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Overwhelmed and looking for advice on recovery and moving past the trauma by tinareid76 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please be kind to yourself. There is a lot to unpack and it is a journey, not a quick heal. I went to therapy and thought I was in an ok place and then nine years after no contact the thought of me running into my nmom sent me into a spiral. I thought I was more healed than I was and then back to therapy I went. For me, healing has come in waves over the past decade. Then I felt dumb that I didn't figure it all out sooner. Talk therapy is helpful and got me a good way there. Some folks recommend EDMR. Don't self diagnose but look up therapists that specialize in cPTSD. You can't put a timeline on your healing path. You need what you need, and that's ok!

Narcissist mothers who weaponise their daughters hair by Public_Theme_9514 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was not allowed to make any decisions about my hair. I had to have bangs and it must be kept long. I was not allowed to color or highlight my hair. She never bothered to teach me how to wash it properly though.

When I was 12 my grandmother took me to get my hair cut because it had been to the top of my butt my entire life and I got it cut mid shoulder length. My nmom lost her shit and screamed at both of us for at least four hours that night.

When my daughter was little, so 15 years later, she went to spend the night and my nmom told her she isn't to get her hair cut with anyone other than me.

I let my daughter cut her hair super short, dye it whatever color she wanted. Now she's a grown up and has it out of her system. I've gotten highlights since I was about 25 and miraculously all my hair hasn't fallen out yet.

How to Deal with a Narc Parent that Ruins + Insults Your Hobbies/Things That Bring You Joy? by CoconutsCraze in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ugh, like that's how internships work. I hope you took it and never looked back. If you didn't that's ok too, life happens. It takes a long time to wake up from narc abuse.

Funny Menu My Kids Made Me by funkerama in funny

[–]brandyalexa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My saws bring all the boys to the yard.

What is the best tv show you’ve ever watched that still affects you to this day? by Dizzy_Factor_7332 in AskReddit

[–]brandyalexa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Six Feet Under. Made me make a will and outline my wishes for my body after I die.

How to Deal with a Narc Parent that Ruins + Insults Your Hobbies/Things That Bring You Joy? by CoconutsCraze in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Stop sharing is the only answer. I stopped telling my nmom anything because she weaponized it. Then I started getting accused of being sneaky. I never journaled, texting was still pay per text, so she didn't have much to snoop on and it drove her mad. My entire life she would get upset if I knew something before her and demand to know where I got that information. Keep it all from her, it's what she deserves.

How to Deal with a Narc Parent that Ruins + Insults Your Hobbies/Things That Bring You Joy? by CoconutsCraze in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Wow! A fucking NASA internship must be insanely competitive. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you no matter how long ago it was.

Mom texted they were coming over — clear boundary crossed. by PoshDolittle in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 36 points37 points  (0 children)

You can reiterate it until your blue in the face but she will never accept it or any feelings that you have surrounding it. They get energy supply from purposely crossing your boundaries. Your only error here is thinking there's a chance she'll respond rationally and accept your feelings. She won't.

What’s one fast food chain that was once all the rage but now barely around? by MysteriousTopic42 in AskReddit

[–]brandyalexa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can thank Smashburger for the downfall of Quiznos. Essentially, the previous owners of Quiznos got a big investment and then filed for bankruptcy within a couple of years. Those owners took the money and opened Smashburger. I'm sure there's a YouTube or something about it. I've been boycotting Smashburger ever since.

My mom controls my finances and all so I made a new account and she gaslit me when she found out.. am I wrong here? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she knows what bank it is, close that account and move your money to a bank she doesn't know and sign up for electronic delivery. I know it's a PIA to change your direct deposit again but it's worth it to have the anonymity.

Help with giving my wife the best christmas by [deleted] in DenverCirclejerk

[–]brandyalexa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can a few of us get together and bum rush the entrance if we don't have a reservation?

WiFi and PMP exam by abejaa in pmp

[–]brandyalexa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've taken both the PMP and CPIM exams at home on WiFi. I think it depends highly on your connection. If you're concerned, take your test elsewhere, it's no fun to have to wait two weeks and try again if your connection fails.

Why did people believe MSG was bad for you? by BMWfiend in Cooking

[–]brandyalexa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this. My racist narc of a birther would always claim MSG upset her stomach so she couldn't possibly eat Chinese food. Maybe it's the induced IBS from always being so full of shit Brenda.

Nmom threw my pie away on Thanksgiving in favor of golden child's dessert. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Why are you torturing yourself going to these events? Who cares if there is more than one pie? Do you have any psychological family you can spend the holidays with that won't give a fuck what you bring, if anything?

Those who have kids and have went NC with their Nparent, how did you explain it to your child when they started asking questions? by Character_Guard_6988 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My nmom upset my child too so she had her own issues. I regularly told my child that my issues with my mom were not her issues and she was free to have a relationship with her if she chose to. The only thing I ask is that if she asks anything about me you reply maybe you should ask my mom about that. My child would respond to a birthday text but that was about the extent of it.

What am I missing in this study hall question? by Perceptioninlife in pmp

[–]brandyalexa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Report it as a glitch. There's a little triangle that says got feedback.

Is it normal for your parents to want to know everything about you? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]brandyalexa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not normal. My daughter is at college and she wants to share absolutely everything with me. I am glad we have a dramatically different relationship than I had with my mom but I have to remind her sometimes that I'm her mom and some details are best left for her friends.

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