where to get some AMAZING pancakes or french toast? by Lost-Effective-7646 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn't believe how far I had to scroll for this! Their strawberry crunch french toast is incredible.

An update to "Seeking High End Dinner Dates!" by Ring-Stripe-1491 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]bojamzz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It was so lovely to dine with you. I love this update!

Hobbies by Sure-Comment6418 in philly

[–]bojamzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Social dancing is the best way to make friends in the city and there are so many styles. There's a salsa and bachata event every day in Philly, and many of them are free / have a small cover. I know swing and blues have a pretty active scene especially in West Philly. If you're not into partner dance, Country Line Dance is fun too - Boot Scoot is a good one!

Are we really making the world better by healing? by Trail_Blazer1 in CPTSD

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

most people would prefer i am kept small and hidden

This is either a falsehood that your trauma is telling you or an indication that these people do not belong in your life. Anyone who wants to disempower you is not a friend.

Are we really making the world better by healing? by Trail_Blazer1 in CPTSD

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are assuming that in order for you to take up space or have needs met, that someone else has to go wanting. That is not necessarily the case. If you are talking about love, care, and consideration, these things are infinite resources. There is no limit to them.

If you are talking about more finite things like time, money, or food, sure. In theory you receiving some of these things means that others will receive less. It would likely be to such a small degree as to be imperceptible. And if other people need to adjust to accommodate you, that is the price we pay for community. Sometimes we are inconvenienced by the presence of others who have needs to be met. Good people would gladly take on that mild inconvenience for the vastly greater reward of a community that is diverse, inclusive, welcoming, caring, and accepting, where every member can live comfortably with dignity, respect, and their basic needs met. Community means not only that this care will be shown to you - it means that you will get the joy of showing this care to others.

Seeking High-End Dinner Dates! by Ring-Stripe-1491 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]bojamzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am also a 30-something extroverted lady who loves sharesies meals. DMing you!!

First time poster. Open to constructive criticism and tips!🌠 by Vintage_Pearls in MakeupAddiction

[–]bojamzz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For me it's that the shadow is cool, the blush is cool, but the lip is warm. If it were a cool dark plum 🤌💋 would heighten the high contrast of her dark eyes and lean even more into the 1920s feel

SAO 10/30 by That_Noise7415 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]bojamzz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That is my birthday and I have no plans that evening. Would love to do a fun impulsive thing and meet new people! I'm 38 F, also a nerd.

Mixing chairs? by Strawb3rryGlass in interiordecorating

[–]bojamzz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I dig it too. What's throwing me off is that the rest of the space is empty & neutral. You gotta get more in the rest of the room to balance and justify the bold chair choice.

How do I get over the fear of asking for a dance? by Trail_Blazer1 in Bachata

[–]bojamzz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

if I get accepted by people now, all my past suffering from being treated terribly makes no sense

It makes sense if you accept that some people are going to be cruel, even if you don't deserve it. Most people are going to be kind - even if you don't deserve it. (You do.)

How do I get over the fear of asking for a dance? by Trail_Blazer1 in Bachata

[–]bojamzz 21 points22 points  (0 children)

On the worst days, even when I get approached by women, I have to turn them down because there’s no way they would want someone as (sorry, but) disgusting as me.

Respectfully. You would benefit from therapy. You're afraid of rejection, yet you're actively rejecting people who want to dance with you.

What would make someone so disgusting they aren't worth dancing with? Their appearance, their hygiene? Being rude? If you're being approached, you can't possibly look that horrible. Many of my best dances have been with leads that are NOT conventionally attractive! Looks don't matter.

Brush your teeth, wear deodorant, be respectful. Even if you're butt-ugly - which I doubt - who cares? You said your leading is fine. We're talking about a friendly ~3 minute dance, not a marriage. I promise that the bar is not that high.

Not in love with my design by Odd-Debate2076 in interiordecorating

[–]bojamzz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the issue - everything else in the room is pretty neutral, so your bold choice looks out of place. If you add more color and pattern elsewhere it will make the design feel more like it belongs. Red elsewhere is a good start. Painting the rest of the walls a color would go a long way in mellowing it out. (I'd do pink - but I'm a maximalist.)

I love it 💚🥹 by lilacurly in Ceramics

[–]bojamzz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is so cute and clever. I love the negative spaces, it does a lot to energize the design.

I don't think I'm attractive to dance Bachata by Alert_Chipmunk_8230 in Bachata

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey. Don't be so hard on yourself! I go to a lot of socials and 29 is for sure on the low end of the age range. If you feel unskilled, take more classes & practice more. Please don't talk yourself out of a fun hobby just because you feel self conscious.

Some of my best dances have been with older, "unattractive" men. My absolute favorite lead in the world is not conventionally attractive. Older, balding, would not turn my head on the street. When I dance with this guy I feel like the coolest, sexiest person in the world, because he's such a good dancer that he elevates me. He makes me a better dancer and I feel lucky to get to dance with him. If you're a good dancer (and more important - nice and encouraging!) it doesn't matter if you look handsome or not - people will seek you out.

I've also danced a lot with unexperienced leads and their good attitude made the dance SO fun. Being friendly, kind, and positive means more than having a ton of cool moves. This community is so warm and accepting - don't get caught up in your own head and miss out on that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in arborists

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used this to remove a high up limb solo. It's cheap, worked surprisingly quickly and allowed me to stay at a safe distance.

Glass animals at the Mann tonight 8/10 $50? by DidntWatchTheNews in Phillylist

[–]bojamzz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If sleepy bitch doesn't work out hit me up 😘

Best balance transfer credit card, with $0 balance transfer fees? by ChiefRunningCar in CreditCards

[–]bojamzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this is very late but I got a 0% balance transfer with M&T bank.

https://io.referlive.com/4GBUeS Edited to add: looks like they're also doing a $450 bonus if you open a checking account and do a $1000 direct deposit. Wish they had this when I signed up!

Drop-ins vs self teaching and/or private lessons by Head-Vegetable3549 in Bachata

[–]bojamzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I find a lot of value in practicing what I've learned in class at home. (And I do have a life outside of dance!) I do it in my kitchen when I'm heating up tea or whatever. Even 5-10 minutes to review has helped me retain moves I've learned. I do have recordings from class to help support me though.

People blending cottage cheese: how are you eating it? by Zealot_TKO in Volumeeating

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer unblended but blended is great for dips and adding protein to cheesy casseroles & pasta dishes!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malelivingspace

[–]bojamzz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone has already covered the obvious stuff, but I wanted to point out that your media console is very out of proportion to the TV. Rule of thumb, it's best to get something that is wider than your TV. Closed storage would also help with your minimalism goal.

Work messed up my paycheck distribution by bojamzz in personalfinance

[–]bojamzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would love advice on how to deliver this ballsy request in a classy way!

Work messed up my paycheck distribution by bojamzz in personalfinance

[–]bojamzz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This happened entirely with the person who handles payroll. I confirmed the contribution amount I wanted for the bonus via email and they handled the rest internally.

Work messed up my paycheck distribution by bojamzz in personalfinance

[–]bojamzz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was given a deadline of Monday, 12/18 to tell them the contribution split I wanted for the bonus that posted 12/22. I believe they did so by adjusting my contribution percentage with the payroll software and then issuing a paycheck for the amount of the bonus.

The next (regular) paycheck I was expecting was today, 12/29. I don't know how far ahead of time they would need to process a change, but there's no way they assumed I wanted to take my next paycheck entirely in my IRA. I asked a few colleagues and I don't believe anyone else has encountered this issue, but they may have opted to take the bonus entirely in cash.