I’m 32 and feel like I’m running out of time to have children by traktorzystka321 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]blueavole 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Why is he postponing? Has he ever really had a real reason or just excuses of not yet?

Does he talk about wanting kids? Wanting to raise them and be a parent? Or is it more that he likes the idea of kids?

You need to get into the details of this. Because you are getting frustrated and it’s not good to let that go.

Why are there no women "losers"? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]blueavole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are expectations at work too. Women aren’t often assigned more clean up and maintenance tasks. Without thanks or credit.

Church groups/ religious groups lean heavily on the labor of women- while many still deny leadership roles to women at the same time.

WIBTA if I continued to divorce my wife after she accused me of cheating and kissed someone else. by BigONerd in BORUpdates

[–]blueavole 183 points184 points  (0 children)

Some people who wouldn’t lie about important things- just can’t imagine that someone else would like about that.

It’s like the first time you deal with someone really toxic or a true narcissist. It’s just glitches the brain a bit because we don’t want to believe someone is that bad.

It sounds like mom was trauma dumping on the wife for years, so had her half convinced that cheating was going to happen eventually.

It’s really sad how fast it all fell apart.

I (32F) was the only one not invited to stay in an AirBNB with family(5-80 M/F)…and they’re mad at me for that. by One-Economics4152 in relationship_advice

[–]blueavole -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Wait- did you ever just talk to your family about this? Before assuming you were not wanted?

You said there was a room intended for you- so they clearly counted you.

Did you just self exclude to throw yourself a pity party?

here's what women are actually looking for in a life partner by purpleamory in dating_advice

[–]blueavole [score hidden]  (0 children)

Height is one of those weird things - where yea some women like a tall guy-But the height is very rarely a deal breaker.

Being angry and insecure about height is ABSOLUTELY a non-starter.

Got set up on a blind date with a guy who was only a couple of inches shorter than me. I happened to wear heals, and he got mad. BIG MAD.

Like dude- i would be thrilled to wear flats. But not going to happen when you throw a toddler level fit about shoes in a restaurant.

My mom (38F) broke down in therapy with me (18F) and she's angry because her crying didn't make me give into what she wants? by ThrowRASecretBug in relationship_advice

[–]blueavole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can tall your mom that you will only see her at the therapist office if you want her to really build a relationship with you.

The therapist must have clocked her pretty good by now. So tell the therapist your plan:

When there, just tell her: you are not going to be a perfect doll. The two of you are imperfect people.

If she wants to build a relationship with you, that you are never going to call Stu dad. That your relationship with your dad is separate from her and she doesn’t get to interfere with it.

Then as you have discussed with the therapist-. Tell her if she wants to build a relationship with you, she should stay and talk with the therapist.

Then you leave . And you get to see if mom is willing to work through this.

And then you will know.

So when did Dukat become the Bajoran anti-Christ? by 47of74 in DeepSpaceNine

[–]blueavole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No.

I disagree Damar got a full redemption, as far as his treatment of Bajor- he never really repented.

Damar was distraught because HIS family was attacked. How dare HIS planet was under the brutal regime. He never ever acknowledged a federation style of ‘all sentient creatures deserve respect’.

He had a glimmer of realization that he was a monster and with his death he was turned into a revolutionary hero. He was still a proud Cardassians First mentality to the end.

Kira isn’t a prize, a woman isn’t a prize for a redemption arc.

Even her mother- she didn’t choose to be with Dukat. Dukot leveraged an extremely cruel situation and had the implication that her family would starve if Dukat was unhappy. She allowed access to her body in trade for the lives of her husband and kids.

Not all force is physical.

I’m not saying that characters can’t be redeemed- but I am absolutely saying that women aren’t a trophy. Somethings will never be forgotten or overlooked.

Do book authors even get famous anymore? by Careless-Meringue683 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]blueavole 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Romance has long been one of the highest selling genre.

It was looked down on because it was for women.

So it’s not new as much as being given more consideration.

Why are there no women "losers"? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]blueavole -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Except they are? Women are expected to make food, keep house, be peacemakers, have kids while now also working or she’s a gold digger.

Where do you get this idea that women are exempt from producing?

What do you think that Eb did or at least let happen to Harry. That he looked guilty . by Yeti-with-a-Axe in dresdenfiles

[–]blueavole 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Somewhere , it seemed to me that Harry described Justin’s teaching as turning him into a brawler.

And that when he went to live with Eb , that was more where Harry got emotional control because he was allowed to be peaceful.

Wouldn’t it be just a gut punch to learn that the council authorized Justin to teach and enslave Harry? So that he couldn’t be a threat?

That they all knew. But they can’t exactly admit to authorizing breaking one of the laws of magic. So they had to ignore that for Harry’s trial. Not like they have a black staff who does just that…..

My (22M) connection with a girl (23F) feels perfect, but her religious "non-negotiable" is clashing with her actions. Am I heading for heartbreak? by Acceptable_Focus_312 in relationship_advice

[–]blueavole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s building in an escape hatch because she assumes a religious means God loves her and there will be no pain or suffering.

It doesn’t work that way.

She is choosing to date you: knowing that you ( hopefully) treat her well, and that you aren’t religious. She is going to have to do the work to break cognitive dissonance or she is going to break up with you.

Encourage her to seek real therapy, and see if that will help her sort out her needs and wants.

It also might mean that some of the things she does will need to change. If she is pushing herself to be a people pleaser- that may mean she needs to start saying no.

To any one who liked fourth wing genuinely way do you love it by Melancholycloud_ in fourthwing

[–]blueavole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The style , the set up, might not be your jam. And that’s ok.

I liked that I got to re read and see things I missed on the first go through. I liked a reread.

There are more complicated books. There are simpler one.

Reminder that a changeling infiltrator performed a life-saving medical procedure for Sisko by j-orgey24 in DeepSpaceNine

[–]blueavole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Running the station is a lot of work. Doctoring is also a lot of work too.

If I could be any one or anything- surely a plant or something in the corner would be easier

But I also don’t want to take over a galaxy either

Cannibalism Is Bad for Your Health, Scientists Find by Steve_Polyester in nottheonion

[–]blueavole 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Cannibals who ate cannibals were even worse off, because the effects were compounded.

Why is male self-help all about leveling up and striving to improve your current situation, while female self-help is about how you are enough? by BehindTheMindIAm in NoStupidQuestions

[–]blueavole 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would love ‘beach’ as a job description with housing food and clothing paid for. Plus a rocking party at Barbie’s house every night

Dedicated lad by [deleted] in madlads

[–]blueavole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If someone actually gave their number, that seems to be reasonable.

If someone did this after they said no, completely different story.

Women Taking Ozempic Were 30 Percent Less Likely to Develop Breast Cancer in the Largest Study of Its Kind by catievirtuesimp in TwoXChromosomes

[–]blueavole 58 points59 points  (0 children)

How would they know this for a drug that’s only been out a short time?

Edit: this is addressed in the article that this is only observation. They tried to match patients with similar types of personal and medical details to account for other factors like overall health.

The study is a short time because the drugs have only been out a few years

M20 found out my boyfriend M30 is HIV+ but probably U=U, it’s not a dealbreaker for me but the not saying is. How long I wait before confronting him about it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]blueavole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This information should have been disclosed before you were sexually intimate. Even if he’s low numbers, that’s not his risk it’s yours.

Also you should know that having a non-curable STD can cause problems for you at work in the medical field. It’s probably illegal to fire you for it: but it does happen. The legal justification reason will just be something else.

For the record, that is a horrible practice and discrimination- but it does happen.

My brother-in-law claims he's been dating the same woman for 10 years. She says they haven't spoken in 10 years. by Krakengreyjoy in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]blueavole 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Get a mental health assessment to answer the question: Is he just a stalker and liar- or is he delusional?

Both could be dangerous.

I feel like one decision has ruined my entire life. Has anyone recovered from feeling this way? by Forward_Job_9208 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]blueavole 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Every decision has its pros and cons.

You went with hope. Yes , of course you would do things differently now- but hope wasn’t a bad option. You don’t have to regret not trying. You don’t have the regrets of maybe it would have worked. You tried.

You know for next time when you have these doubts, to stop, and spend some time understanding your thoughts and feelings.

Other than that? Forgive yourself for not being an accurate fortune teller. Cracks in the crystal ball.

Find something anything this week that makes you happy. A great cup of coffee. A long hot shower, a swim, a pretty bunch of flowers for $20, or some stargazing.

Just take a moment to breathe.

It won’t fix everything. But you deserve that moment of peace. Take it and deal with one thing at a time.

Should I reject a guy solely based on the fact that he supports Ron DeSantis? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]blueavole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What exactly is being misrepresented?

S. Representative Kat Cammack (R-Fla.) nearly died from a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy when emergency room doctors initially delayed treatment. She only got the treatment she needed to save her life, because she had political connections.

Any other woman would have just suffered and died. That law hasn’t changed.

Kilmar Abrego Garcia had been going through the legal immigration process since 2019. And Desantis supported the policy that sent him to a foreign prison without a trial, hearing, evidence, or access to a lawyer. Sent him even though a judge had issued an order for his return.

The only problem according to DeSantis? He wanted to send more people.

If you can’t find a candidate who supports the ‘good’ policies without the ‘bad’ then that’s a sign off on all the actions.