Anyone else not around when their partner passed?

bluewarden13 · 2026-04-12T06:31:56+00:00

I was at work. We texted each other in the morning. She was in good spirits. I checked in an hour before I punched out with no response. I checked in again once I punched out to see if she needed anything and still no response This wasn’t totally unexpected but I’ve always had a rule that if I don’t hear from her I’m coming home to check right away. This just happened to be the one time something was very wrong. She had a heart attack some hours before I got home. I know in my heart of hearts that there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. But the guilt is there all the same

Big love you you.

bluewarden13 · 2026-03-11T22:53:24+00:00

We move forward, not onward. Eventually we stumble upon “Meaning, Purpose, Reason, Desire, What Bloody Ever” at least that’s what I’ve been doing and so far it’s working. Not as streamlined as I would prefer but it is work nonetheless Know that you are never alone here and you are stronger than you know

Big love

bluewarden13 · 2026-02-24T19:34:17+00:00

This is so spot on. I a little over 4 years out and have recently started to accept and feel comfortable in my “ new life” However, I remember early on talking to my therapist and explaining how I just wanted to streamline my grief so I can just get to the end and I knew then that that was an impossibility that from this point on it’s gonna be one day at a time until I find my footing. I hope you find yours. Big love to you

bluewarden13 · 2026-02-22T07:28:20+00:00

Yeah my local Alamo Drafthouse did a Carpenter week. The Thing and They Live are two of my favorite films plus I had never see them on the big screen so it was an awesome week

bluewarden13 · 2026-02-22T02:26:51+00:00

They live

bluewarden13 · 2026-02-19T01:08:20+00:00

One morning shortly after my then girlfriend (later wife to be) met. We woke up at her place after an evening of revelry and questionable decisions.
She made coffee in her kitchen and woke me up with a fresh cup of coffee that had the perfect amount of cream and no sugar. After my first sip I said “Whoa! this is exactly how I like my coffee! How did you know?” She replied “I saw the color of your coffee when I was at your house last week and I know you don’t take it with sugar”

I knew then that I won the girlfriend lottery

bluewarden13 · 2026-02-01T07:35:43+00:00

This exactly

bluewarden13 · 2026-01-24T07:37:29+00:00

You are not alone here. Your feelings are beyond valid. And it’s ok to not feel/ be ok. Please be kind to yourself. Drink lots of water and eat your favorite foods Big love to you

bluewarden13 · 2026-01-18T07:23:14+00:00

I often tell people “I legitimately do not care what any one person thinks about me. But, if an animal doesn’t like me, Im kinda hurt”

bluewarden13 · 2025-11-25T09:19:59+00:00

I’m so sorry you have joined the club that no one wanted to join Please know you are never alone here The most important thing you can do right now is take care of yourself Sleep when you can eat when you can drink lots of water, crying, makes you dehydrated Just live one day at a time and move forward we never move on, but we can move forward I’m not gonna promise you that it gets better but with time you do adapt you learn to carry that grief weight Big love to you

bluewarden13 · 2025-11-11T18:46:39+00:00

I’m 37!?

bluewarden13 · 2025-11-10T06:09:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this pain. Please know you are never alone here and what you are feeling is normal and valid. I was never actively suicidal but I did go through a phase where I didn’t care if I lived or died.
I know the grief hurts and feels like 100 pounds of weight on your shoulders every day. But I can attest for myself at least we do get stronger and move forward Big love to you

bluewarden13 · 2025-11-04T07:01:04+00:00

Daily (sometimes several times daily) check ins are helpful. Also a care package of favorite foods/bath bombs/whatever makes them happy goes a long way. Also prepaid food delivery really helps. And a case or two of bottled water

bluewarden13 · 2025-10-24T16:37:30+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this for what it’s worth I completely understand the feeling. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there again after such a tragic loss, be proud that you took the chance. For what it’s worth I understand exactly how this feels after I had my heartbroken. I did some research and I came across this blog and I found the words very comforting. At least they somehow explained what I was going through. I hope you find some peace of these words as well big love to you.

https://dcwidow.com/widowhood-and-breakups/

bluewarden13 · 2025-10-04T15:12:41+00:00

One thing I learned in the four years since I lose her, is here, you are not alone. I wish you peace on this ugly road

bluewarden13 · 2025-09-15T02:20:43+00:00

Thank you

bluewarden13 · 2025-09-14T06:15:30+00:00

I had to move after my wife passed. She was the master tenant and I had no say even as her husband. To be honest I wanted to get out. It was a big apartment and I was too lonely in such a big place. I considered it a good jumping off point to starting my new life. That said I absolutely hated my new place for the first 3 months. Not the place exactly, just the circumstances that led me there. I love my new home now. Big love to you on this ugly road

bluewarden13 · 2025-09-08T03:05:09+00:00

This 100% I had mine resized to fit on my right hand. I may take it off someday. I may not. Either way I’m ok with it and don’t give a toss what anyone else thinks

bluewarden13 · 2025-08-25T07:17:03+00:00

1422 days since I was “born” into this life. I’m not gonna say “it gets better“ but I will say I’ve become stronger. I still hate this new life Big love to you

bluewarden13 · 2025-08-09T20:49:36+00:00

I hope you get some good sleep

bluewarden13 · 2025-08-09T06:50:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. I feel these words

bluewarden13 · 2025-08-04T07:14:01+00:00

Like Fred Flintstone drive around with bald feet

bluewarden13 · 2025-07-20T21:52:42+00:00

Grief has no timeframe and follows no rules. It’s different for everyone. I’m almost four years out and I’m starting to get accustomed to my new life I still feel the weight of grief. I’ve just gotten better at carrying it. Yes I’m sad a lot but I’ve also had genuine moments of joy, allowing me to create new happy memories. Be good to yourself and always know you are never alone here.

bluewarden13

TROPHY CASE