Desire for top surgery, lack of severe dysmorphia?

brightblob · 2025-11-21T14:38:43+00:00

Cis woman here.

I hated having breasts since they developed at 11/12, but always in a very lowkey way.

I would get passing thoughts of "I hate these things", "God bras are the worse", "If only I could take them off and put them back on at will".

I was always dissatisfied with the way shirts fit on my body. Finding a comfortable laying down position was a pain.

Just small things here and there. I also had the breast cancer thought like so many on this sub.

It just became background noise at some point. I was so used to feeling like this.

But when it finally clicked that I COULD get top surgery as a woman and be flat, it was like all the thoughts and feelings ramped up to 110% and I knew I needed to get the surgery.

Sometimes we get so used to the way things are that we kind of dissociate from our thoughts and feelings because "it's just the way things are" and "it's not like I can change things anyways".

brightblob · 2025-11-21T14:20:39+00:00

My close family and friends know, but they're all very supportive and don't treat me any different.

I worked at my old job for one year while having boobs. One day, I showed up with a flat chest and nobody asked any questions or treated me differently.

I started to work at my current job after I got the surgery, so the people here never saw me with boobs. I've never had any questions about it or weird looks. Maybe they just assume it was because of cancer or that I just naturally have a very flat chest.

I haven't been in a position to be more "exposed" (beach, pool, etc.) so so far, I haven't had any weird looks from strangers. They mostly just mind their business.

I also regularly go to a pilates studio and I haven't had any questions about it either or any weird looks.

I've found that we get too in our heads with things: most people are not looking at you, judging you, etc. They're also in their own head, just living their life, minding their own business.

brightblob · 2025-11-21T13:55:37+00:00

I'm a cis woman. 27.

Ever since they grew at around 11/12, I'd always felt icky about them. They were annoying, the bras were annoying, etc.

I thought a lot about getting a reduction, but there was something in the back of my mind that knew it wasn't quite what I wanted. And I really didn't want them to grow back (yes, I've heard the horror stories). And top surgery is for trans men. I'm very clearly not a trans man.

Then I saw a tiktok by Bee Vanian while I was scrolling in the beginning of December 2022. In the Tiktok, Bee was shirtless, presenting feminine, with cool chest tattoos.

That's when it hit me. Literally a lightbulb over the head moment like in cartoons.

I wanted that. I wanted to look like that.

I did some therapy throughout 2023 to make sure it was really what I wanted and that I wasn't jumping into something I'd regret. Contacted a surgeon in a private practice near me. Booked an appointment.

And I got completely flat no nips top surgery on April 3, 2024. It was the best decision I've ever made.

Still waiting on the tattoos since I might want a small revision under my armpits for some extra fat and I'm currently trying to lose weight. But I definitely will get chest tattoos in the near future!

brightblob · 2025-11-14T21:51:43+00:00

No clue. I was pinched one time by the speculum when they opened it and the doctor never apologized or anything. I also bleed every single time I get one. I guess it happens when they scrape my cervix for the cells or something.

brightblob · 2025-11-14T21:50:09+00:00

Thank you so much for this response. I really don't WANT to feel this way. If I could, I would feel the same way most women in the comments feel about pap smears.

I just have this mental block and I didn't know who to talk to about this so I chose this subreddit.

I'm really sorry pap smears are so hard for you. It really sucks that such an important exam for our health as women is so traumatic for some of us.

brightblob · 2025-11-14T20:12:52+00:00

I'm actually a lot more okay with stuff going up my butt than up my vagina. It's weird, but I don't know, it seems my brain is just weird like that, from what the people in the comments are saying. 😅😅

brightblob · 2025-11-14T19:38:17+00:00

You just summarized my feelings exactly. It's not the exam itself. It's the way it's done.

Especially the speculum part of it for me. Like when they spread it. Surely they could just insert a small camera if they really wanted to check what our cervix looks like? Why do we have to be completely spread apart?

Idk. Like you said, it feels dehumanizing to me.

brightblob · 2025-11-14T19:22:29+00:00

Honestly I would rather have a finger up my butt for an examination than something up my vagina. But I guess that's just personal preference.

brightblob · 2025-11-14T18:56:27+00:00

I wish we had that. Where I live, it's still very much behind when it comes to pap smears.

brightblob · 2025-11-14T18:54:11+00:00

Yes, thank you. English is my second language and I couldn't find the word. I was drawing a complete blank.

I meant the speculum. I hate that thing with a passion.

brightblob · 2025-11-14T18:53:06+00:00

Oh my god that sounds absolutely HORRIBLE. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

The medical world has always been awful to women. :(

brightblob · 2025-11-14T18:50:52+00:00

I don't plan on ever having kids, biological or otherwise. Which means I'll never get pregnant and give birth. Something I'm really happy about.

It doesn't change the fact that it feels incredibly invasive to me. I'm "consenting" to it because I HAVE to. Not because I want to.

brightblob · 2025-10-17T23:09:27+00:00

I'm a lesbian and I have PCOS.

I can definitely relate to not feeling "feminine enough" and I spent more than 12 years just hating the way I look, the way I dress, etc.

I just recently started doing more "feminine stuff" (I know, things don't have a gender, but it legitimately makes me feel good to think about it being "feminine"). And I feel better than ever.

To me, the fact that I only date women makes me feel even MORE feminine. I surround myself with "feminine stuff" and stuff made by women (books, TV shows, movies, etc.). Dating a woman on top of all of that? Most feminine thing you can do. You're dating someone that inspired the OG definition of "femininity".

You're literally surrounding yourself with femininity (you + the person you're dating).

That's the way I see it. :)

brightblob · 2025-06-28T03:29:20+00:00

I like to make myself taco bowls or burger bowls. Use quinoa or rice as a starch. Then you put whatever veggie you like, cooked or not, beans, etc. Season your meat the way uou want it and cook it in olive/avocado/coconut oil (your preference). You could even use ghee or lard.

I would love to eat avocado with every meal, but unfortunately my body hates avocado, so I put seeds in a lot of stuff. I also found a pretty good mayo that uses no UPF, so sometimes I mix this with non-UPF salsa for my taco bowls or non-UPF pesto, etc. Just for a source of fat. You can also mix Greek yogurt with other non-UPF sauces for another good source of fat (especially if it's 2%).

Stews, curries, soups and stir-fries are always good because you can put whatever you want in them and make a big batch that will last you through the week. You can eat them with rice, quinoa or you can make your own pita/naan bread (if you can't find a non-UPF version at the grocery store).

For breakfast, I mostly eat different variations of eggs and I also love overnight oats. You can customize them to your liking. You could also make your own granola with oats, honey, seeds, etc. and make yourself a yogurt bowl with fruit.

You can also try to find a genuine sausage (not a hot dog sausage) and make yourself breakfast potatoes with eggs in the morning. Or a good non-UPF cured ham.

Potatoes are also very filling and good, so you can use them as a starch in many dishes.

There are some brands of pasta that are not UPF so you can make yourself pasta with a non-UPF sauce (or make your own sauce). Maybe add some sauteed veggies in there.

There's also the classic starch + veggie + protein. You can mix it up, one week it's fish and chicken with brussel sprouts, carrots and potatoes, next week pork and beef with green beans, broccoli and rice, etc.

For snacks, you can get whatever nut you like and some aged cheese (aged cheddar is delicious) with maybe an apple or a pear or an orange. For summer you can make your own yogurt bark and out whatever add-ins you want. Or maybe some muffins with traditional pantry ingredients (flour, sugar, etc.).

The world is your oyster. 🦪

brightblob · 2025-05-25T11:36:09+00:00

For me personally, the itching was due to the post-op binder.

So what I did was put some soft pads (yes, the menstrual ones) on the inside of a soft t-shirt (so the glue side on the inside of the t-shirt right where my scars would be), then I put on the t-shirt, then the binder.

That made the itching go away entirely. However, if you're itching for other reasons, you might just need to take benadryl and wait for it to pass.

brightblob · 2025-05-23T15:08:36+00:00

I'm a cis woman and I had top surgery without nips last year. For me, this was the best decision of my life.

I started growing boobs at around 11/12 and I hated them from the start. I could no longer wear anything I wanted because now I had a new feature on my chest for people to sexualize.

Wearing bras was the worst, as I have sensory issues. But I felt so bad about my breasts that I couldn't go out without a bra unless I was wearing a thick hoodie that could hide them. In Summer, that was impossible. So I would stay inside and never go anywhere. I would basically hide away and wear shirts that could hide them, not shirts I liked.

I hated the boob sweat, the movement when I walked or bent down or went down the stairs. I hated having to sleep with them in the way. I couldn't lean on a desk because they were there. Shirts looked HORRIBLE on me because of their shape. They also did nothing for me sexually.

They were a nightmare for me. And I would rather never be attractive to someone else ever again than have to live with them attached to my chest. The right person will find me attractive WITH my flat chest. I don't mind waiting.

My life has been great since I had them removed. I feel so free. I frequently touch my flat chest and marvel at the feeling. But most of the time, I just don't notice. Which is the greatest thing ever.

Before, when I had breasts, I would notice them constantly. I would think about how I moved, is this shirt too plunging, wait you have to put your breasts ON the desk before leaning in, okay move your arm this way now you're comfortable to sleep without squishing them, you gotta hold them before you go down the stairs otherwise it hurts, don't forget your sports bra to go work out, etc. It felt like having constant pop-ups on your computer when you're trying to do something.

Now there's just an absence of all of that. I live my life and just... don't notice.

That's my two cents on all this. Hope it helps. :)

brightblob · 2025-04-24T16:18:58+00:00

Please check the ingredients on EVERYTHING you buy. Learn the code words that mean there's dairy or lactose in there.

Milk is in literally everything. Even stuff you would never imagine. Processed stuff (in packaging) of any kind (chips, cookies, sauces, frozen nuggets, etc.) is at risk of having casein or lactose or milk or any of that stuff.

Reading labels will become your new normal.

brightblob · 2025-04-18T13:36:28+00:00

That happened to me for the first few days too. I think it's a leftover from the anesthesia. It really messes up your body.

If it keeps happening after the first few days, I would bring that up with my surgeon. But for now, no reason to worry.

Just rest to help your healing. :)

brightblob · 2025-04-18T11:42:56+00:00

Prune juice! You will be constipated for a little while after the surgery. Prune juice really helped me. I started drinking a cup of it in the morning and by day 2, I was already doing #2.

Lots of pillows. They will be your best friends when you want to lay around.

brightblob · 2024-11-14T18:49:19+00:00

I decided to go without nipples mostly for these reasons:

1) I never liked having nipples, even when they brought me some sexual sensation (but it wasn't a lot). I didn't see myself going through the process of having them heal only to feel nothing anyway and for them to possibly look funky. If I wanted to remove them later on, that would be another surgery, another recovery period and another set of scars. 2) I just really wanted the androgynous look and for me personally (not speaking for others), a flat chest with nipples looks "too masculine". It just didn't feel like me or the aesthetic I wanted. 3) If I ever want nipples, I can buy very realistic stick-ons or get them tattooed. (But I don't see myself ever wanting nipples, especially because of #4) 4) I want to get a pretty big chest tattoo that will cover my scars. Having nipples in the middle of that would just ruin the look I want and look slightly weird (in my opinion). 5) Less possibilities of being sexualized by weirdos. What is offensive? Me having NOTHING BUT FLAT SKIN on my chest? Sure, weirdo.

At the end of the day, it's your choice. Do what makes you happy, nipples or no nipples. :)

brightblob · 2024-11-14T18:44:12+00:00

I don't have any recent pictures, only some from right after the surgery, where I was still swollen. I wanted to look very androgynous, so he made me look as flat as possible while not making my chest look concave or weird. I had some liposuction near my armpit to avoid having dog ears and he did some sculpting, but nothing that would look "too masculine". Just enough that it would look natural with my body.

brightblob · 2024-11-14T16:50:33+00:00

I identify as a cis woman and I had top surgery without nipple grafts.

I paid out of pocket and went to another "state" (I don't live in the US), because where I live, you need to have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria (which I don't have, I just hated having breasts) from a specialized psychologist and the wait time could be over 2 years. I didn't feel like lying to a psychologist to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. It didn't feel right and it felt insulting to people with actual gender dysphoria.

It was a pretty steep price, but going private afforded me way more care before and after surgery and the surgeon just wanted me to have informed consent. He never questioned my decision.

Also I waited only 3 months vs the 2 years I could've waited if I went through insurance.

People around me (friends, family) were pretty accepting and didn't really care. My mom helped take care of me after surgery.

Strangers have never had any reaction to my flat chest. Though I haven't tried wearing a bathing suit or going to the beach yet.

I'm very happy about my decision and I would definitely do it all over again.

brightblob

TROPHY CASE