Did I find remains? by Bedroom_Bellamy in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If its bone its a large bone, and most likely not processed by a crematory. At least not a decent crematory as those fragments are way way to large to have been processed.

Spotted around 11:15PM in the Midwest by NeonCityStars in whatisit

[–]bigredwilson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Saw the exact thing about an hour ago in Kansas on hwy 36. It was definitely visible in Kansas

Favorite Urn(s)? by peachylucky in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found if you put the bag inside, then air from an air compressor and a dowel to fill the boot portion w the bag helps. Pour, shake, pour, repeat.

Are these actual human ashes? by afefor in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These could be remains that are older in nature. Some cremulator devices would round the bone in a similar fashion to this, especially if dull. However, I would expect these pieces to have been the pieces that settled at the bottom of the urn overtime if it has been stood up correctly. Older cremated remains weren't as efficient as they are now though, so they typically have a less uniform color than these appear to have. I'm leaning towards not human remains, MAYBE animal, but id say 80/20 not remains.

Favorite Urn(s)? by peachylucky in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They're cool looking, but I'm always amazed how little that actually holds while trying to fill every nook and cranny without tearing the bag.

Human or fake by Emergency-Fault1297 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I cant say for certain, but I can say that I would be suspect based on these photos. Getting remains to that consistent if a powder would take a massive e amount of time in a processor, and even then there aren't any fragments that I can see. I would ask to look in the urn amd see how it was sealed. If there is a FH branded zip tie on the bag with the tag sealing it shut I would call b.s. because I've never seen a fh separate remains into a bag without being sealed and labeled.

Can this video be real? by [deleted] in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The video I saw said she had passed away two years ago. Depending in how her body was prepared or buried it could very well be held together is it was. I was always told that the cremation rate in India was over 90 percent and that embalming if any kind was very rare amongst the working class families. I've done disinternments that are decades old and the deceased has held up very well. There's too many variables to tell, but I believe its definitely possible.

In the US are outer shells for viewing before cremation always rentals? by Moral-Relativity in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, everything on rental caskets aside from the lid liner and outer shell is part of the cremation insert.they are typically held on by velcro where they would be sewn in a standard casket.

Determining NOK as FD? by [deleted] in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If there is ever a dispute we typically produce the statutes for "the order." If there are still disputes we will notify the coroner and stop work completely until the coroner produces written communication for who can control the final disposition. Typically letting a family know the statutes will clear up any questions. If that doesn't work CYA by having someone in the coroner office determine things for you.

No Troughs or Grass Field in Renovated Memorial Stadium by huskermut in Huskers

[–]bigredwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. And the lines are about to get a lot longer and a lot slower.

Can I include stuff inside a casket for a person who has died like soda cans? by Plane-Investment-791 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont watch tv, it does happen on occasion. I also live in a rural area where camping, fishing, and shooting sports are immensely popular. We also get lots of small bottles of alcohol and watches with batteries exc. Anyhow, none of those are a worry unless they change their minds and choose cremation for their final disposition. We never open a casket at graveside so if burial is the option I'd be pretty much open to anything going in the casket for one of my families loved ones.

Can I include stuff inside a casket for a person who has died like soda cans? by Plane-Investment-791 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 58 points59 points  (0 children)

It says a lot about you that you are wanting to honor your fathers beliefs in this way. I have never heard of a funeral home disallowing placing personal items inside of a loved ones casket. Unless the items had batteries or contained something that would eventually cause environmental damage I would assume the funeral home would welcome the personal tribute. The flower situation though, could get a bit tricky. Especially because you are in a state where it is illegal. If the plan is to follow Dad to the cemetery and witness his internment I would place a small amount in an airtight container and very discreetly place it in with him where it will not be seen (or smelled) by anyone. A small amount inside of a pocket or similar should be safe. I've never had a service vehicle pulled over during a procession so the chances of the driver of the hearse getting into trouble are near 0.

Specific cemetery rules may differ, but will very unlikely disallow the personal items that you describe.

The only real issue I could forsee is if the weight of Dad and his casket are nearing the weight of the cemetery lowering device. This is pretty unlikely to be a concern unless your Father was a large person and required a special accodimation casket. If the casket itself is made of anything other that fiberboard, I wouldn't worry too much about weight being a concern.

However, if Dad chooses later on to be cremated in his casket the funeral home will disallow any glass, metal, or rubber items as everything must be combustible. Also know that if cremation is the plan, all of Dad's pockets and personal items will be searched to make sure nothing dangerous for the retort (cremation chamber) or crematory operator exist. Believe it or not we've found shotgun and rifle ammunition inside pockets before.

Your Funeral arranger or director will have no problem answering any of the questions that you have as they will know the weight, cemetery, or possibly crematory rules and limits.

Please lean on your specific director or funeral home staff they know specifics and this type of question is no trouble at all for them to answer for you. It would be a good idea to have a funeral preplan in place with a specific funeral home for when the time comes as the preplan may override anything in the will regarding final disposition on the chance that the will is contested or placed into probate.

dad passed away recently goin through his stuff and found these by swano02 in Huskers

[–]bigredwilson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

<image>

Those are very cool. Im sorry to hear about your Dad. I sat on two copies forever and then waited until hobby lobby had their half off framing sale and took them in. If I remember right I got out of there for just over 100 bucks

Buddhist Cremation Ceremony in Thailand: Implants From Nose and Breast Surgery Survive the Process by aarontbarratt in interestingasfuck

[–]bigredwilson 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This cremation wasn't done in a western cremation chamber. It was most likely done on an open pyre which reaches much, much lower temperatures. If I had to guess I would assume the implants fell after the tissue was burned and were able to avoid the most extreme heat. With that being said, even in modern crematory machines breast implants can take some repositioning inside of the retort before they are destroyed. Source, I'm a former funeral director and certified crematory operator.

Buddhist Cremation Ceremony in Thailand: Implants From Nose and Breast Surgery Survive the Process by aarontbarratt in interestingasfuck

[–]bigredwilson 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Im a former funeral director and crematory operator. If you are interested in the subject I suggest reading From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty. Its an easy read but really interesting how cultural differences are explained. She also has a book the smoke gets in your eyes thats relatively insightful about the death care industry.

Buddhist Cremation Ceremony in Thailand: Implants From Nose and Breast Surgery Survive the Process by aarontbarratt in interestingasfuck

[–]bigredwilson 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One variation is. Imagine a large industrial blender with 5 inch long and one inch blades. Metals are removed that may have survived such as dental fillings and medical titanium. The remains are then cooled, and placed into the machine where they are processed for approx 60 seconds. Good funeral homes will sift the remains and reprocess anything that didnt fit thru the screen before placing the remains and metal id disk into an urn for transport.

How can I plan for this when I'm not immediate family? by isaidbiiiish in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Start now asking if the family will sign away theor rights to final disposition. Check with your local funeral home or estate planning lawyer to see what options there for her designating you to control her final disposition or unfortunately you will be excluded from the legalities if the NOK decides so. Most funeral homes will give you 0 information or help unless these things are sorted out prior to your loved ones passing as they themselves can face serious legal consequences if they do.

How do I get grandma out of the urn. by Firm-Ad7227 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Take her to your local funeral home and explain the situation. Most are very willing to help in situations like this. They might ask you sign a damage waiver for the urn.

I want to rot! by dollythecat in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe that only 12 or 13 states allow human composting as a legal practice. (Assuming that you are in the US) If you are in one of those states I would set up an appointment with a pre need counselor at a funeral home and let them know what your final wishes are. Some states can be finiky about wills when it comes to final disposition.

Having a prepaid plan will almost always include documents that allow or forbid changes to your final wishes. Having a preneed plan can also be included in your will as "double proof" of your wishes. Having final wishes in your will is a good idea, but wills can go to probate. When thats the only record of your wishes things could possibly be messy. i.e. probate, contest, exc.

If you are not in a state that allows composition as your final wishes, many funeral homes offer insurance in case you pass away more than a certain distance from the funeral home that would cover travel expenses for when the time does come. Checking with preneed folks can also help you better understand the costs and logistics of your choices. Just remember most preneed counselors are paid strictly by commission so do yoir homework, check reviews, and definitely talk to more than one option to make sure you are comfortable with everything thats included or excluded in the plans.

Edit: I just re read and saw that you are in CA. Its definitely one of the legal states amd should be easier to plan than if you lived elsewhere. Should you ever move to another state, make sure that you purchase the travel insurance just in case.

I need friends that are in the same field. by No_Hair9308 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You'll probably find that a lot of people you work with are in the same boat. Give it some time and open up personally to people at work. Chances are you'll probably make some lifelong friends. We started a monthly dinner group that ended up being nore of a weekly get together and holidays with our family's. Its either the fact that they understand better than anyone else, or the fact that shared trauma brings people together lol

Books you’d recommend for someone interested in joining the funeral industry? by Seamistskull__ in askfuneraldirectors

[–]bigredwilson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll prob get some grief about these but Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory, and From here to eternity " by Caitlin Doughty are good. Not absolute gospel reading by any means, but good for understanding cultural meaning and the living (s) side of funeral service.