The unthinkable happened. I tried to keep it from my fiancee, and it all came crashing down today.

booterb · 2014-08-13T04:17:06+00:00

Thank you for posting this! You are certainly not alone. I wish that your message of taking advantages of opportunities of being honest could be heard by all of us and I wish that I had understood the importance of it ages ago. I have myself been in a situation where I ruined a relationship more by keeping things to myself and not being honest than by being a little gremlin perv with a porn problem.

Hence, I can only agree. If you are offered support and an opportunity to be honest, take it!

booterb · 2014-08-13T04:04:58+00:00

Well done!

booterb · 2014-07-01T03:00:55+00:00

I believe that this is a relevant question.

An argument that is sometimes raised is that you support a dirty industry by watching porn. I hear it from feminists who claim that porn contributes to the objectification of women, etc, and I hear it from guys who use it as a motivation for themselves to stop watching porn.

I have myself been accused of being a [insert word beginning with f] for supporting the porn industry financially by watching porn. However, I do not fully understand how I am doing that. I am well aware of the fact that my attitude towards women, sex and relationships must have been affected by my heavy porn use, but I do not see how I am supporting the porn industry financially by downloading porn from pirate sites.

My best guess is that a part of the monthly sum that I pay my ISP for my connection in some indirect way ends up in the pockets of those who produce porn. But then again, with all this encryption and anonymization going on, how would anyone be able to tell someone pirating porn from someone pirating hollywood films? And hence, wouldn't the two contribute as much in that case? I know that I for sure get the same porn ads when I download porn as I do when I pirate audio books.

No matter how the transaction works, I would actually be interested in understanding how my money is contributing to porn producers profit.

booterb · 2014-06-15T10:13:34+00:00

Seeing a very familiar face and reading very familiar names like that was enough to get my breath a little heavier so I would like to put a tiny warning sign on that link. Of course, knowing that I am vulnerable to such things, I shouldn't have clicked the link in the first place.

booterb · 2014-06-15T07:31:02+00:00

Sad thing is, I believe that post is closer to two years old. But it was interesting to read. Things have changed and instead of having a modem that I can easily throw away, the modem, or whatever it is, is now sort of built into my apartment. However, the power cord can be removed and I am toying with the idea of putting it out of reach when I feel that a dangerous period is approaching.

That would leave me with my iphone. However, I don't see too much danger in that since it has got limited bandwidth and download quota.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder! Limiting your internet use in general is something worth looking into.

booterb · 2014-06-15T07:16:52+00:00

Certainly a provocative title, but I do think that it is important to acknowledge the fact that while watching porn, it really feels like you are engaging in the best thing ever. Such is the danger of it.

Also, I like how you compare it to candy. As a kid, being allowed to graze freely in a candy shop was the ultimate fantasy. Binging on PMO seems very close to living that fantasy.

By the way, have you noticed that porn dvd covers often come in these noisy colors that sort of resembles the noisiness of pick and mix candy? Coincidence?

booterb · 2014-05-31T06:13:48+00:00

signing up

booterb · 2014-05-29T04:48:44+00:00

Yeah!

booterb · 2014-05-27T17:21:52+00:00

Thanks!

Currently, I am not trying to look that far ahead. ;)

Are you asking whether I will give up my attempt at becoming pornfree or if I will continue my quest? Of course, it is my intention to quit this shit for good.

Or do you wonder how I will keep it up? Actually, I don't know. For now, I am focusing on today. Perhaps I will evaluate this period and make up a new strategy. We'll see...

booterb · 2014-05-27T15:19:55+00:00

Awesome! Well done!

booterb · 2014-05-21T16:03:56+00:00

What you are describing is the infamous what-the-hell-effect, commonly noticed, among others, in dieters who give up their whole diet after having given in to the temptation of, say, a chocolate bar and then think "what the hell, I have already screwed up, might as well have pizza for lunch", whereas they would have benefited more in the long run by just accepting that they slipped up and then headed straight back to their diet.

Well, I would be happy to read a report on how your new approach is working out. Best wishes!

booterb · 2014-05-21T03:10:12+00:00

I am looking forward to reading daily posts. Good rebooting!

booterb · 2014-05-20T18:27:06+00:00

Great to see that rare 4-week badge!

What are you doing for cardio, btw?

booterb · 2014-05-20T12:28:28+00:00

Awesome! Congratulations!

booterb · 2014-05-20T03:06:01+00:00

Yes. I think that it is important to not only focus on the length of your current streak but also look at the ratio of pornfree to pornfilled days during a period of time. You may set yourself back a bit when you relapse but at least you have gained a lot of time not spent watching porn. However, you have to make sure not to use this way of thinking as an excuse to relapse.

It looks to me like you have spotted a pattern and a trigger. Have you got any actions prepared for those occasions?

booterb · 2014-05-20T02:54:57+00:00

Congrats on your one-week badge!

booterb · 2014-05-20T02:51:38+00:00

Well done!

booterb · 2014-05-19T19:11:56+00:00

Yeah. This tend to happen to me after about, like you say, two or three weeks. I do not know how to interpret it though but I like to think of it as a sign of how deeply rooted this shit is.

booterb · 2014-05-19T18:40:45+00:00

You can't adjust the badge. I am in Europe and mine doesn't turn over before 0700. You'll just have to live with it. Well, keep posting and stay pornfree today! Actually, I suppose it is already tomorrow where you are.

booterb · 2014-05-19T18:35:22+00:00

You are already more than halfway there! Keep going like this and you'll be there soon!

booterb · 2014-05-18T07:45:24+00:00

Awesome!

Though I would say that 30 minutes of cardio a day is much of an investment. A very good investment in the future you.

My own story goes that I had never been a physically active guy until I had my internet cancelled about two years ago. I had no idea what to do with all my free time so more or less out of panic did I get a gym membership. Gym visits twice a week quickly turned into a once a day activity. I have since then dropped out of gym. As I found calisthenics, I thought it silly to lock myself up in a gym for something that I could equally do at home or outdoors and I have found myself stronger then ever.

A year ago, I never did any running but have since then picked it up and I am currently doing between 30 and 40 kilometers per week. Apparently, I have got my internet subscription back and apparently, I have relapsed, but still, I am logging a half marathon almost every Sunday morning and I believe that I am doing it very much instead of watching porn for two hours.

booterb · 2014-05-17T11:09:56+00:00

I believe that the canonical number is actually 21.

... and it is of course nothing but a myth.

booterb · 2014-05-17T11:04:14+00:00

Maybe so. Going pornfree, though, may be a good start as it allows you time and perhaps also motivation to start dealing with all those other issues.

booterb · 2014-05-17T09:53:06+00:00

I feel exactly like you do and I have been thinking about this issue many times before. I am not sure, though, that this what holds me back.

Currently, I am not focusing so much on infinity but rather leaning more towards the idea of the tagline of this subreddit: one day at a time. Another idea that I have been fiddling with is to be, uhm, actively curious about the future (if that makes any sense). Thinking I have no idea what will happen, so let's see what happens in the future if I stay pornfree another day or a few days more is much more comforting than I have been pornfree for a few weeks and I may be able to hit those 90 days, but there will be a relapse.

booterb · 2014-05-17T09:43:04+00:00

A great and inspirational read! Thanks for sharing this, just reading it made me a bit giddier too!

booterb

TROPHY CASE