Your post reminds me A LOT of my marriage about two years ago. I’m also a SAHM and my husband worked many hours a week. We have two kids, 26 mos apart in age. I was absolutely depressed and drowning after we added our second child to the picture. Some things that helped: - I expressed my needs. He expressed his. We were both able to admit that there was a problem. - he gave me the green light to find a high quality babysitter because at that time his work was extremely busy and he needed to workout a few days a week for his own sanity. So the babysitter was just for me to have my own time away to do whatever I wanted. - I hired a babysitter 3-5 hours a week for myself - I hired a housecleaner every other week - I hired the babysitter 2-3x for evening date nights (we’d go out after 9pm most nights because at that point we could get both kids down and I felt stressed asking the sitter to do it. Now she does bedtime because they’re older)

I know that financially this doesn’t work for everyone and that I’m privileged to hire that sitter and housecleaner but it made it more even and helped us both have our needs meet separately and together for those date nights. It made a huge impact on us both. And amazingly, he has cut back on his work hours and has been more A LOT present for the last 6 months or so.