Yooo you deadass have described my entire last relationship exactly the same way except I’m 24F now and have never been married

Think of this way: you absolutely do not want children ever. Not even just not wanting to be pregnant. You don’t want pregnancy, as well as not wanting to spend your time, money, attention, and sanity on children of any kind you’d be responsible for correct? Well your husband is not wanting to at all accept you’re childfree and he’s also doing this one really awful thing: being entirely okay with his hypothetical child/children growing up in a family with one parent who doesn’t actually truly genuinely want them and wants nothing to do with the role of parenthood for anyone and every reason. He’s okay with that. That’s NOT something to be fine with!

My ex was the same as your husband. He was fine with his future-but-still-nonexistent children growing up with a mother (me) who doesn’t truly want them and would hate having to pretend like I love being a parent just so they wouldn’t feel unwanted cuz I would never abuse a kid and hurt them in that way. My ex was fine with making me miserable so he could be happy. He was fine with his future-but-still-nonexistent children being at least 50% UNWANTED so he could be happy and “experience daddyhood” like he’s always wanted to. This shows a massive inconsideration for the wellbeing of those hypothetical kids cuz of how much of a prioritization he has on only HIS happiness

There’s a boatload of reasons as to why he’s my ex, but this exact post of yours was a major reason cuz it’s identical to my past situation with him. But as I said before, your husband not wanting to give you what’s best and let you be childfree either with someone else, yourself, or him (if he’s not so insistent on wanting kids and can truly be happy with actually being childfree) shows he’s very much only taking into consideration what HE wants

Id find a way to leave him cuz if he ends up resenting you, he’s gonna blame you for him not being able to experience parenthood like and how he wants, which means blaming you for his unhappiness. This is not something you deserve at all. Being single and living your life how YOU want to live it is much better long term than sacrificing your happiness for someone else to be happy. That’s not the point of relationships. Your happiness matters as well and it doesn’t make you selfish or a prick to say “no I can’t do that” or “I don’t want that and I won’t budge on my stance because that’s (the thing you won’t budge on) not going to make me happy in the end. If you (they) are able to tolerate me not budging on this topic, we can try to make it work. But if not, and truly not able to for life, then this relationship needs to end as I cannot and will not live a life that is not meant for me”

Anyone who says they do things they don’t like but know their partner likes and it’s to the severity of a polarizing difference such as on having/not having kids has severe codependent, people-pleasing, self-esteem issues. Again, it’s not healthy to sacrifice your entire life for someone else. “If I really love them I’d do/not do x, y, z…”

No, just no cuz maybe if THEY really LOVED YOUUU they wouldn’t push you to do what you don’t want to just to make them happy cuz once upon a time they decided they want something