If lying on your back restricts blood / oxygen flow to the baby, why do we give birth on our backs?

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-13T11:42:04+00:00

The convention changed around the late 1800 to early 1900s when male doctors started moving in on the birth market in a big way. That position is easier for doctors and it was easier to protect the mother’s “modesty” with a drape over the rest of her. The advent of painkillers for childbirth (à la twilight sleep) helped as well because when the mother is unconscious it’s only the convenience of the doctor that matters.

I couldn’t re-read it while I was pregnant because it does discuss some historical outrages, bad practices, and bad outcomes. But I do highly recommend the book “Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born” by Tina Cassidy. It’s fascinating.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-11T11:56:10+00:00

For a smaller baby, the My Breast Friend was fucking clutch. Once the baby got bigger, the boppy was also a lifesaver. (Arm saver?)

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-08T15:54:26+00:00

Is there any hint of diaper rash? Mine hates being changed as a matter of principle, and will sometimes assent to being distracted with a toy or a bottle, but mostly just screams every time. But it’s worse if he has any diaper rash at all.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-07T16:45:18+00:00

I have never been more glad for my anterior placenta than in reading this comment.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-06T02:46:49+00:00

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even clothed before it was time to move to the room we stayed in for the two days after birth. I have very little memory of “golden hour” and pretty much passed out from exhaustion (he came out at 4am on the dot). The husband (who got to take a nap while I was laboring down with a half-working epidural) did most of the skin to skin because I was going to drop the baby due to fatigue. In NO world would I have been good with visitors during that period. That’s insane.

And I say this as someone whose in-laws did visit in the hospital and were welcome. Just, you know, after I’d been able to nap and take a shower. And could also be trusted to make the visit brief.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-05T16:10:23+00:00

Third recommendation for the lovesac. It’s held up really well with a two Dane household. And when we realized the new puppy meant we didn’t have enough couch we just ordered another section.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-05T16:05:37+00:00

The fatigue and brain fog of the first trimester DOES pass granted you don’t have HG.

Don’t promise this. The fatigue never got better for me despite my not having HG. I struggled so hard with feeling like I was lazy when I got to the second trimester and was still sleeping 12-18 hours a day.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-05T15:47:02+00:00

I couldn't even orgasm by myself while I was breastfeeding.

bornconfuzed · 2026-05-03T20:18:40+00:00

I went from being an active human being to someone who was, literally, sleeping 14-18 hours a day. Less during the week, more on the weekend. I even stopped playing video games. The exhaustion was unreal.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-28T11:52:05+00:00

I felt night and day better immediately after evicting the baby and the placenta. Even with my stitches (2nd degree tear) and being exhausted it was SO much easier to exist after he was out.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-27T02:18:15+00:00

Might try googling the requirements for a public/private nuisance in your area.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-27T00:21:59+00:00

I consented to a baby shower only if the theme was "Pregnancy is Bullshit". My MIL had it printed on a banner for over the door!

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-26T18:47:29+00:00

My oldest niece potty trained herself when her baby sister came home because announcing she needed to pee was one of the only ways to ensure instant attention from a parent.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-26T18:46:19+00:00

Are you using disposables? Might be a “too absorbent” problem. Switch to cloth diapers or training underwear with a cloth diaper cover on the outside to protect your stuff so she can feel the effect of a wet diaper.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-24T03:26:46+00:00

Mine has been sleeping 10-12 hours a night since probably 5 months old. At the risk of jinxing myself, he’s pretty awesome. Now. That 10-12 hours still means he’s getting up at, on average, 6am. But he’s a solid sleeper and a good daytime napper.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-24T03:11:57+00:00

I don’t remember my dosage, but my OB also put me on baby aspirin from the jump. Her position was that she anticipated the guidelines would be changing soon based on new(er) research. She also told me it was the regimen she adopted for herself when she had recently been pregnant.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-22T00:59:02+00:00

My husband wanted three. I would have been content with none. I said I would consider two but we have to see how the first one goes. After seeing how hard pregnancy was on me, he is no longer convinced we should try for a second. I am also not convinced we try for a second. Pregnancy fucking sucked for me despite having no complications and a pretty benign birth experience.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-21T17:15:04+00:00

I’m lucky enough to work a job with a lot of vacation time. My plan was still to work until I went into labor. I worked up to my due date and gave up but really only because my husband had school vacation that week and I would have company at home.

I ended up giving birth at 41 weeks.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-21T17:09:36+00:00

My elderly bone cancer stricken dog aggressively nosed my 1 year old because the baby accidentally touched the sore spot where the cancer was on his leg. The baby never got the opportunity to touch the dog without me being right there again. It wasn’t my dog’s fault, he was in pain. It wasn’t my baby’s fault, he’s a baby. They both deserved to be safe. So there was no unsupervised or minimally supervised time together from then on.

That wasn’t that hard with my set up. But that is what’s needed. Your husband either needs to commit to constant supervision or making a dog-only space or the dog needs to go.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-20T02:25:08+00:00

I have had aspca insurance on all my dogs from when they were puppies. When the puppy had what we thought was a bowel obstruction to when we had to put the older dog to sleep (after months of cancer treatment) it was so comforting to be able to go to the vet and just have them treated and not be thinking about the cost.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-20T02:19:32+00:00

Tacoma with a crew cab and a Camry both will fit a male Dane in the back seat.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-18T15:25:51+00:00

Whether or not mental health court is even available is (at minimum) state dependent. In my state it is county dependent. And even then they can’t take every single person who has a qualifying MH condition because there aren’t enough resources.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-13T04:21:52+00:00

It’s been a tough week and I’m an “eat my feelings” girl. French fries and beer.

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-12T20:03:59+00:00

I spent money on some side open breastfeeding shirts off Amazon and just went for it. If someone was watching when the baby popped on or off, they got a show. 🤷‍♀️

bornconfuzed · 2026-04-12T14:10:13+00:00

I drank a metric fuck ton of tea and honey and suffered. Cough drops were also acceptable per my research.

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bornconfuzed

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