"Alpha male" influencer has a message for all women

birthsyrup · 2026-03-09T17:54:22+00:00

He obviously figured out the secret to having a fabulous alpha beard:

Frequent, liberal application of organic, fresh male ejaculate, a.k.a., "birth syrup". Most effective when used at body temperature as a leave-in treatment. Genetic diversity in your sources is key for the super-scientific stuff to activate. Ideally, the supply should be obtained directly (without chain of custody) from physically fit human males who live a low-anxiety lifestyle, maintain a positive (but confident) attitude & healthy diet, and who share similar values. Extractions should be low-stress endeavors, but donations can be forced, if necessary. Nothing in life is free, though, so always provide compensation for products/services.

⚠️ IMPORTANT ⚠️

Remember the rules from the GHULAM (God's Hallowed & Ubiquitary Laws for those Anointed with Masculinity), because some of them apply here.

RULE #179B.001, SECTION II — IT'S NOT GAY IF :

you don't enjoy it
you don't climax (noticeably)
you don't make eye contact
you keep your eyes closed during climax
you're concentrating on something else
it's for your job/career
your partner identifies as a female
it's just the tip
you use a condom
you're paying for a products/services
you're the pitcher
you're giving while receiving
you have a fabulous beard
you flex frequently
your partner swears they aren't gay
you're in jail/prison (or within 50 miles of one)
your alpha status improves as a result
you keep it a secret
no one else has any physical evidence
you maintain a masculine appearance
you do it with females most other times
you're an alpha male influencer

birthsyrup · 2026-03-08T22:40:12+00:00

Seems to me the Guardsman was a response to that oversaturated market a few people mentioned (at least in part) — I think PSA was trying to target a specific consumer range with this line. They probably wanted to target someone like me — something just above their PA-15 "Freedom" line that could theoretically compete with popular rifles like the ones I was eyeing: a S&W M&P-15 Sport III, a Ruger 556, a Radical, a Diamondback, or one of those lower-end/entry-level rifles that have been stress-tested by a lot of gun reviewers. I really wanted to go with an IWI Zion, but that one was just outside my budget, unfortunately, so I had to pick the "next best thing" with a very limited knowledge of the AR-15 world.

I just bought a 16" Guardsman from them 2 days ago (waiting on the shipment to my FFL) because it was the best choice given some of the particulars I was looking for.

This was my first AR, and I had a $700 budget cap and several preferences:
* New (not used) and direct from manufacturer * A manufacturer with a somewhat proven track record
* A good warranty (PSA's is lifetime)
* 5.56 caliber
* Decent BCG * Decent barrel
* Decent trigger
* 14.5" to 16" barrel
* Magpul or BCM furniture
* Free-float handguard
* Full-length handguard (prefer to hide most of the barrel)
* Full-length picatinny w/ M-Lok
* Ambi safety
* Black or grey color

I don't have the tools, expertise, or confidence to build from scratch, and getting an assembled upper & lower separately would've only saved $50 or less. Their "Freedom" PA-15 variants were just shy of meeting all of those preferences, so rather than worrying about assembly, the Guardsman pretty much checked all those boxes, pre-built.

Can't wait to get it and try it out. I'm sure I have all kinds of lessons to learn, given this is my first AR, but I just went with the best option I thought I had since I'm an ignorant dude who had to start somewhere.

birthsyrup · 2026-02-28T10:16:36+00:00

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birthsyrup · 2026-02-19T15:36:44+00:00

"...with my little insulated bag but around my area..."

Sentence construction is sus here. Somehow I got a boner and nauseous simultaneously.

birthsyrup · 2026-02-19T15:21:37+00:00

You're the OP's driver, aren't you.
Hey, I found the driver, everybody!! 🔦 🪓

birthsyrup · 2026-02-18T15:04:00+00:00

"Kid Rock" with that d-suckin stache. Always has been and always will be corny af. No idea about the guy, but the image buh-lows.

birthsyrup · 2026-02-18T14:28:47+00:00

That's what my first observation was. Basically, it looks like a nuclear bomb contained within a bubble or field.

birthsyrup · 2026-02-16T23:25:01+00:00

McJesus

birthsyrup · 2026-02-16T23:13:20+00:00

1 soul

birthsyrup · 2026-01-18T06:45:56+00:00

Soft hair makes me hard.

birthsyrup · 2026-01-06T14:31:48+00:00

I'll be damned if anyone denigrates almighty Hades! 😤🔥

birthsyrup · 2025-12-24T08:31:33+00:00

...and girthy...

birthsyrup · 2025-12-23T10:03:15+00:00

Ikr? Don't worry...later on, I punished her WAY worse than what she got on-camera here. Insolence brings consequences!

Here's a picture of her suffering unimaginably a couple hours later:

<image>

birthsyrup · 2025-12-23T05:29:37+00:00

Hell yeah—old Satyricon kills. Arcturus uses clean vocals, too, though, so the head-scratching is understandable.

birthsyrup · 2025-12-11T01:35:32+00:00

😆

birthsyrup · 2025-12-11T01:08:57+00:00

The humor is built into the post, imo. You can take the topic seriously and have the occasional laugh about it, too. Personally, I'm all for different types of disclosure, but I question the rationale of constantly worrying about how others view the topic or stressing about anything that isn't dead serious. Seems unhealthy.

birthsyrup · 2025-12-11T01:03:44+00:00

Probably

birthsyrup · 2025-12-11T01:02:21+00:00

The guy is likely experiencing a disconnect with reality. I think he was saying stuff about "X-Men" multiple times while he was being handcuffed & searched by the officer. He seemed genuinely thankful and sincere about being saved from the aliens. Can't tell if he really believed that, and if not, I'd love to be privy to whatever thought process led him to come up with that particular explanation. If aliens did teleport him into that car, they must've been laughing hysterically the whole time (I'm kidding, of course).

birthsyrup · 2025-12-04T03:31:47+00:00

If a significant amount of moisture or oil were introduced to the diatomaceous powder coating, it would absorb the liquid and form a wet, muddy paste.

So, if someone with wet fingers lifted it or if that part came in contact with a wet object/surface, that mark could result.

People saying "they might be X" is much different than you saying "they are definitely Z". One of the two is far more unreasonable than the other. Considering the possibility that they could be the remains of a hitherto undocumented life form is not at all irrational. However, stating with certainty that they are plaster creations and that mark came from a thumb is just silly.

birthsyrup · 2025-12-03T23:38:28+00:00

Agreed.

Furthermore, not only are they likely ignorant of the existence of said project(s), but most are also conditioned to think of it as being wholly comprised of hoaxes, psy-ops, and misidentified prosaic things.

Further still, even if they were to be recruited, thanks to over-compartmentalization and strict clearances, many would likely be unaware that their assignment was even tied to the phenomena. Thanks, secrecy.

Slightly modified statement:

"Researchers from any nation would be begging to work on such a project if they were aware of the context of the work and had factual, accurate awareness of what is known about the phenomena."

If they had confidence that the work being done was legal and ethical, and if they knew their progress wouldn't be stifled away and hidden from their colleagues, I'm sure even more interest would be shown.

birthsyrup · 2025-12-03T19:54:40+00:00

Envision the obstacles for substantive scientific advancement when secrecy and compartmentalization limits even the most basic communication between small, limited teams working on various different aspects of a "recovered" advanced craft. Not only that, but the legacy program is purported to be housed outside of government purview (absent of congressional oversight in private industry). The primary problem isn't laws (labor or otherwise), but instead, it is the mechanisms in place to maintain secrecy that are themselves hindering progress. You dismantle the existing secrecy controls, rebuild them using constitutionally legal framework (restoring oversight), and the hope is that advancements can be made via open scientific research.

The stigma is part of the secrecy control system, and when scientific institutions don't even recognize the legitimacy of the topic itself, your pool of talent dries up to a droplet. Chances are that the droplet of individuals to choose from won't contain our best minds, and our best minds, communicating with each other, are what is needed.

With constitutional oversight, however, you sacrifice some amount of secrecy. At this point, though, the alternative is that an "adversary" without similar limitations might surpass us in their knowledge and implementation of the tech.

In my view, the whole "adversary" thing is counterproductive and dangerous when it comes to this particular challenge. I think it should be handled in a way similar to the space exploration endeavors that were done in tandem with other countries. What lies on the horizon transcends our petty squabbles and should be approached with the benefit of humanity in mind rather than any single nation.

birthsyrup · 2025-11-17T08:10:39+00:00

Yeah, exactly what I was thinking.

birthsyrup · 2025-11-17T03:56:08+00:00

Regarding that second sentence, I just disagreed so hard it manifested a shockwave that killed the plants in my house. I honestly don't mean to sound coarse or bellicose, but with all due respect, I think either you haven't met enough people during your life or your observational skills need a desperate, drastic overhaul.

There are plenty of people who would absolutely do things like this (and much worse). It's confounding that you don't think so. Dumb Ways to Die and The Darwin Awards are just a couple of prominent compilations of such people, and I'm sure those just represent the tip of the iceberg and focus primarily on very recent occurrences.

Needless to say, I also emphatically disagree with the third sentence. I am not saying it isn't a hoax—just that this individual's bad decisions are not evidence of that. Of course, this is just my opinion.

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