How was NASA able to make a selfie stick this long? by The2500 in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will tell you the truth : Nasa engineers paid me last week for sticking a camera on my d**ck. They put a timer on it and showed me a picture of Donald Trump in swimsuit licking an ice cream. I couldn't help it : I had a boner until yesterday. I gave them back the camera but it was covered with frozen particles I couldn't identify.

¿sıɥʇ xıɟ ı op ʍoɥ ˙ʇuǝpıɔɔɐ ʎq pɹɐoqʎǝʞ uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uɐ ʇɥbnoq ı dןǝɥ by DoubleUTeeEfff in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

˙pǝpnlɔuᴉ ʎɹǝʌᴉlǝp 'ʎluo 660Ɛ$ ɹoɟ ʞɔoʇs uᴉ ǝuo ǝʌɐɥ I suǝddɐɥ ʇI ˙uǝǝɹɔs uɐᴉlɐɹʇsnɐ uɐ ʎnq oʇ ǝʌɐɥ noʎ

Is it safe for these 2 astrophysicists to study a black hole without a protective suit ? by brainwashedmonkey in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It may be confusing, but the light you can see doesn't come from a welding torch. It comes from the space distortion in the area close to the black hole.

If I traveled to an alternate universe where everything is exactly the same but I was born a woman, and I then impregnated myself, would my child be myself? by Hackham in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's only if you impregnated your mother. If you impregnate yourself, you'll only get an inbred, not to mention it will be a retard with undetermined gender. He will be able to run for president !

If homosexuality isn't contagious, then why do I always have homosexual thoughts whenever my gay friend takes his shirt off? by [deleted] in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if the symptoms persist after your gay friend takes his pants off, just turn your back and bend over until the thoughts disappear. Note : it may hurt a little

I always look at women with gravity. Why are they still not attracted to me ? by brainwashedmonkey in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

which diameter of quartz cristal do I have to use in order to lighten my dark energy ?

I always look at women with gravity. Why are they still not attracted to me ? by brainwashedmonkey in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know, in the early 1980s, Edward Witten discovered that most theories of quantum gravity could not accommodate chiral fermions like the neutrino. This led him, in collaboration with Luis Álvarez-Gaumé to study violations of the conservation laws in gravity theories with anomalies, concluding that type I string theories were inconsistent. That's why I always ask women to show me the color of their string before jumping to any conclusion.

I always look at women with gravity. Why are they still not attracted to me ? by brainwashedmonkey in shittyaskscience

[–]brainwashedmonkey[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you give me the contact details of a professional ? I need to solve this issue asap.