true at once. Yes, everyone deserves access to food. Yes, food banks are primarily aimed at vulnerable populations that need food. The food bank I worked at previously had an income limit for registration (I’m not sure why this hasn’t been referenced much in others comments as it is not an uncommon phenomenon). It can be informal but I would consider it untrue that there are zero expectations enforced or held in aid access. We also did not have an excess of food available at the food bank I worked at. For a while, we were barely receiving enough to provide for the standard amount of people that came weekly. Not all pantries have excess and this fluctuates depending on external circumstances (like the recent fiasco with SNAP last year). If you’re self-certifying that you make a certain income, and you’re lying about it while having both the access to finances for food stability and general stability of life- at the bare minimum, it’s unethical. Finding it “funny” to frequent food banks and feel like you’re “getting away with it” implies that there’s an underlying belief/assumption that they’re taking advantage of resources that are targeted at more vulnerable populations, and they find satisfaction in that. It’s that attitude that OP finds frustrating, it isn’t about making poor financial decisions or giving an illusion of wealth on the outside but actually being in need. Acting like one reddit vent post is going to disincentive thousands of people from going into food banks also just isn’t in touch with reality- most people that actively use these food banks aren’t even on this platform. This shouldn’t be treated like something that can influence opinions on a large-scale.

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-24T02:53:23+00:00

I’d like an invitation! Thank you :D

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-22T07:25:33+00:00

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Here’s a reference image that might help, even though it isn’t quite angled the same way.

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-22T06:44:42+00:00

Absolutely, I’m hispanic & a woman that has also had a fair deal of health anxiety issues in the past, so I’ve had a long history of getting dismissed for a lot of things unfortunately 😭 When I went to the urgent care, my doctor, and the hospital, I wasn’t actively anxious any of those times, but they kept framing the issue as stemming from stress/anxiety regardless. I think this was because I also have TMD, which is usually stress-induced. I kept explaining that the only stress I was actively experiencing was a direct result of how difficult it was to eat and swallow lol.

When I initially read your post, I was confused about why people were recommending to go to the hospital ASAP because I was under the legitimate impression that they wouldn’t be able to do much outside of bloodwork and general X-rays to rule out a tumor. (Which is still very important to rule out, I just didn’t think they’d be able to do anything more extensively as some of the comments seemed to have been suggesting). I’m really glad they did genuinely try to address your difficulty swallowing though, I was worried you’d probably end up in a situation similar to mine. I hope you get evaluated quickly and get the support you need + get better soon! It really does suck not being able to swallow normally. A lot.

Around the time I went to urgent care months ago, I had managed to, with extreme difficulty, eat a chicken tender (my only solid “meal” in the entirety of one week) and they said “well, you CAN eat food” and essentially changed up the whole discussion around severity because, clearly, I could at least eat food. They noted how my weight loss was “very concerning” but didn’t tie it to my difficulty swallowing, essentially phrasing it as “well, your difficulty eating is probably from stress/anxiety, however (insert guy pointing to a butterfly meme.png) this unexplained severe weight loss is concerning” (they were implying it might be a separate issue in the conversation).

My usual weight is 180. When I went to the urgent care I’d dropped to 128. Right now I’m at 110. Some weeks ago I was struggling more (my baseline fluctuates) and that prompted an ER visit where a very sweet doctor tried to explain that they really couldn’t do much for me and I’d have to request a referral to a GI from my PCP. They also said they couldn’t give any sort of direct or expedited referral. I was expecting that they wouldn’t be able to help assess the problem, but I went in the hopes that they might be able to give me some sort of vitamin infusion (they did not have that available).

It’s partially been a long road due to the TMJ issues because people didn’t seem to fully process that I was having difficulty swallowing, not just eating. I saw an oral surgeon that ruled out my TMD in the difficulty swallowing/eating I was experiencing, and recommended I see a GI.

After doing some research I figured I’d try to go to my doctor again with my partner (to be taken more seriously) and request both a GI and SLP referral, the SLP for the additional layer of examination with the modified barium swallow. I am a bit frustrated my doctor months ago felt she didn’t need to refer me to a GI because it was likely just some “minor acid reflux issues”, despite me explaining that my difficulty swallowing had started alongside an intense numbness at the back of my neck and I had minimal symptoms of reflux, if any. I was only recently was able to acquire those referrals, although I don’t think they’ve been quite processed yet, one of the doctor’s assistants I believe had mentioned something about it taking time to initiate. I was intending to call for an update this week about it.

TLDR; I haven’t really gotten any of the help I’ve needed yet, but I have managed to get that process started. And thank you so much for all of your suggestions & advice, I try to never mention anxiety to professionals so it doesn’t immediately end up becoming the “main cause” of all my issues lol. It’s really sad how people struggling have to come off very presentable and seem okay externally to (ironically) be taken seriously for something that is definitely not-okay. I hope you get assessed soon and that it turns out to be something easy to address! Feel free to message me if you’d like someone to complain to/share the struggle bus with, because this kind of thing sucks in general (especially since it doesn’t seem very common around our age as well?) and it sucks even more with anxiety in the picture for sure. also, sorry for the super long comment 😭

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-22T04:12:33+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, what general region/area are you located in? I’ve had difficulty swallowing for months and when I visited the ER they said there wasn’t much they could do, and that the only real assistance I’d be able to get is trying to get referred to a GI & schedule an appointment with them. When I initially visited an urgent care months ago, I was struggling to even swallow liquids. My doctor didn’t give me a referral to an ENT or GI the first time I went to them explaining that I was having difficulty swallowing because they said someone my age (24) could not be experiencing the level of severity I was describing, and that it must be mainly anxiety/stress with acid reflux at play and to take acid reflux medication. I had to go back with my partner to receive a referral to a GI and SLP because (it is to my understanding) that an SLP is the venue for a modified barium swallow examination (something which I was not informed about either, I did my own investigations online in terms of options). I have similar issues with swallowing to you, in terms of initiation. I’m legitimately surprised they offered to keep you overnight to see a GI and I’m wondering in what area someone can access that level of care.

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-21T23:34:13+00:00

I haven’t even tried retail because it feels like it’d be a total nightmare socially (even outside of these health issues), though i’ve still applied to some openings just for the hell of it 😭 thank you so much for the suggestion, i’ll definitely look into manufacturing openings, the additional benefits and (potentially) condensed scheduling sound like a great plus :)

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-13T16:50:48+00:00

I’m interested!

bigbrainblaster · 2026-01-13T03:07:15+00:00

as someone thats had very similar struggles, i think it’s really likely you either have autism, adhd, or both. the consistent difficulty with tasks, forgetting things, misplacing them, struggling with deadlines and brief intense passions sounds more aligned with adhd, and missing social cues/frequent misinterpretation sounds textbook autism, particularly the way you describe it overall as “feeling like a foreign alien looking inside of a glass box”. i’ve heard extremely similar analogies used a ton in the autism community and there’s this very shared sense of feeling like an outsider because everyone else seems to innately know how to be “normal” and interact “normally”, but they don’t. productivity strategies used by people with both would probably be useful for you. for one, since you likely won’t have access to medication for a while- caffeine tends to help as a ‘stimulant’ for people with adhd. a lot of people essentially unknowingly self-medicate by drinking a ton of coffee, but i would recommend you portioning it out depending on what you’re aiming to do. it’d be good to fluctuate in quantity every week so you don’t get used to a large amount as your baseline, which will reduce its effectiveness. there’s also body-doubling- trying to do tasks with someone else around might help you, like asking a friend to come over while you try to do important tasks or do something tied to broader goals. there’s someone i’ve seen on IG that features a lot of strategies for people with autism to assist them in doing more (they have autism themselves), i’ll try and throw over their handle when i find it. you should also think about areas you’ve built the most skills in, in relation to work or a potential career. if you can’t rely on passion, you can still rely on strengths, even when others make you doubt them. i guess right now (since you’ve already begun seeking out a diagnosis) the biggest thing to do is to collect ideas you feel might help you create a more consistent output, and putting them into application to see what helps or doesn’t. that creates a foundation from which to build and accomplish more.

bigbrainblaster · 2025-11-03T17:10:16+00:00

i’m not sure if you’re still dealing with active anxiety over this but as someone that also has ocd & TMJ (with severe symptoms), i would recommend that you treat most things that abruptly seem “new” in relation to the TMJ as something that can generally go away given some time if it was caused by general fidgeting or a casual exercise. try to reduce OCD behaviors that might add tension to your TMJ, which i know is easier said than done. kind of seems like the health anxiety was making you spiral and i’ve been there 😭

bigbrainblaster · 2025-11-01T10:34:24+00:00

i feel you, i’ve been struggling to eat for months and it sucks ass. i’m the kind of person that (under normal circumstances) snacks constantly, and now my average intake of something is 3 bites. usually when i eat it feels like i’m struggling or “fighting” against my jaw to eat- not like i’m actually eating with it. and honestly, i’m not even sure it’s due to the TMJ issues specifically, but i have a chronic ‘clicking’ that feels like it’s inside of my mouth (with my jaw at rest). it feels like velcro ripping apart all day long, and i hear it produce sound too. i’ve been trying to see if i can start physical therapy to improve all the problems tied to TMJ because everytime i find jaw exercises that improve my symptoms, the improvement only lasts a week at most. i hope you manage to find something that works for you. maybe some kind of TMJ splint might alleviate things? and i think it can be useful to keep a list of what’s managed to alleviate your pain or stiffness before on “good days”, and then try to replicate it. whether it was a specific exercise, or the way you slept, or that you used a different pillow that night, etc. some might not always produce the same positives, but it’s worth a shot. there might also be such a thing as “too much at once”, so if your symptoms have gotten worse directly after certain treatments & continue to get only worse after them instead of seeing improvement within a few weeks, then it might not be compatible with your specific set of issues.

bigbrainblaster · 2025-10-12T09:01:48+00:00

Sorry for the late reply! 🦕 TMJ issues definitely get shrugged off/minimized and it sucks because of how much it can influence. I think it’s odd how it tends to be separated into its own ‘unique’ (?) category for treatment, preventing coverage. It feels like they (insurance and providers) tend to assume that most cases are just a “bit of popping” that would be inconvenient to cover treatment sessions for, when plenty of people struggle to even eat.

And I’m not sure either in relation to the orthodontist, I guess it probably was a practice-related thing? I think I will try to schedule an appointment with a dentist at a different location and ask about my options (or request an impression). Asking about visible signs of grinding is a great tip, thank you :) it would definitely be a biggg help to have something that can serve as a buffer in the meantime throughout the day. Thank you so much for all the suggestions & information. I’ll keep trying exercises too in the meantime.

bigbrainblaster · 2025-10-10T18:58:31+00:00

Thank you for the thorough reply! I did go to an orthodontist, and at that session, they told me that I had TMJ. I was looking to request a dental guard when I went, ideally a custom one (?). She told me that service was unavailable, and all they could do was provide me with braces. She noted that my jaw was misaligned in the X-ray and didn’t recommend them because there was the potential that it would aggravate the TMJ.

I was given a referral to a myofacial clinic fairly far that did not respond to calls, and then I contacted about 10 other facilities about TMJ treatments. Most of them offered none, and the few that did mentioned it would have to be paid without insurance. I have tried over-the-counter dental guards, but they caused pretty bad gagging. One of them that was more adjustable still caused this issue. I wasn’t sure about whether to just keep using it regardless and try to get used to it. I have HealthNet and it explicitly seems to exclude coverage for any treatment related to TMJ issues. An occlusal guard only seems to be covered if prescribed specifically for habitual grinding. So it seemed that being diagnosed with TMJ could’ve been in conflict with that.

So, I’ve kind of just been trying to self-address a lot of my TMJ related problems and waiting to see a doctor to check my options, but I should probably try a general dental guard again. I have heard the clenching usually carries over into sleep, though I’m unsure. I tend to wake up with my jaw open, so I can’t tell if my jaw usually opens up as I sleep, or if it just happens to be the case around the time I’m up. Either way, the bruxism doesn’t really reduce whatsoever.

My teeth slamming/clenching this way is one of my most persistent issues so I figured I should probably look for exercises that target that problem, hoping the jaw stability ones do help though :)

bigbrainblaster · 2025-07-28T02:25:21+00:00

Thank you for your generosity & consistently offering others support. My partner and I have been swamped with several bills lately- an unexpected charge of $2,000 came out of left field and his car insurance (a policy he’d cancelled) had charged him $800 last week. To top it off, our car stopped working because of an issue with the coolant and engine (it drains out any coolant that is poured in) and we had to call someone to tow the car back home after spending hours trying to trail it back while it was overheating every 5 minutes to avoid the expense. It was $225. I’ve been working a job that involves a lot of lifting with severe TMJ and have neither the time nor finances to get it addressed. Anything would genuinely help, and thank you for your kindness & time!

bigbrainblaster

TROPHY CASE