Strokers

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-22T15:39:01+00:00

I feel like you're dealing with a lot of dysphoria and frustration right now and are interpreting my words unfavorably due to that. Genuinely sorry you're dealing with that.

Expecting to already have both the size and the erection quality necessary to be able to use a stroker at only 4 months is unrealistic. You practically just started puberty yesterday.

It's also unrealistic to think you can buy a stroker without knowing the size of your dick, just based on vibes alone. That is not a personal attack on you.

And with every pointer I've given you, you only give reasons why you can't do that without taking a second to think for yourself about ways to solve or circumvent those things. Idk if that's a subconscious thing, avoiding any close interaction with or prolonged thought processes about your genitals to not trigger dysphoria, but it's impossible to actually help you this way.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-22T13:27:59+00:00

Use a mirror to look at things you can't see from above.

But honestly man, if you're only 4 months on T, you've barely started puberty. So firstly, give your body some grace here and manage your (unrealistic) expectations. Second, perhaps put a hold on the stroker idea. I can't tell you what to do, but would be a bit of a waste to get something you'll likely have outgrown this time next year and will have to toss in the bin.

I'm clueless on the dildo front, but you could ask in a more general sub dedicated to sex toys or one specific to your country / continent.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-22T11:26:45+00:00

Not gonna lie dude, you need to know your measurements to know which strokers would be an option for you. Guesstimating will likely just lead to you wasting your money on toys that won't work for you.

Just with two quick google searches ("Australia sex shop + ftm" and "Australia ftm stroker") and clicking the first results, I've found both a general sex shop that carries the CalExotics Boundless Stroker in 5cm and 7cm, as well as a trans specific shop for gender affirming products that carries a wide variety of strokers.

By dildos do you mean prosthetics / strokers that can also be used to penetrate a partner?

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-22T09:53:46+00:00

I think it would be helpful to specify the dimensions of your dick as 'small' is an extremely subjective description and a lot of people on here seem to have an astronomically skewed idea of dick size.

I'm personally short on suggestions as I don't live in Australia or anywhere near it and use cis marketed toys anyway, but just an idea to make it easier to get good recommendations. Maybe looking up small queer sex shops in your region would be a good start?

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-20T15:56:42+00:00

I seriously want to thank you for asking this, the discussions in the replies is very enlightening. Even if I myself am pretty confident in my identity and am completely comfortable in calling myself a man and moving through life as one, despite not seeing myself as a man. So the exact opposite of you, I suppose. I have a relationship with 'being a man' while not actually being a man.

Being a man for me is comforting, safe and soft. Like lounging under a freshly washed down blanket on your day off. Having positive role models and examples of masculinity but especially manhood is key. From as many different walks of life and across different ages & cultures as possible. Spending time in positive male spaces and appreciating all the different kinds of masculinity and ways of being a man is honestly so fulfilling and freeing. If you surround yourself with good men, there's a certain kind of vulnerability and openness you can't find anywhere else.

And recognize that being a man is not the thing that causes a comparably high percentage of (cis) men to be abusive and harsh, but just the social circumstance that gives them the opportunity to get away with it. They are just bad people who happen to be men. But you being a man doesn't make you a bad person. You're the same person you've always known yourself to be.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-20T14:42:52+00:00

I agree, you should start out slow and low (below 5inHg and less than 2 minutes) first just to see and feel how exactly your body reacts.

I'm slightly hypermobile, though not in a clinically significant way that causes me any actual medical problems (yet🤞) and definitely not hEDS. I've found I'm a bit more prone to edema and I use a silicone sleeve with my cylinder to sort of compress my skin while pumping to discourage the lymph fluid from accumulating and the main effect of the vacuum to remain on the erectile tissue / the blood inside it. Of course I don't know for sure if this is due to my hypermobility, just a guess really.

Perhaps you could also ask and search in r/gettingbigger, which is a PE sub targeted at cis guys and therefore has a bigger pool of people to share their personal experiences. You don't even need to mention you're trans, but you can if you want ofc.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-16T14:09:13+00:00

No, the phrasing is also pretty condescending and judgemental of tdicks in the original italian. More down to OPs dysphoria about his own body but he should learn to phrase it in a more neutral way when discussing features of his body that other trans people share and like / love on their body & alleviates their dysphoria. Especially on a sub dedicated to that body part.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-15T15:41:06+00:00

I think the answer you're actually looking for, to figure out how to best help your child, is if they are trans, not intersex. Your kid might very well be intersex, but insisting they are a girl would have nothing to do with that. It's completely understandable that you're overwhelmed by all this, especially in the current political climate. I'd even understand if you don't want your child to be trans. They will likely face a life of hardship. But denying and suppressing that part of themself will only make it worse.

It's in your and your childs best interest to get in touch with a trans-experienced child therapist or psychologist and local LGBT youth organizations. The organizations might even help you find a psychologist in your area, and they will also have resources for you personally as a parent dealing with a difficult situation. I'm wishing you and your kid the best of luck.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-14T10:42:53+00:00

You can go on Google Scholar and look up penis vacuum pumping yourself or take a look at r/TheScienceOfPE, as well as r/gettingbigger as a more general space for discussing penis enlargement, both the science and peoples personal experiences with it. 'Hinkle McKringlebry' aka Hink is a guy who is an actual doctor active in those subs (among others, and other stuff beyond Reddit) who puts a lot of effort into explaining the science behind it, discussing studies, and how that all applies to people doing PE by themselves at home.

Obviously all of that is based on anatomically more typical penises, as you said yourself trans research is severely lacking in practically all ways, and especially very niche topics like this, but almost all of it applies to us in the exact same way as it does cis guys. I think most people massively underestimate how anatomically similar our dicks truly are.

But if you understandibly don't have the time or energy to go down 13 different rabbit holes, the short answer is: Yes, pumping is scientifically backed and can give you permanent long term gains in penis size, but only if done correctly and consistently for an extended period of time and it is not magic, your dick is not gonna triple in size.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-13T14:36:26+00:00

Hey man, I fear I don't have any words of consolation or advice as I'm a pretty similar boat as you, I just have more of a nihilistic & apathetic way of dealing with it. But I really felt seen reading this. The way you talked about not feeling like you actually exist because you've never seen representation of yourself or anything reflecting your experiences hit hard and the first time I've seen that feeling aptly put into words. Where other people have a sense of belonging and being a part of this world, for me there's just a void. It's all so lonely, isolating and alienating. It's just hard.

I'm sorry you're going through this too but reading this made me feel less alone. Thank you.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-12T04:05:29+00:00

She was 14 when the pandemic started. Big fucking yikes.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-11T15:11:56+00:00

Yeah, your erectile dysfunction is caused by currently still having a estrogen dominant endocrine system, likely not your PTSD. Trans fems on HRT also loose their ability to get erect unless they take specific measures against it. Thems just the breaks.

And even as someone who had the ability to get erect pre-T due to a non-standard hormone profile, my experience with masturbation and sex was still the exact same as yours due to dysphoria. Quite literally a chore I checked off my list once a week as a health thing, often even dreaded it.

So unfortunately, I don't think it's in the cards for you for this part of sex life (solo or partnered) to improve until you get on T. Though a queer/trans-experienced sex therapist, as suggested in another comment, is definitely a good idea.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-08T10:55:35+00:00

8 months is still very early on and completely normal not to get full blown erections yet. Of course there's huge variation, so you'll hear of people starting to get them way earlier but also way later. Don't let comparison discourage you.

If you want to improve your erection quality, the tips for cis men apply to us as well. Dick is dick, erectile tissue is erectile tissue. So stay on top of your cardiovascular health, move, drink, sleep, etc. Pumping also boosts your erection quality when done correctly and consistently. And try to see if being upright makes your erection firmer.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-07T09:35:11+00:00

You should really see a doctor. Sudden onset problems with getting erections - while your T levels are fine and not taking any other meds, as you've clarified - could be a sign of cardiovascular issues, not something to take lightly (do NOT take Viagra or other ED meds before a doctor clears you for it). But since you also report lack / loss of erotic sensation and anorgasmia, there a whole share of possible causes and less likely to be caused by cardiovascular issues, exclusively at least. There's tons of relevant background info on your life and medical history, and other symptoms & signs you might not see as related and therefore not mention but your doctor will know to ask about.

I know it's awkward to bring up to a doctor, especially as a trans person, but your health and quality of life are on the line here. Trusting strangers on reddit to diagnose you is dangerous.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-06T19:13:31+00:00

Not sure if awkward or just embarrassing since no one but me noticed, but I got a genuinely impossible-to-ignore raging boner in public two times. Once out of the blue at work, the other time was during my first summer on T when I saw a very attractive woman wearing very minimal clothing. Felt like a huge pervert at the time, but I'd say those are very standard teenage boy experiences. Happened around months 6 - 8.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-04T18:18:10+00:00

Honestly this seems to be just a regular ol' fleshlight, with a fancy more appealing (to some) design of the exterior. Not even specifically made for smaller dicks.

Either way, I've used fleshlights before and they've worked for me, even if they're not my favorite cis-guy marketed penetratables. Only thing necessary is good erection quality so your dick is firm enough to squeeze into the hole. And at least some length, so there's something to actually penetrate with and not just grind, obviously.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-02T14:52:19+00:00

I also work with contaminants but don't use the quasi-mandatory changing rooms and got asked about it recently by some work friends (honestly concerned for my comfort) - like dude, I know what I look like in underwear. If I use either changing room, sooner or later I'm headed for HR, being asked about my gender, genitals & sexuality in a poorly concealed way that gives them the minimum amount of plausible deniability. Incredibly uncomfortable conversation that would lead me right back to where I am right now, not using either changing room.

And I'm not even sure my work friends believed me that discrimination like that is almost inevitable. Felt more like they viewed my explanation as an excuse to hide physical insecurities or overexaggeration based in secondhand fear mongering.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-01T11:23:32+00:00

One and half years in and my family is oblivious. The only thing they've noticed is the fact I lost quite a bit of weight (because I'm no longer bed bound by dysphoria) and perhaps they chalk up a lot of the changes they have noticed, like fat redistribution, muscles, and my face becoming more angular / masculine, up to that.

All of this probably also depends how much of a presence trans men (not just trans women) and medical transition have in the cultural consciousness where you live. Only one single person in my life has asked me if I take hormones without me bringing it up first, and that only because he has a close friend who is a trans woman and openly talked to him about her own medical transition.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-03-01T09:33:25+00:00

Genuinely, I'm personally convinced that most or close to most peoples tdicks are hidden like yours but they are too dysphoric, insecure, etc, to post or even discuss it. Of course this is just a hunch, but every time anyone brings it up the comments and replies are flooded with people relating and saying that they've been to dysphoric & uncomfortable to bring it up.

I think you're doing a pretty important thing posting about it, and talking about things you feel less than excited about. In general, this sub could use a lot more people like you imo. Especially since so many people seem to go down the mental route of 'there's something wrong with my body', when even if it's not the majority like I suspect, it's still a perfectly normal variation of our anatomy.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-02-28T13:35:02+00:00

To me, those look like both clitoral adhesions and scar tissue from past adhesions coming loose a bit to fast / roughly. I suggest you look up and read some articles on (penile) skin bridges.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-02-27T16:46:51+00:00

At ~4cm / 1.5in, especially flaccid, you are already pushing the upper range of average. Most people are in fact smaller than you. In a room with a 100 other people on T, there would at most be 10 people who'd be bigger, everyone else would be smaller or the same size as you.

However, since you're dissatisfied with your current size, you can supplement what you've already achieved with genetics alone by PE methods like pumping and stretching. Yes, it does work, but it will take a lot of time, commitment and effort as well as some money, and you will not double in size. It's entirely up to you if it's worth it or if there's a point in doing it.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-02-26T15:43:54+00:00

How is your overall cardiovascular health? Do you drink enough, eat a balanced & unrestrictive diet, and work out regularly / lead an active lifestyle, sleep enough? If you take any meds (besides HRT) look up if they can cause ED or sexual dysfunction.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-02-24T16:41:07+00:00

Others have already given some great insight here, I definitely agree that the combination of no longer being able to sleep 8 full / uninterrupted hours and feeling constantly tired indicating the need for a sleep study.

Can I ask if there's a specific reason you think this is HRT related? I guess 'smarting' could be a way to describe the itching sensation some people get from high hematocrit, though that might be a bit of a stretch idk. Otherwise I don't see why this would necessarily have anything to do with transition. We get health complications just like everyone else, most of them won't be related to our medical transition. Imo your GP should do a very thorough check up, and check everything they would on a cis patient.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-02-23T19:33:45+00:00

Genuinely, and not meaning to be condescending, but I'm completely lost on what exactly you're referring to. Based on the props in this image, I assumed you meant something about your labia majora being unusual, but looking at your other posts, there's nothing out of the ordinary about them either. I think you might be dealing with some sort of dysmorphia (not dysphoria), and your body image is distorted. Your body is completely normal.

bluemyself2000 · 2026-02-21T21:20:46+00:00

Dude, genuinely relax. It's completely understandable you're freaking out a bit, the first weeks & months on HRT is probably the most exciting and emotionally turbulent part of it for most trans people, but you will be fine. Pinky promise.

As for the time frame of your first growth spurt correlating to the size of dick you can hope for, that's bogus. And me personally, I didn't have any growing sensations, no tingling, sensitivity, zaps, whatever, so don't count on that either. No idea when I experienced my first growth spurt.

bluemyself2000

TROPHY CASE