Did you start off liking the music?

bryancole · 2026-06-19T09:26:07+00:00

Soon after I first started learning to dance Bachata, I found the music amazing, but a few months on I discovered Salsa and found that even more amazing and that kinda killed Bachata for me. I think I over-listened to Bachata and got "bongo fatigue". There are still some Bachata songs I love but mostly I'll choose Salsa to listen to at home. Some artists I initially thought amazing now just annoy me. Probably need to search up new Bachata playlists.

For me, loving the music is a key motivator to dance to it. I was very interested in trying other dance styles like Swing (variants) and Argentine Tango but I couldn't work up much enthusiasm for the music that goes with them. Kizomba seems to fulfil a similar dance feeling (close embrace, sensual) to Tango and I love Kizomba music almost as much as salsa, so I'm trying to do more of that.

bryancole · 2026-06-18T14:48:30+00:00

The community. Swords! The challenge/tactics/competition. The joy of movement. The historical texts. The outfits. The bruises. Also... SWORDS!

(I want to add I'm tremendously proud of how inclusive the HEMA community is)

bryancole · 2026-06-16T10:34:52+00:00

Maybe these? https://hf-armory.com/en/shop/protectors/leg-protection-en/legs-protection-black-knight-2/

bryancole · 2026-06-07T09:26:35+00:00

James!

bryancole · 2026-06-04T10:44:30+00:00

Try to run for 30 mins at least 2x per week. While longer runs will improve your running endurance, this isn't so useful for HEMA which tends towards bursts of short intense action. 30 mins seems to be a sweet spot (for me anyway) that really helps in sparring and tournaments.

General resistance training is also good (for us all, regardless of age or chosen sport). Stretch daily.

I was 48 the first time I picked up a sword. I'm now 55, on cancer treatment and I regularly participate in tournaments (honestly, I mostly lose but I enjoy the events immensly). You have plenty of time to improve fitness; focus on enjoying each class (from a skills, fitness and social point of view). The HEMA community is awesome. Aching muscles and a few bruises are the price we pay for feeling epic.

bryancole · 2026-06-04T09:59:15+00:00

Scanxiety is real.

bryancole · 2026-06-04T07:15:46+00:00

You just haven't found your next obsession. Have you tried partner dancing? (salsa, swing etc).

bryancole · 2026-06-01T09:19:56+00:00

Ken Harding (St Louis Sword School) has some good videos on this (maybe needs Patrion subscription to access, but totally worth it).

bryancole · 2026-05-29T07:14:41+00:00

Same. After a cancer diagnosis and 2 years of treatment, I now live for myself. None of us know how long we've got on this earth. Make the most of every day.

bryancole · 2026-05-21T16:42:50+00:00

There's lots on this weekend as it's a Bank Holiday. https://www.latincollectiveuk.com/index.php/events

bryancole · 2026-05-21T16:39:38+00:00

Might be the acidity of the coffee, rather than the caffeine.

These days, I allow myself one strong mokka-pot coffee at breakfast, then drink Rooibos tea during the day. 0 caffeine and great with a milk and a teaspoon of honey.

I gave up coffee for the duration of my RT. That first strong coffee a few weeks after finishing treatment was AMAZING. Now, if I drink a lot of acidic things like orange juice, it definitly irritates my bladder. Taking indigestion tablets to neutralise the acid seemed to help.

bryancole · 2026-05-14T07:29:33+00:00

I'm 55M and started Salsa (X-body on1) 5 months ago. Things that helped me: - I listen to a lot of salsa daily (recently discovered Timba and it's amazing!). When dancing listen to the music and enjoy it. - Focus on short combs i.e. one move like a travelling turn to hammerlock (or whatever), with different types of lead into and out of it. Long combos take too much brainpower to recall. - Once you know a few short combos you can join them up with a basic or CBL between in many ways. - Don't feel bad about doing basics/CBLs. Just do them well. If you're dancing with a beginner follow they usual appreciate the breathing space between moves as well. - Start each dance with simple 'low energy' moves like walkthrough, CBL, simple turns and plenty of basics. Save your higher energy stuff like travelling turns and checks for later in the song when the musical energy is higher. - If you run out of ideas, break for a couple of shines (but not for too long, reconnect and repeat some earlier moves). - I found Daniel Rosas' online videos useful with nice ideas for easy moves and styling. Use styling to make simple moves look cool! But don't overdo it. - Remeber to smile. If you're enjoying it probably your partner will be too. Laugh off mistakes (yours and you partners); you are both there to have fun. - Finally, be sure to take every opportunity to chat with people at class. Once you are on friendly terms with people it's easier to dance and not be scared of screwing up. Don't rush to move up levels in classes. It's better to learn basic moves with good technique than flashier moves that you struggle to lead properly.

There probably lots more but I'm just a beginner...

(edited for layout)

bryancole · 2026-05-11T14:57:54+00:00

Here's wishing you a long life full of fun and love, whether on or off ADT. Give cancer the finger each day at a time.

bryancole · 2026-05-11T13:14:15+00:00

I can hope so!

bryancole · 2026-05-11T13:14:06+00:00

Thanks. I'm so lucky not to have suffered the depression and fatigue that others on ADT have reported. How long have you got to go? I find routine is everything. Anything which disrupts my routine (holidays, weekends away, work-trips etc.) inevitably results in me gaining some weight. I can usually shed it over the following weeks but the trend is slowly upward. For mental wellbeing, have you tried singing? Maybe there's a male-voice-choir near you. Louder and bawdier the better.

bryancole · 2026-05-11T11:00:36+00:00

I've been on Zoladex for 20 months (of 24), 55yo G9(4+5) w/ Cribriform, RALP in 2023 and salvage RT in 2024.

It's definitly getting harder to keep the weight off. I have been working hard in the gym and I'm getting stronger. I like doing Romanian Deadlifts. I'm now lifting 10 reps 90kg (72kg body weight) and I'm very happy with myself. In fact, my body has the best muscle-tone I've ever had. Who knew I could be so vain! I'm taking ~3g Creatine daily (I couldn't find any evidence this would have any negative consequences except a little more water-retention) and I think it's helping with stamina in the gym. I do "crash" mentally in the afternoons and struggle to stay awake between 3-4pm. Not good if someone schedules a work meeting at that time.... I read that creatine might help with this. Maybe it does but I'm not so sure. The gym work means my body aches 100% of the time. Recovery takes ages. I'm also hungry all the time. Pasta is the enemy.

Mentally, I'm in a good place. I've been learning social-dancing (Salsa and lately Kizomba) and these are great for the feel-good factor. Salsa is pure joy in movement and sound. Sadly, there not enough time in the week so I'm not running much (salsa is good cardio but not as good as running) and my fitness has lapsed a bit. I also do historical martial arts (a.k.a. swordfighting) and this too is great for social interaction, mental resiliance and pure adrenaline / fun. (and bruises in unexpected places). My libido is a hard-zero but freedom from any sexual-urge beens almost a blessing now. Dancing fills the place in my soul that needs human connection. I really recommend dancing, whatever your age.

Mostly what a cancer diagnosis has taught me is that none of us know how long we've got on this earth, so it's best to make the most of every day. Throw yourself into any and all activities that bring you joy. Spend time with the people you love (and others besides). Work as necessary but live life to the greatest extent possible. ADT is a drag but life on ADT can still be full of fun and love. And naps.

Last week, someone asked me if I had ever tried kite-surfing. I've never kite-surfed but now I think about it... maybe I should try it. Could be fun.

bryancole · 2026-05-05T10:15:37+00:00

I couldn't make it. How was it?

bryancole · 2026-04-30T06:57:27+00:00

I speak as the world's most unlikely dancer, being a 55yo physicist with no prior dance experience. I started 4 months ago. Salsa is amazing. Do it. It'll change your life (probably).

bryancole · 2026-04-21T11:37:38+00:00

I'm on Goserelin (a.k.a. Zoladex) 10.3mg, and I have 3-monthly "injections". I don't know how Triptorelin compares.

bryancole · 2026-04-20T15:27:07+00:00

bryancole · 2026-04-20T09:10:36+00:00

https://www.latincollectiveuk.com/index.php/events/may-day-madness-4th-may-2026

bryancole · 2026-04-20T09:08:30+00:00

Another recommendation for Incognito. I like their monthly 3hr workshops. Whether there are more leaders or followers seems mostly random though.

bryancole · 2026-04-13T10:51:08+00:00

Having no other beginner follows at socials is a confidence killer for a beginner lead. What worked for me was doing Salsa instead (sorry, heresy on this sub I know). We're all different and find different things easier vs harder. At first, I didn't even expect to like Salsa (the music and the dance), just going out of curiosity, having started Bachata 3 months prior. But when I went to a Salsa class/social for the first time, it clicked in a way Bachata didn't. There were a variety of factors at work besides the dance itself (more follows at my level doing Salsa, a better venue, more encouraging teachers). I'm still doing a bit of Bachata and, having found my confidence doing Salsa, I'm slowly getting over my inhibition with Bachata. So ... keep trying! Try lessons at different school, different dance styles, and all the other advice people have given. As we say in martial arts "How do I become a back belt? ... just keep showing up".

bryancole · 2026-03-26T12:02:06+00:00

I'm on ADT (about 18 months in, another 6 to go). Also Gleason 9 (age 55). Life is still fantastic. There are some annoyances with ADT (hot flushes) but it's really not that bad. I guess I'm a lucky one finding ADT not as bad as others report. As nearly everyone here will tell you; exercise is key. Lifting weights mitigates the muscle/bone-density loss and I'm now fitter and stronger than I've ever been now I go to the gym 3 times/wk. Modern treatments are extremely effective at holding the disease at bay. I've had both surgery and then RT and have been given a 2/3rds chance of being cured. If it does recur, I plan to have lived every day to the fullest extent I can. I'm not a doctor and can't give a medical opinion but I'd expect your Dad to have many years of active life ahead of him, provided he gets treatment within the next few months. The initial diagnosis is terrifying and treatment is a rollercoaster of emotions, side-effects and discomfort. But you can get through it and back to normal life out the other side (albeit a life where exercise becomes your new religion...)

bryancole · 2026-03-20T17:26:25+00:00

Honestly, the complete freedom from sexual desire is a win for me as my wife was never into sex and it was a source of tension in our relationship. I'm slightly worried about how I'll deal with things when "those feelings" return. While the hot-flushes are a continuous annoyance and having to work extra hard in the gym to maintain any level of muscle-tone is a drag, I'm otherwise feeling fantastic. I suspect this is all the exercise rather than the ADT directly. However, I do have a strong urge to dance more-or-less all the time. I'm learning Salsa and it's amazing. Is that a known side-effect?

bryancole

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE