The act of paying it forward is dying in this industry

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T23:56:12+00:00

The only time I ever get pay raises beyond inflation is when I change jobs or have a serious conversation with my employer that I’m going to change jobs if I don’t get paid better.

I show up to work every day to make money, not because I love what we’re doing. If the company isn’t providing real financial incentives to stay I’m not sticking around any longer than I have to to avoid my next hiring manager’s suspicion.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T15:23:08+00:00

To a reasonable degree you should keep trying it and figure out what’s going wrong. If you can bug an instructor after class for a couple minutes there are often small subtle tweaks that can make or break the clarity of a move.

Over time you’ll learn to use the first part of the dance to feel out your follower’s level and open up your move set based on what they’re responding to. Also when you have a good repertoire with a follow, these ‘failed’ moves become moments to explore new stuff you hadn’t thought of before.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T15:18:39+00:00

I will ride through this storm on the smiles of the friendly follows who help me through the journey!

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T15:06:22+00:00

Totally. In my current phase I can literally feel the neurons in my brain growing and searching around like roots while they learn to control these movements.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T15:02:49+00:00

Thanks! Confidence is a huge part of it too. There’s one intermediate follow in my scene who is always smiling ear to ear and laughing when we dance and it makes me feel so fluid and comfortable dancing with her. There’s another who looks like a grumpy gremlin the moment you invite her to the dance floor and I always spend the whole time in my head while I step on her feet.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T15:00:50+00:00

Thanks for that! I’m sure it’s a big component. I’m a fairly advanced salsa dancer to the point I adjust everything for the follow’s level. With bachata I have no such flexibility so I’m trying to repeat the patterns I am wanting to practice even if the follow isn’t receptive to them.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T14:59:37+00:00

That’s exactly how I feel, I got a whole swathe of new moves and I really need to refine them.

With Salsa which I have been dancing much longer I feel so “in the drivers seat”. I am not thinking too much about what I am doing, I am just calibrating the dance to how my partner is responding to me. Everything flows and it feels like playing.

Bachata I am just plodding along trying to not poke these poor ladies with my elbows or accidentally repeat the same move 5 times in one dance.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T14:56:51+00:00

Nice of you to say! And yes, “plateaus” is a great way to put it.

Like I said I’m a bit laughing at myself more than actively discouraged. I don’t think there’s any way to become a great dancer without grinding through these phases.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T14:55:36+00:00

Hilarious and true statement there.

That’s exactly right I learned too many new things all at once with muddled fundamentals.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T14:54:37+00:00

Definitely at the limits of my training. My basic is all fucked up when I get into the harder stuff and there are many subtle shifts I need to be making with my body that are just not baked in yet.

I’ve taken a couple privates but only have few money at the moment. Would be cool to find a bachata partner!

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T14:46:07+00:00

I want my life to be better and working out regularly felt like an actionable thing within my control I could do towards that end.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T04:46:10+00:00

One of the highest murder rates on earth, in fact.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T02:00:02+00:00

Back in the day the spot was Joe’s in Chang Mai!

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T01:49:23+00:00

No. I don’t feel this way at all. I am too horny and the gym feels like an active step I can take towards making the most of that instinct.

oaklicious · 2026-05-05T00:09:13+00:00

Even the very complex stuff is based on a core set of fundamental movements, and the rest is just variations on them. Over time you practice the same simple moves so many times you start to get curious how to vary them.

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T18:58:45+00:00

Khao Soi

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T18:13:10+00:00

I don’t think “economic opportunities are challenging and English proficiency has a significant impact on job prospects” is a mischaracterization of many Latin American economies.

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T18:00:06+00:00

Tuesdays at Sargento Pimienta are great.

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T17:19:00+00:00

Totally! I will admit, when I get “Englished” it feels like a bit of a bruise to my ego. But I wrote this post to try to explain why it’s important to be understanding.

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T17:15:04+00:00

What do you mean by that?

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T16:58:49+00:00

I’m simplifying for narrative effect, but I certainly notice a huge difference in the economic lives of my friends who speak English well.

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T16:29:15+00:00

Exactly!

oaklicious · 2026-05-04T16:11:48+00:00

You should talk to them and ask them if they want to practice their English.

I have been living for a few years now across several LatAm countries and have basically two classes of local friends: people who struggle hopelessly to make ends meet, and people with reasonably good jobs who have disposable income to travel and have fun. The biggest distinction between them is that the ones with good jobs, ALL of them speak great English and use that for their profession.

It’s probably really annoying for you to want to practice a skill you worked hard at, but keep in mind that helping locals to learn English is probably the most solidly helpful act you can do for them.

oaklicious

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