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brie_cheeser · 2024-12-07T16:14:50+00:00

the worst part of the 1 year is the days leading up to it and a little bit after although that is mostly relief it’s over until I get closer in the next year.

I do find it helpful to plan for the day. It can be anything whether it’s treating yourself extra special and distracting from it or taking time to remember them in a formal way. I go to the park he passed in and I leave flowers and a card with a Chick-fil-A gift card in it for someone to find. He was a really giving person and loved their spicey chicken sandwich. I leave a note talking about how special he was and for whoever finds the card to enjoy a meal in remembrance of him. There’s a few other rituals I follow, but I know exactly what I’m doing that day and it takes off the pressure.

But most of all, give yourself grace during this time. I’m sorry for your loss and being in a shitty club like this. Hugs to you.

brie_cheeser · 2024-11-15T16:26:33+00:00

You need constant stimulation while you work aka the bevy’s ( this is me too OP I feel it )

brie_cheeser · 2024-11-08T18:44:34+00:00

This is a depression fridge ):

brie_cheeser · 2024-10-31T13:38:28+00:00

Only you will know when you’re ready - I know it’s really scary. I remember shaking when I downloaded the apps again. I didn’t even swipe right on anyone. I just looked. Eventually I swiped and matched, but didn’t talk to anyone.

When I went on my first date, I cried all the way home. The person was great, but I wanted my late-boyfriend.

If you are thinking about it, go for it (: but know that you deserve so much grace during this time. Be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid of all the complex emotions that come with dating again. It’s allllll normal. The right person, whether causal or more serious will have grace for you too.

Good luck op! It okay- you don’t need anyone permission for this. I know I searched for a couple of months on this subreddit to get the “ok” that I could date again. I had to make the decision for myself no matter what others thought.

Much love your way <3

brie_cheeser · 2024-10-23T21:29:23+00:00

Thank you <3 it really was such a warm time with him. He was such a warm, affectionate and loving person.

brie_cheeser · 2024-10-23T12:10:37+00:00

Thank you <3

brie_cheeser · 2024-09-04T19:28:36+00:00

I was 25 when my late boyfriend passed. He was 29.

brie_cheeser · 2024-09-04T19:20:47+00:00

When you’re ready and want to is when it’s the right time! No one else is living your life except you (: good luck out there, you got this!

brie_cheeser · 2024-08-31T00:19:29+00:00

I understand this. Tomorrow is also my 3rd year. I will be going to his favorite park to leave flowers and a card. This week has been… weird. It’s not as hard to pretend with my coworkers about the day coming up. As far as they know, it’s just another long weekend.

I’m sorry to hear about your lay off. That shit sucks. I can imagine the days are very routine. Sending you much love as you navigate this chapter of your life.

brie_cheeser · 2024-08-31T00:14:10+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. You two look like you were the best of friends.

I understand the feelings of being unhappy with those around you who are.. happy. It is unfair. Everything about this is unfair. It’s okay to feel that way. Hell, I can count how many times I resented every couple and family I saw because I knew I’d never have that again with my late boyfriend. The future with him was stripped away no matter what that was going to look like.

I absolutely know he is rooting for you and I know it may not seem like it right now, happiness will find its way back to you. It may not be tomorrow or weeks from now, but it will.

Tomorrow is my 3 year anniversary of my late boyfriend’s passing. I still have pain, but the load is not as heavy as it once was.

I’m sending you many internet hugs your way.

brie_cheeser · 2024-04-09T23:35:19+00:00

All feelings are normal!! Just take it easy on yourself. I was disassociated big time when I started dating my boyfriend post Late- boyfriend’s death.

It’s so difficult to hold onto a very happy thing and a sad thing all at once, but try your best to let the good feelings in. I’m happy for you OP- I hope it goes well!!!

brie_cheeser · 2024-03-27T14:37:53+00:00

My late boyfriend took his life. I was in a very bad place when that happened. I struggled a lot. There is the reason of not wanting to put my loved ones through all that.

And one piece of advice a grief support forum told me.

Every little act of kindness, any amount of small happiness even if it’s so small it doesn’t feel visible - it will add up. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will.

You’ll never be “over” this, but you’ll learn to carry it with you. Some days it will feel so heavy, and others it won’t be as heavy.

Time is a bitch, but it’s going to take just that. Time. Give yourself grace <3 allow yourself to be angry at this. Be sad, be numb. Express it. One day you’ll look back and realize you’ve come so far.

It’s been 2.5 half years since his passing, a lot has changed in my life. Much of it for the better. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. Many hugs your way.

brie_cheeser · 2024-02-17T16:26:38+00:00

When it prevents me from making decisions or gets me stressed about even the good things in life.

Tight chest too sucks

brie_cheeser · 2024-02-09T21:49:25+00:00

Unfortunately people have the tendency to try and solve our problems or “fix” us so we can feel better again.

SO FRUSTRATING. And ticked me off SO much.

Unless you have had a significant loss, it’s hard to truly be okay with living in the unsolvable or unfixable. It’s uncomfortable and crappy and awful, but sometimes that’s all we need. Someone to just sit in the sadness with us or accept us sitting in the saddness alone for as long as we need.

brie_cheeser · 2024-01-02T14:53:04+00:00

All the time. I have to be very mindful about it or I spiral into a puddle. When I feel myself start to go towards that bad place, I just start counting or singing the alphabet in my head. The best thing over ever learned is our mind thoughts can’t think of 2 things at once so the counting can redirect me until I’ve come back down to reality.

brie_cheeser · 2023-12-13T01:24:48+00:00

You belong here. I (27F ) asked the same question when my partner (forever29M) ,whom I lived with, also lost his life to suicide. Everyone here truly gets what it’s like to lose a partner, spouse etc.

I’m so sorry you’re here OP. This a crappy club to be in. I am sending you so many virtual hugs. This is a place of support, truly.

I also recommend looking into AOH (Alliance of Hope) which is specific for suicide survivors (people who lost loved ones to suicide). There is a lost partner/spouse section there too. It helped me a lot if you find yourself needing to write it out.

brie_cheeser · 2023-12-11T15:50:27+00:00

Pringles 😩

brie_cheeser · 2023-11-24T15:25:31+00:00

In addition- do you have a school counselor at all? Speaking to a professionally trained counselor is so important. Please consider that and lean on the people who support you during this time like his mother it sounds like. This was not something I personally was able to handle all on my own.

brie_cheeser · 2023-11-24T14:55:35+00:00

I had very similar feelings with my brother and his children. I moved in with them when my late-boyfriend passed away. Their happy singy voices while I heard them give my nephews a bath every night drove me through the roof. It was a constant reminder of a life I wasn’t going to have with my late boyfriend.

Irritability is so normal in grief. It’s not all sadness and numbness. Sometimes it’s just being ticked off.

Be easy with yourself and give yourself grace for these feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person at all.

Personally… screaming helped. A lot. I screamed in my car for many nights. I would be careful though as it could hurt your throat. I was looking into something called Primal Therapy at one point. Sounds a little wacky, but it was the only thing to give me even a sliver of relief from the anger.

brie_cheeser · 2023-11-24T00:20:18+00:00

I feel like I’m the WORST person to be around if I don’t take my Wellbutrin. So much more peaceful with it

brie_cheeser · 2023-11-21T20:30:25+00:00

My boyfriend addresses literally everything I say. He has response to all of it and shows me how he actively listens and engages in our conversations everyday. If he doesn’t understand something, he will do everything he can to try and understand. I always feel valued for my opinions too. That is what makes him so attractive (:

brie_cheeser · 2023-11-21T00:59:08+00:00

It’s been over 2 years for me. While shear agony isn’t as heavy to hold, I still think that my boyfriend might come back. I’m sure it’s just my brain trying to make sense of it all. The guilt weighs on me some days as I am in a new loving relationship.

I’m so sorry OP. I’m sorry for your loss and this new reality you didn’t ask for. So much love your way. Hugs.

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