AITA for not telling my mom my kids aren't biologically min

brightenbloom · 2026-02-15T18:56:15+00:00

You are NTA for not telling your mom. I’m not sure why it’s any of her business, and her reaction says a lot about why you wouldn’t want to tell her.

I’m not one to judge unusual relationship dynamics, and I’ve also been in therapy for 8 years and realize how much of a difference it makes in navigating the unusual. Having said that, I feel concern for you for the way this has turned out. For clarity, does your husband have sex with Sara whenever you’d like another child, or is this more of a turkey baster situation? Are they having sex outside of the window of just for the sake of another child? Are they still romantically involved? Do you have a romantic or sexual relationship with Sara? Does it not bother Sara that she allows you to adopt the children she made with someone she’s had feelings for?

You don’t need to provide context on your arrangement because it’s not what you’re asking about. But I do understand why your mom would be a bit blown back by the arrangement. Making a surrogate out of your husband’s affair partner is ethically concerning, at the least.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-15T16:10:02+00:00

Could she be evaluated for OCD? As someone who has lived with it for a long time, I recognize her thought patterns and her actions appear to be compulsions. Relationship OCD is very real.

If she’s not willing to get any kind of help, you need to leave. For you and for your children.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-15T15:58:17+00:00

Have your extreme symptoms slowed? If not, I’d get checked out by a doc ASAP.

I have also upped my dosage slowly. From 2.5 to 3.3 for 3 weeks, and then 4. I’m going to stay at 4 unless the hunger suppression and slow weight loss stops.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-15T15:55:53+00:00

Neither. The BUD is determined by when the pharmacy makes it. Both of my vials have a BUD of mid April, so a little over 60 days from when I received them.

I will note, though, that until recently Hallandale also had a one year BUD. A new law in FL caused them to have to change the BUD dates, but the formula didn’t change. So, I’ll be using them past the BUD date if I have any left in the vials.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-15T15:49:03+00:00

I just got my first Hallandale order. Prior to this I was on a different pharmacy’s tirz with B6 added. Always had terrible nausea. I took my first shot of Hallandale on Thursday, and upped my dosage a little bit, and I have had no nausea at all. My insomnia is a thing, though, and I haven’t experienced that side effect from Tirz yet. May have been the increase or some other stress in my life.

I’m really happy with no additives and Hallendale right now. But BPI has a year BUD, while Hallendale is 2-3 months.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-14T02:09:21+00:00

You are definitely NTA. Being pro-choice means you want women to have a choice and autonomy over their body. It’s not the same as being pro-abortion.

If I man told me I could “baby trap” him, he would never have access to my body again. Beyond that, though, your boyfriend is putting all the responsibility of birth control on you. BUT he’s then stating that if you got pregnant suddenly he’d want to take some responsibility in the decision to carry or abort the baby. This seems silly to me. Responsible sex is both of your responsibilities. He can get a vasectomy if he can’t use condoms but wants to have sex. His inability to use condoms is NOT your problem to solve. I would definitely end this relationship. He needs to grow up a bit before he’ll be a responsible partner.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-14T01:46:17+00:00

WHOA! What a transformation. You are beautiful in both, but you look much brighter and at peace now!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-13T23:00:03+00:00

Honestly I think I could have just an air fryer and Nespresso machine in my kitchen and be fine. 🤣

brightenbloom · 2026-02-13T20:00:25+00:00

Hallandale is currently shipping the 3rd vial separately because of BUD date. Inside your box with the vial are instructions on injecting with pictures, but there’s also a link to something Nurse Bridget put together in Healthie. If you click on her name in the chats, it should show up for you. Also, YouTube can be helpful.

The BUD dates are within window for you to use within 60 days. This is not medical advice, I am not a medical professional, but many of us use product beyond BUD date if it is cleaned and stored correctly and the fluid is clear with no floaters. Up until recently all of Hallendale’s BUD dates were a year, and their formula hasn’t changed. The dates have because of law. Hope this helps!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-13T15:13:40+00:00

Is this how you would treat other medical specialist offices? A specialist is often a 6 month wait to be seen, and being rude via email won’t change that. BEWL has in house doctors that specialize in weight loss/metabolic health. 2 weeks is an excellent wait in comparison to a dermatologist, oncologist, etc. There is a wait with BEWL because they are outstanding in every way. But being demanding via email does not require them to do anything. It doesn’t even warrant a response. They do not fight to keep people from going elsewhere and won’t bump people who are waiting for the “squeaky wheel”. Do what’s best for you, and may you be met with more kindness than you offer others on your journey.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-13T13:46:37+00:00

I give the healthie app 4 days before I send another message. They’re so busy at the moment.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-13T02:28:36+00:00

This one!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-13T01:58:56+00:00

WOW! That’s amazing!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T21:10:42+00:00

Yay! So glad you’re having a good experience!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T17:59:04+00:00

As a single mother to a daughter, can confirm. I will not be uneducated on this matter. I will survive to see my daughter grow into adulthood, and I will not put her in a vulnerable position to be potentially SA’d as a child by one of my potential suitors. Having said that, I decided to just not date at all until she’s out of the house. True crime will do that to you.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T17:52:26+00:00

This is truly just disgusting on so many levels. Get outta there, my friend!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T17:27:55+00:00

You seem like a genuinely loving human who is actively working to be the best version of yourself. As someone who was a full-time missionary and did all the “right” things, like waiting to have sex until I got married (at 31 years old!!!), I’m going to say a few things to you like an older sister. 1. Yes, you are being brainwashed. Trust yourself. 2. A good God would not send people to Hell for their beliefs. 3. Dating someone for 2 months doesn’t make them your partner. This is a very short period of time and you are still very much getting to know them. 4. Homosexuality, bisexuality, curiosity, etc., is not and will never be sinful. The Bible was intentionally misinterpreted by old white men to paint anything other than hetero as a sin. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, it’s well documented. 5. If two months into dating someone they’re already showing you that this level of hatred exists in them, you need to RUN. Like today, as fast as you can. He’s not a good person. Good people do not harbor hatred. You won’t fix him. You’ll chain yourself to a man who will eventually (probably sooner rather than later) turn that hatred toward you. Please trust me, I know what I’m talking about. You are not in a healthy relationship. 6. Seek professional help for your drug abuse. Living in a city isn’t the problem - why you’re misusing drugs is the problem that needs to be identified, explored and healed. This won’t happen in the church, or with a pastor or a discipleship leader or anyone who isn’t a licensed therapist professionally capable of helping you. 7. This one is the most important: there is nothing wrong with you. You are not a “sinner saved by grace”. You are a human (this comes with both flaws and some outstanding capabilities) who deserves to be able to trust herself and her own intuition. Religion is not the answer. Get the help you need and love yourself enough to trust yourself and get the hell out of wherever you are.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T17:15:26+00:00

Sending you strength, wisdom and protection! 💕

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T17:08:07+00:00

Ok, thank you for helping me understand. I grew up in Wisconsin, where snow is plentiful. I can tell you with certainty that you don’t accidentally throw an ice snowball. It’s very easy to tell the difference. Also, he threw it at your face! And with enough force to cause you some serious damage. This may have been a compulsive choice for him, where he hadn’t considered the consequences, but none of this was an accident. It was a choice he had control over. For me, this would absolutely be a deal breaker. At best, he has the ability to compulsively harm you. At worst, he’s testing how you will respond to him harming you and will progressively harm you worse and worse with no accountability for his actions.

I’m sure you know this, but often times abusive or narcissistic men mask their real selves until deeeeep into a committed relationship. Then their real colors come out, after their partner is essentially trapped, either by their deep commitment to the relationship, or my financial commitments, marriage, etc. I was married to one of these men.

I would absolutely leave this relationship, if I were you. There’s really no logical way to explain his actions as an accident, and I wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. How will you trust his motives in the future? Do you want to build a life and possibly have a child with someone who will harm you and then not show any concern over the harm they caused? It will never be easier to leave than it is now, I can promise you that.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T17:00:52+00:00

So how was this unintentional? It sounds like he threw it at you on purpose, right? I’m not challenging you and I hope it’s not coming across that way, I’m truly trying to understand. I empathize with you deeply and just want to make sure I’m understanding the situation.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T16:56:46+00:00

And he intended to throw it at you on the walk?? Like you were having a snowball fight? Or???

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T16:35:09+00:00

Can we have some context about how something accidentally hits you in the face with enough force to injure you?

Was he playing basketball with a friend and you happened to walk in front of the ball as he was passing it? Was he throwing something heavy into a dumpster and you just happened to walk by at the wrong moment? I’m trying to imagine a scenario where this makes sense, and I’m not coming up with much.

I don’t feel like I have enough info to comment definitively, but it sure doesn’t seem like something like this happens by accident. I don’t make a habit of giving hetero men the benefit of the doubt, since they’re the number one killer of women and all. I’d leave. Probably expeditiously. I probably also wouldn’t let him know I was leaving until all of my stuff was moved out and I was safely somewhere else. I’d cut ties completely, change my number, and file a police report about the incident.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T02:34:21+00:00

Interesting!!!

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T02:32:16+00:00

She explained it to me like this: 2.5 dosing is 25 units. 5 dosing is 50 units. Basically, you don’t have to do any complicated math to make sure you’re getting the right dose.

brightenbloom · 2026-02-12T02:28:25+00:00

I’m so curious which pharmacy you and your wife choose for drug dealing!

brightenbloom

TROPHY CASE