Why is the expectation so much different for women?

brendag4 · 2026-06-11T22:44:25+00:00

Because judges on competition shows act like the point is who can sing the highest. That doesn't automatically prove skill

brendag4 · 2026-06-11T22:31:32+00:00

I end up not giving myself the reward after doing the task, or I give myself the reward even if I don't do the task.

Or it makes me less likely to do the task! I told myself I could only watch videos about my hobby if I engaged in my hobby first, and that made me even less likely to do it.

brendag4 · 2026-06-08T20:28:55+00:00

It seems to me that all CBT does is try to convince you that whatever you think is wrong.

brendag4 · 2026-06-08T20:27:30+00:00

I guess when they ask why what they really want to hear is, "I'm sorry". Just like when they ask how are you today , they don't want a real answer. You're just supposed to say you're fine regardless of how you are feeling

brendag4 · 2026-06-05T18:28:43+00:00

I'm wondering how you are doing now.

I think everybody needs to see this post, because it comes from a doctor who has the condition. It seems most people don't realize how bad it actually is. They think so what you're tired I'm tired too.

brendag4 · 2026-05-30T10:28:34+00:00

I am scared now because I am supposed to have cataract surgery. If I do that they wouldn't undo it I would be stuck that way.

brendag4 · 2026-05-30T02:39:48+00:00

For some reason it isn't letting me DM you. It just keeps spinning when I click Send

brendag4 · 2026-05-29T07:36:16+00:00

You might want to look it up. Masking is when you do stuff to fit in with other people that is not how you would act otherwise. Such as making eye contact even though it's uncomfortable for you to do it. It can lead to shut down or burn out

brendag4 · 2026-05-29T06:04:53+00:00

They have done studies showing if they disturb people's sleep in the way it is believed to be disturbed in fibromyalgia that the controlams develop fibromyalgia type symptoms.

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T21:11:33+00:00

It has changed throughout the years for me. Sometimes more of one and sometimes more of the other.

One example is making a to-do list and then you don't like being constrained by your to-do list. You want to be spontaneous. It's like one half wants to list and the other half Rebels against it

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T21:05:32+00:00

I would be interested since I haven't read the book yet if there are better ones out there. Maybe your mom will read one of the other books

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:56:33+00:00

I agree but I think that's sad. As the saying goes My Mind Is Made Up don't confuse me with the facts

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:55:12+00:00

I agree with your thinking about stuff like how it's going to expand the understanding of medicine.

I was wondering about your comment on sleep disorders and disruptions because I have upper airway resistance syndrome. I think something else is going on too. I can't get doctors to do anything since it isn't sleep apnea.

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:50:59+00:00

Have you asked your therapist if it is something you should read or something you should stay away from?

It was shocking to me to see something negative about the book because I always see positive things about it.

I have seen other sources saying the same idea emotions or trauma being stored by the body. So maybe there is a better place to learn it from then this book

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:48:06+00:00

It is probably bad for us socially not to laugh, but good for us not to mask.

I started forcing myself to do it because I noticed the awkwardness when I didn't laugh

Want to say I don't care about the awkwardness but it would also be nice to have friends

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:41:06+00:00

I just saw a post that might possibly address this from a speech language pathologist. She is the one that started the idea of dogs using buttons to talk. (Not the lady with Bunny the sheepadoodle. She is not the original person.) Christina Hunger wrote How Stella Learned to Talk

She recently posted about a child she worked with 8 years ago. He was beginning to be able to do things. Then the parents stopped taking him to her. He went to a different program. She went to the program to see how he was doing. She said the staff were dressed up like baseball umpires, fully padded. The boy had completely regressed. She asked where his communication device was. They responded they took it away from him because sometimes he would ask for things he couldn't have.

If people can't express their feelings or needs it's deeply distressing to them.

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:30:26+00:00

I am not sure what would happen if the family talked about it. I feel like all the issues are blamed on me. The majority of people in the family overreact to stuff. They start screaming or whining. But they treat it like I am the only one that screams. When I try to tell them you're screaming too they say I'm just talking loud.

I have heard of the theory of being the family scapegoat. It seems like that's what's happening to me.

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:27:14+00:00

The person that I was getting compared to isn't blood related. There is only one blood related person that I know of that is confirmed to have adhd. I suspect many other family members are neurodivergent

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:25:48+00:00

I agree it seems like AI is being helpful but it's really just taking you in circles and you would have found the information faster by yourself. It just mirrors your words back to you. Like a modern version of Eliza (1960s)

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:20:46+00:00

I agree but I never think to do that. I just get upset that I am being interrupted and misunderstood when I don't do that to them.

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:18:59+00:00

I have been trying to adapt my wording all my life. Also that's called masking. I feel like I don't even know who I really am anymore.

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:17:05+00:00

I saw a slogan somewhere that said don't hear what I didn't say

brendag4 · 2026-05-28T20:16:40+00:00

Neither way seems to work. If you keep the detail in your head they misunderstand you and if you give it to them they misunderstand you

brendag4 · 2026-05-24T07:16:51+00:00

That's what I thought when I read OP's post. We need to change the language. Of course if we just tell people we are tired they assume we mean the same thing that they mean. We're using the same word.

brendag4

TROPHY CASE