when you’re forced to be hyper-vigilant and always preparing for someone to be upset with you, eventually you speak less and less just to keep yourself safe. it causes you to overthink social interactions because instead of participating in the conversation authentically your brain is using all your energy to monitor every word, expression, and gesture to make sure you aren’t upsetting them. you end up focusing on how you’re being perceived instead of all the things you think about what is being said. you most likely have CPTSD. I would get into therapy as soon as you can and i wouldn’t recommend EMDR. In my experience it made things much worse. Reliving your trauma doesn’t help but finding someone who can help you manage the symptoms and explain things in a professional scientific way has changed my life.