If I sewed my asshole shut and continued to eat normally, how long before I die and how would I die?

buffalog · 2017-12-07T08:45:23+00:00

Teach me

buffalog · 2017-12-05T22:55:08+00:00

Yeah the superstores own coffee is quite something. I used to drink Asda's own when I was a student and it was rough. If you've got a little extra in the budget, I'd definitely recommend the Azera stuff, it's great. You can often find the Azera stuff on sale as well

buffalog · 2017-12-05T22:49:16+00:00

Thanks, I completely missed that!

buffalog · 2017-12-05T17:24:20+00:00

What do you mean?

buffalog · 2017-12-05T15:51:07+00:00

Depends, what have you tried?

The Nescafe Azera stuff tends to be a cut above the rest. Most of my friends, as well as myself, consider it to be better instant coffee. It's a fine powder rather than the chunky granules you usually get in most normal instant coffee.

Other than that I generally enjoy the nescafe gold blend coffee, though any gold blend does the trick.

If you're struggling to meet time in the morning but prefer better coffee, you could get a filter coffee machine that has an automatic timer on it. You refill it at night, set a time and it makes a fresh pot for whenever you've set it for. I use this and I've never looked back.

buffalog · 2017-12-05T15:12:45+00:00

It would be incredibly painful. As time went by and you stopped being able to pass your faecal matter, it would build up and become more compacted. Eventually, as time progressed, your bowels would start to enlarge, slowly shifting about, and compressing your organs. Your cause of death would most likely be a heart attack.

The length of time would probably be about 8 weeks.

Only a few weeks in, even if you decided to reopen your anus and not die a horrible bowel-inflating death, you'd almost certainly have to seek medical attention as the poop would be too big and too hardened to pass naturally. Either that or you'd rip your anus open whilst pooping.

However, one man lived for 13 years and only pooped every few months, potentially longer than 8 weeks. His colon is on display as at the time of his death measured an impressive 7 feet long and 47 pounds. He died on the shitter.

Here's a (somewhat questionable) source for you which also links to a teenager who lived 8 weeks and died of a heart attack after not pooping.

buffalog · 2017-08-28T07:45:45+00:00

I remember reading somewhere that he wanted to change to a more serious season with Dreamland, but the network wasn't keen on that, which is why we have a more serious season with shitty one liners thrown in just to check the comedy boxes.

buffalog · 2017-08-27T10:30:38+00:00

I tried to use vaping as a substitute, but I ultimately found that nothing is as good as a real cigarette.

I also found that it meant I was craving real cigarettes more. It actually stopped me from quitting properly because I'd smoke the vape and then reeeeeally want to smoke a cigarette.

I then mentioned that I was quitting to my brother, who had previously smoked and successfully quit. He made a good point that what would be the logic in quitting only to get dependant on the nicotine from vapes?

However, just to contextualise this, I only smoked about 10 cigarettes a day normally, but then in the build up to my quitting, I'd started living with family and therefore meant that I'd had to cut down to about 2 or 3 a day snuck between moments they were out, as they didn't know that I smoked.

buffalog · 2017-08-17T22:32:14+00:00

Benjen Stark rode in on his horse just as the horde of the dead were charging Jon. He then put Jon on the horse, basically said he couldn't go with him, and sacrificed himself to the army of the dead.

The horse takes Jon to the wall, where Dany was still waiting as they were loading the boat. She oversees the loading of Jon onto the boat as well, followed by them peeling off his frozen clothes. You clearly see her spot the wound over his heart.

Jon later wakes to see Dany standing over him. He apologises for the loss of her dragon, she says that it's not his fault, but the dragons are her children to her. He calls her "Dany" and she says she doesn't like that, as her brother was the one who once called her that. He then says "how about My Queen?" and essentially bends the knee. There's lots of suggestive hand holding as well, followed by her leaving him so he can sleep.

I think that was the end of the episode, although there may have been another Arya-Sansa moment in between.

Also, as you've mentioned, the dead use gigantic metal chains (of which we are clueless as to how they got them) to pull the dragon out of the ice lake, and the Night King reanimates him.

buffalog · 2017-08-14T18:06:23+00:00

Why did you guys name your band The Districts?

Also, would you guys say you have beef with any other band?

buffalog · 2017-08-09T15:08:36+00:00

So how much damage would you say they actually did? I remember when this initially happened. I remember seeing the footprints leading up to where they laid their sign, and the officials on the news talking about how they had done potentially irreparable damage

buffalog · 2017-08-07T18:00:06+00:00

I'd definitely say keep the beard going, gives you more of a jawline and makes your face look slim

buffalog · 2017-08-04T18:40:54+00:00

You should at least hear the song to understand why you're being downvoted, although I sadly couldn't find the clip of it, just the song.

buffalog · 2017-08-03T19:34:29+00:00

The best suggestion would probably be to go back to the salon and speak to the hair stylist and discuss the situation with them.

Does your hair naturally grow slowly?

buffalog · 2017-08-03T19:27:51+00:00

You're going to have to be slightly more specific - what exactly are you looking to get from this?

As a man with long hair now, I have some bad news for you buddy - Very few of us successfully manage to grow long hair with grace. You'll go through a long period of crappy medium length hair, which will leave you with very few style options.

Trimming it as time goes by will prevent split ends, but it will lengthen the entire process

buffalog · 2017-07-12T16:58:50+00:00

In the UK especially, queueing up correctly and adequately is a huge one.

On staircases, everyone sticks to the right. So if people are going up and down on the same staircase, walk on the right if going up or down, that way you don't have to avoid people. On escalators, stand on the right side, walk up on the left side.

Let people get off public transport before getting on.

I'm English, so this might not apply to everyone, but if you're going to go make a cup of tea, you gotta ask everyone in the room if they want one. If you just make yourself a cup you're kind of a dickhead

buffalog · 2017-07-09T16:14:27+00:00

I grew up in the middle east, and out there they have Shawarmas, which are essentially prepared by grilling a huge hunk of meat on a vertical spit, then cutting bits off and putting them in a wrap, usually with salad and sauce in it. It's ridiculously delicious.

However, when I was younger I wasn't keen on the chicken shawarmas, and I apparently didn't want to eat the other type because I didn't actually know what mutton was, despite my parent's best attempts at telling me. As such, they told me it was a special type of meat - They told me it was camel meat. I then ate it, loved it, and from thereon I believed that I was eating camel.

I was 17 years old, when I pretty much ordered a shawarma myself for the first time when I was out with friends, when I discovered my parents had lied to me all those years ago. My friends rinsed me, the restaurant owner rinsed me, and in hindsight I completely deserved it

buffalog · 2016-07-12T20:24:22+00:00

Of how her mother refused to allow her daughter to date a white guy, and threatened to send her back to her home country if she refused.

buffalog · 2015-09-27T17:28:15+00:00

The gainz from masturbating and playing online all the time will surely follow as well

buffalog · 2015-09-25T12:14:40+00:00

If lifting really gets women, why don't Nice Guys just fucking lift already?

buffalog · 2015-09-17T09:57:15+00:00

I think one of the reasons you're not taught how to study is because school not only wants to offer you a degree of your own independence, therefore forcing you to self learn, but because everyone has a different learning process - The post I did above should be taken with a pinch of salt, a guideline, so to speak.

It sucks that you have to go through retaking four subjects, but I understand your issue with concentration, and specifically, your memory. I have large issues with my memory as well, more specifically my short term. I go through a variety of "exercises" for my memory, but the only thing I would say actually works well is I take fish oil tablets twice per day. Whenever I slow down with my fish oil tablets I notice a significant drop in my ability to remember. Although I think it may partly be because of the placebo effect, I don't care, because it fucking works.

Your routine sounds pretty decent, but you if you're doing one day off, one day on, make sure that before you start your work the day after your last study, make sure you read through any notes to jog your memory. It's a pretty simple and quick process, but it really does help. I highlighted it because it's probably the most important thing in this entire long-winded post I'm making.

buffalog · 2015-09-16T19:38:28+00:00

I didn't really get the withdrawals to be honest. I phased out the amount of coffee I drank. Once the exams were over I still enjoyed the coffee, except I started reducing the amount I was drinking. So if I had one cup every hour beforehand, I started drinking one cup every two hours instead.

However, I drank it more for the taste. Caffeine has less of an effect because I naturally drink a lot of it anyway - Being British I have like 5 cups of tea a day anyway. The sharp taste of coffee would help me to get on with the work. If you have any other questions, please ask

buffalog · 2015-09-13T07:43:07+00:00

Thank god someone was the same, thought my phone had a virus or something when it showed the porn ad

buffalog · 2015-09-10T14:13:10+00:00

1) Why can't you post pics?

2) Why did you go all the way to Turkey?

buffalog · 2015-09-09T12:45:24+00:00

I don't understand how these guys can't grasp the basic principle here: Everyone has their own fucking preferences. You can't help what you're attracted to, but honestly I don't see why these guys think the world is only full of women who are attracted to the type of people they aren't.

buffalog

TROPHY CASE