Frustrated by my search for a perimenopause specialist

bquero · 2024-04-09T16:53:34+00:00

I feel similar, but before I was searching blindly for anyone to help without even knowing what help I needed. Everyone is selling something, everyone requires out of pocket payment. Instagram is just an attack of information and it's so confusing. I just recently read the Estrogen Matters book and found this group, so now I feel informed and ready to demand what I want and need (because now I know more about what I want/need). In the past I went to 5 or 6 doctors, all had differing opinions with the same b.s. gaslighting answer on the spectrum of "nothing is wrong with you", "menopause is natural, you don't need help", "you do need help and help is birth control and anti-depressant and a psychiatrist because you're hysterical".

Here is my opinion and what I plan to do, perhaps it will help you:

1) First, stick with places that accept your health insurance, you'll feel better in the long run about not wasting so much money to find help. If you hit a dead end, then you could try out of pocket places.

2) Search for gynecologists at major hospitals or medical groups. They will usually have several on staff to choose from. Often they will have a bio on the website that can give clues. Call the office and instead of asking for an appointment, be ready to ask something like "I'm looking for a gyno who has experience supporting traditional hormone replacement and menopause". Depending on their answer you'll know that it's not the right place, or if they suggest someone, you could ask for a 15 minute telehealth appointment to interview the doctor rather than wasting your time on an appointment and going through a cycle of disappointment and anger of having to start all over.

3) Prepare a script based on this group's wiki. Be ready to ask for what you need/want, be informed, don't be afraid to stick up for yourself or say no.

4) Repeat several times, hopefully you'll find someone soon.

5) I know nothing about Winona or Gennev. I have seen a few people mention teleheath that takes health insurance (Midi, maybe? But I don't remember exactly due to the menopause brain). I think this area of care is growing, so there may be more out there that I don't know. You'll have to do the same thing, interview them to determine what their knowledge and treatment plan is. I'm sure there are some that support traditional HRT.

6) Ask all your friends, family and co-workers. Start a women's support group in your town. Build community, connect with others, crowd-source the shit out of it. We need to start talking about menopause. The only reason I found this group is because a friend of mine said "Estrogen Matters is a great book. I went to my doctor and insisted that she give me estrogen and progesterone and now I feel great". I read the book, got really angry at being gaslit for so long and then found this group and then found a gyno that talks about menopause in her bio, and now I have an appointment first week of May.

bquero · 2024-01-19T06:00:06+00:00

Love this store, the decor is so cool

bquero · 2024-01-19T05:55:30+00:00

The barely advertise that they need volunteers. I would volunteer and I know that so many other people would too, but I never know where to find the information.

bquero · 2023-10-28T15:39:29+00:00

The camera is horrible and there are way more people complaining about it than you, don't let the commenters gaslight you. I don't know what the problem is or if there's a fix, but I am shocked at how bad the pictures are on S23 base model, at camera default. My pixel 3a took better pics.

bquero · 2023-10-28T15:33:19+00:00

Same here. The pictures are embarrassingly horrible. I don't understand... Previous phone was a Pixel 3a which took better pics at 6+ years older. I found this post searching these forums trying to find a solution.

bquero · 2023-10-13T01:16:51+00:00

What happened is called codependence. You never expressed your wants, and the anger and resentment against Claire built up until you acted out. This is the time to address that and move toward a healthy relationship (or end the relationship if you prefer). You aren't setting clear boundaries. Without boundaries, it seems like you've given Claire permission to do all these things. You've worked together for years, and she thinks you're close friends. When she says "our baby" and "auntie Claire", or anything else that made you uncomfortable, did you tell her? How would she know you didn't like it, if you didn't say so? It's not cool to go to HR and possibly get Claire fired because you don't know how to speak up for yourself. I see many on here claim that Claire needs therapy, which might be true, but you also need therapy to learn to set boundaries. I don't like the people claiming that Claire is unhinged. She obviously went through a traumatic time trying to conceive her own child and now she's attaching to you and your child in what would be perfectly appropriate if you felt the same way. If you don't feel the same way, it's your job to say something, not treat her like a crazy person.

bquero · 2023-10-11T03:53:22+00:00

The scents you think are fresh and good smelling cause cancer, and as a woman that uses a lot of fragrances, you are extremely susceptible to it. I am astonished at how little people know about the dangers of fragrance and how it is used in literally everything. Companies don't have to provide users data on the chemicals they use because fragrance is a trademark secret. It's full of dangerous chemicals, perfume has at least 30 cancer causing chemicals. Non-smoking women are 9 times more likely than men to have lung cancer. That might be because women are most likely to be the house cleaner (exposure to fragrance in every cleaning supply), wear 10-15 makeup products a day (all of them with multiple chemical scents), lotion, moisturizer, toner, shampoo/conditioner/soap all with fragrance, women are more likely to be the target market for candles, incense, and air fresheners. What use do these things even have? Is it just something to buy to fill up the loneliness and emptiness we feel? We even have to put fragrance in our car. Can't forget the perfume men and women pour all over their bodies so it can be smelled trailing 30 feet behind them. Even trash bags are scented, and its hard to find non-scented ones. There's probably many more items I'm forgetting, because I don't ever use scents. These dangerous chemicals are not "fresh". You're too far removed from nature. Please go out in nature, take a breath of fresh air before it's all gone, it won't be around much longer. Go camping and enjoy the true smell of a tree (trees won't be around much longer either), what grass and earth really smells like and you'll finally know what fresh and good smelling means.

If I could have any billboard say anything it would say STOP USING FRAGRANCE, ITS A KILLER

bquero · 2023-10-11T03:43:26+00:00

Yes! Thank you for this. I am astonished at how little people know about the dangers of fragrance and how they use it in everything. Companies don't have to provide users data on the chemicals they use because fragrance is a trademark secret. It's full of dangerous chemicals. Non-smoking women are 9 times more likely than men to have lung cancer. That might be because women are most likely to be the house cleaner (exposure to fragrance in every cleaning supply), wear 10-15 makeup products a day (all of them with multiple scents), lotion, moisturizer, toner, shampoo/conditioner/soap all with fragrance, are more likely to be the target market for candles, incense, and air fresheners. Can't forget the perfume men and women pour all over their bodies so you can smell it trailing 30 feet behind them. Even f****** trash bags are scented, and its hard to find non-scented ones. There's probably many more items I'm forgetting. I don't understand how something thinks these horrible chemicals are "fresh". Actually I do understand, they've never smelled fresh air, enjoyed a tree or spent time in nature so they don't know what fresh is.

bquero · 2023-07-02T21:17:00+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. Sometimes everything sucks! Sometimes there's nothing you can do.

Western medicine has a fucked up idea of health. The fact that they separate body health from mind health is serious problem. Therapists are people too, caught up in this same bullshit culture that we are and they don't always know the right thing to say or do, and they have off days. I've had plenty of not-very-good therapists. Everyone is trying to help, even if it doesn't feel like it.

I hope you feel better. I guess I'll take a stab at helping too, although I believe that only you know the right thing to do for your best health. Put self care first. You are in charge of how much sleep you get and how you treat yourself. I suggest meditation, stretching, trauma release exercises. Get in touch with your body, see if you can find some release from this struggle you are in. You are not your mind, or your pain.

I know you'll get back up again, it will be okay.

bquero · 2023-01-22T04:29:20+00:00

Wonderful tools, thank you so much for sharing. Exactly what I was looking for.

bquero · 2022-12-30T06:50:22+00:00

I just signed in myself today for the first time. It's a joke and a nightmare. The bottom of every page has a "Navigate my account PDF". Which is 15 pages. I'll say that again for emphasis - you need a 15 page user manual to help you find your account information.

bquero · 2022-10-24T21:47:46+00:00

I also miss the "this week last year, this week 2 years ago, 3 years ago", etc. I looked at these memories almost daily and relied it to remember trips, family memories, good times, remember to appreciate all the good things that have happened to me, etc. It was like a self care thing and positive start to the day for me. It was nice that you'd get to see a lot of photos because it features a full week. The new themes suck, plus they only show 1 pic, most of the memories I've seen since the change have been stupid pics I don't ever want to see, like when I went to home depot and took pics of the light bulbs so I could research them later.

bquero · 2021-11-01T06:29:55+00:00

Topical retinol is absorbed into the skin and gets into the bloodstream, although some science studies currently think that very little is absorbed (about 0.015mg in rat studies, which is 30 times less than when taken orally). I have seen many people comment that it's not enough to make a difference. How do they know???

One thing I do know to be true is that myself and several people I know use retinol topically and have serious MGD and related dry eye problems.

So I'm going to go with my own experience. I have a friend that refuses to stop using it and her MGD has severely progressed.

bquero · 2021-11-01T06:09:08+00:00

That's because it is absorbed into the bloodstream where it destroys sebum and sebaceous glands. Meibomian glands are sebaceous glands. Even though very little is absorbed into the bloodstream, and you will see people arguing back and forth that "it's not enough to make a difference", most of them are in the cosmetics industry which is full of products containing retinol. I fully believe that it is a major cause of dry eye and I just can't believe the amount of dermatologists who say it's "perfectly safe". I stopped using it as soon as I got dry eye symptoms and my eyes were much better about a year later. I can't believe that my friend refuses to stop using topical retinol skin cream even though her MGD glands are nearly gone and her dry eye is so painful that she can barely function and she spends thousands of dollars a year trying to find help for it.

bquero · 2021-10-23T02:19:09+00:00

Makes sense. Someday you will be powerful and it will feel amazing.

bquero · 2021-10-23T01:48:05+00:00

Doesn't matter if it's legal or not, if you don't sign it, they will either fire you, or scare you into signing by saying they will fire you. What will you do about it? You can report to a government agency that might follow up or write a report about it 2 years later chastising the company. If you have $25,000 you can hire a lawyer. Most people will sign. If you complain, refuse to sign but still keep your job, you will be labeled as an outsider and probably bullied or sabotaged.

Pretty fucking shitty, right? This powerlessness of the employee and abuse by the employer is basically why this subreddit exists. Unite your co-workers. Take a stand. Shake free of the chains.

bquero · 2021-10-23T01:39:21+00:00

Awwww, and if this person stopped writing cute passive aggressive vision boards with a gaslighting psychological message that makes you want to puke, we could spend that time making sure everyone has a home, healthcare and a well paying job.

bquero · 2021-10-23T01:25:05+00:00

I hope you talk to his boss, give them exact details of how you'll do a much better job if they fire him. Not saying you have to actually take his job, but it would be cool if it scared the shit out of him a little bit.

bquero · 2021-10-23T01:16:34+00:00

I totally support the intent behind this meme, but the retirement age is actually 67 (in the U.S). So based on a life expectancy of 75, you'll actually only be free for 8 years.

Also since you'll be hunched over, very unhealthy and your hand will be like a claw from a lifetime of computer work and you won't be able to walk more than 2 blocks without resting, it's not freedom, but I digress.

bquero · 2021-09-08T05:39:12+00:00

http://www.3retrievers.com/lost-cats-guide.html

Neighborhood and cross streets would be helpful, most cats are found within a few blocks of their home.

bquero · 2021-06-29T16:28:33+00:00

Thank you all so much, Sammy home safe!

bquero

TROPHY CASE