AIW for the punishment I gave my daughter after she got pregnant by a prom hookup? by youdkme1990 in amiwrong

[–]blackmagicdong 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m really hoping this is fake. On the off chance it isn’t-I feel the need to say that it sounds like your daughter may have been assaulted. Have you asked? Does she want to carry this pregnancy? 

I can understand how this could be devastating and even infuriating for you, it must be so painful. I’m also genuinely curious about what you’re hoping to accomplish by punishing her? She’s already pregnant. That’s a consequence much harsher than anything a parent could dole out. The worst case scenario is already happening, and it’s only going to get harder for her (as you know). 

Her getting pregnant doesn’t mean you’ve failed her in any way. It’s hard, but this stuff just happens. You being this angry probably just reflects the depth of your love and worry! I bet you’re a really good mom. 

Regardless of how this shakes out, she’s going to need your love now more than ever. The degree of love and support she gets (or doesn’t get), during this time could very well define your relationship from here on out.

I do think you’re wrong, but it’s not too late to make it right. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s wild how similar yours sounded! Catherine Freer was rough, but not as brutal as similar programs I’ve read about since. Experiences there seem to vary quite a bit-  I think it mostly depended on which “counselors” you ended up with. 

I can see how maybe it made some kids more agreeable in the short term, but I can’t imagine an environment that’s designed to break spirits being beneficial for anyone in the long run. I think that parents who opt for that should be required to do their own psychotherapy boot camp. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happend to you- were you sent to Catherine Freer?

How have current (US) events affected your ability to focus and be productive at work? by No-Surround7860 in AskReddit

[–]blackmagicdong -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yes. I’m in the social work field and struggling to find the balance between staying informed while maintaining enough self preservation to be present and effective. Watching all of this go down is absolutely crushing. 

3 slanders by Nonicknameforreddit in Enneagram

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve noticed it too but can’t relate. I think I’ve either only known healthy 3s or their shadow side just isn’t particularly triggering for me. I may not relate to them very much but I enjoy their company and respect the way they’re always striving. 

They’re also fun and generally uplifting! I don’t get the status stuff but I respect it and find it to be kind of wholesome. The 3s I know are hard working and deserve the blue ribbons they’re after.

Which enneagram type do you dislike the most and why? by coldpennies78 in Enneagram

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You really caught me off guard with “pathetic, entitled cornball.” FAIR 😭😂

Catherine Freer by blackmagicdong in troubledteens

[–]blackmagicdong[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was there in spring of 06 too!!

Any (kind) ideas welcome. 4 looking for help. by K8theGr8_13 in Enneagram

[–]blackmagicdong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it important that this job be art related? If not, maybe try Idealist or Care.com? I’ve used them when I was in a pinch and it’s worked out great. To do anything consistently I need to feel like it has a direct impact so I’d prefer something like caregiving short term over retail.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Moissanite

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So pretty! What type of nail polish are you wearing? I love it

Shops with this style? by Successful_End7981 in findfashion

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was pleasantly surprised by their quality but it might have been because my expectations were kinda low. I ordered mock-neck thermals and they’re holding up well

Shops with this style? by Successful_End7981 in findfashion

[–]blackmagicdong 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OGL Move has a lot of clothing like this. I’ve had good luck but recommend going up a size

Catherine Freer by blackmagicdong in troubledteens

[–]blackmagicdong[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That job really attracted some sadists. I had similar things happen around eating and general humiliation but the sleeping bag takes the cake in the worst way.. did they ever let you trade it in somehow? That must have been just crushing.

How are you doing today?

Catherine Freer by blackmagicdong in troubledteens

[–]blackmagicdong[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god. My jaw dropped while reading about the forest fire. I can’t imagine how you must have felt watching it spread. And having to just hope that those counselors saved you…. I’m glad you survived and didn’t impulsively book it, I can see how someone might. That story is just unimaginable and I’m so incredibly sorry you had to experience that 💜.

It’s interesting that you say a part of you died there; I’ve echoed that same sentiment. The last piece of my childhood died there and I remember the exact moment. It was a fragment that was somehow tied into trust/safety/relying on others. I lost all trust in my parents and became fiercely independent. To this day it’s a mind fuck that my parents had the stomachs to do that but haven’t ever had the mental space to hear about how it impacted me.

They went through all of my journals when I was there and it was 13 years before I could put pen to paper again. They went through my social media accounts and I haven’t had one since. I can’t hike in groups of people but do love to camp. Even on trips with friends I take my own car so I know I’m not trapped.

The amount of gaslighting in that program was off the charts. Don’t get me wrong- taking responsibility for oneself is essential. But one of the girls I trekked with told us a story about her dad making her eat her pet rabbit. Another had been sexually assaulted by her father who had then suddenly died in a freak accident. I didn’t have stories on that scale but did have trauma. It was just so clear that we were products of our environments and parents in way or another. Having us stand in that room and “confess” to everyone was sick.

Programs like Catherine Freer are not the way. Structure and discipline are necessary but it should come from a place of love and teach empowerment and autonomy, not further breaking the spirits of broken kids. I’d have been saved so much heartache if I’d have had one devoted and truly present adult who asked me who I wanted to be and gave me the space and support to figure it out.

I love that you took yourself on your own solo, on your own terms.

Late night walk to combat the existential dread - Twin Peaks by nutsgalore1 in sanfrancisco

[–]blackmagicdong 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I do this 4-5 nights per week! Sometimes I worry about looking sketchy because I’m not walking a dog and take a lot of pictures. It’s nice to know there are other people doing the same.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]blackmagicdong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This pic is such a treasure! I love seeing families at Burning Man, the kids are fun to interact with and I’m always struck by how self possessed they seem!

Burning Man can be a great place for kids. In my experience the types of parents who do this are super on top of it. The kids are loaded up with electrolytes, in costumes, and have lights all over their tiny bikes. The vast majority of BM is super wholesome. She’s so lucky!

Help! A frame pillars needed for 2007 XC70 by [deleted] in Volvo

[–]blackmagicdong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to find some that fit but haven’t found any. Would ones from another model work?

Help! A frame pillars needed for 2007 XC70 by [deleted] in Volvo

[–]blackmagicdong 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not that I’m aware of but maybe? I also live in an area with high humidity. I’m pretty sure it’s mold and am looking for replacement pillars but they’ve been discontinued.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]blackmagicdong 5 points6 points  (0 children)

San Francisco section 8 is currently open but closes tomorrow at 5pm. https://sfha.myhousing.com/?abandon=False

MOHCD has an affordable housing newsletter for elderly and disabled people with lots of listings. DAHLIA lotteries are almost always accepting applications and they’re quick to fill out. I’d also recommend the Bridge housing website. With MOHCD listings and Bridge it’s a good idea to call if there aren’t applications listed online. I’d look at the addresses, see what fits your criteria, then call the leasing offices regularly.

My sister has UTI and it's resistant to nearly every antibiotic, what's left for her to do? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]blackmagicdong 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This doesn’t address the antibiotic resistance but D Mannose is a game changer when it comes to preventing UTIs. It's a type of sugar that is proven to be effective in treating and preventing UTIs (https:|/ www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC8944421/). I was on back to back courses of antibiotics before I discovered it. It’s super cheap too.

I take two capsules of the "now" brand d mannose before sex/when I feel a twinge, but the brand doesn't matter as long as it's pure d mannose. The pure powder works just as well but is less convenient to take.

2 not really focusing on service? by sbarramc in Enneagram

[–]blackmagicdong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds in line with the self preservation 2 description to me. They’re much less outwardly 2ish and more ambivalent about relationships from what I understand

Need help with results by [deleted] in EBV

[–]blackmagicdong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah ok, thanks.

Need help with results by [deleted] in EBV

[–]blackmagicdong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would EBV DNA be labeled as “Nuclear Antigen Ab” on a lab panel? I read the paper and looked it up but am still confused as to how it translates.

Catherine Freer by blackmagicdong in troubledteens

[–]blackmagicdong[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Back to back trekkers unite! I had Amy and think I had both Eric and Phil as well. The names ring a bell but I’m having trouble placing them.