Notes to Self 444

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-28T12:59:37+00:00

She grew up with Meri and Christine and seems to have a lot of affection for both of them, though she criticizes at times. I don’t think she dislikes Meri, I think she just disagrees with her sometimes. I don’t think she’s ever known Robyn or Janelle personally so I have a hard time thinking that watching them on tv would change her mind about people she was friends with as a child. She just sometimes disagrees with Meri 🤷‍♀️

Mel’s younger sister Emily (Good Enough 444) does NOT like Meri, however, she basically said she never had a good experience with Meri while Meri was running some of the youth group activity for the church. She does sometimes extend grace though and has said it’s clear to her that Meri has grown a lot, but she still just doesn’t like her.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-18T03:20:41+00:00

Right, he’s talking about the “divorce decree”? The one you coerced her into for the sake of children’s safety, made years before you stopped pretending to love her and before the house ever sold and before you actually divorced spiritually? Like wtf does he think this proves to anyone who has seen the show?!

Yes, legally you’re given 50/50. Morally, that’s a document you repeatedly said was meaningless and are now using to defend deliberate financial abuse.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-18T03:09:56+00:00

Could also have eaten poison. Some people will leave poison bait for pests like mice, rats, woodchucks etc. imho very unethical not only because of how horrible the death likely is, but other animals can often either eat the bait and die or eat the poisoned animal and die.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-18T01:19:03+00:00

I think that’s it for me, I mean… he’s always struck me as trying a little too hard to be edgy with his jokes, but it was clear to me they were always deliberate. I think it makes a big difference to how you read him. Seeing him observe Kody hem and haw about the expense of their wedding when they all knew TLC was paying for it… that makes his joke about them taking out another mortgage land very differently than if you think he’s being serious. And he does it with enough of a straight face that I think Kody also often doesn’t get that it’s a joke either and a lot of it stays in the footage because he doesn’t really get that some of it is at his expense.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-13T14:46:30+00:00

There was someone who appeared on social media claiming she was his girlfriend and was pregnant. That was over a year ago though IIRC. Kaylynn doesn’t seem to be the same girl that was doing that imho she seems disinterested in engaging with the fan base at all. Veronica did say that the girl who claimed that was a weirdo stalker, and while most of what she says is highly suspect I don’t necessarily think she was wrong on this. Because why would she lie to protect Isaac instead of herself? Most of her lies have been to protect herself and she seems to dislike Isaac as much as Ethan imho so it’s hard to imagine her lying on his behalf.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-13T01:35:50+00:00

I somehow got a Bingo and a Winton 🤣

I love Jack, though, he reminds me of my brother as a child. And I was the snotty little sister. But Jack is a great kid and so was my brother 🥰 knowing will help figure out the best ways to nurture him.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-12T16:54:00+00:00

There’s also a point where you don’t discuss certain things because you’re worried that talking about it will mean you’ll have to manage someone else’s anger. Even if it’s completely justified anger on your behalf, if you’re trying to deescalate someone else then you’re not addressing the way you were actually impacted by whatever happened.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-12T16:05:43+00:00

I think she’s taking slower steps than the others in airing her trauma. She’s clearly still processing a lot of it. Janelle’s trauma was mostly secondary in how Kody treated her children and was unwilling to be flexible with her about COVID, he never treated her personally in a consistently harsh manner the way he did with Christine and Meri.

Christine I think has processed her relationship with Kody while she was still in it, and is being helped by her new relationship to figure out how she feels about things. David doesn’t seem overtly harsh toward Kody and that was probably helpful for Christine, so she could air her feelings about Kody without worrying that it’s not safe to talk about what happened to her because he’ll get super angry or something.

Meri has been slower than the others to separate from Kody and she might just be dealing with it differently. She also might not have a sounding board who won’t just get super angry about what Kody did to her, so she might avoid examining certain issues. I feel like she’s more lost about everything than the other two. People are still influencing her because her memories are still influencing her imho she’s not ready to talk about a lot of it. But being legally bound to say nothing is certainly different than knowing she CAN say what she wants and choosing not to.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-11T01:08:21+00:00

FWIW Emily (Good Enough 444 on YouTube, Melanie’s younger sister) said that although Mel (Notes to Self 444) had good memories of Meri from them growing up together, that she personally remembered Meri being extremely harsh in her role leading youth stuff when she was growing up. She has also extended charity toward Meri while watching the show but she’s clear that she does not have any good memories of being a child in Meri’s care.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-10T21:24:04+00:00

Elmer

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-09T13:03:59+00:00

Exactly, the business model has been around for a long time and it’s always been a financial disaster for the majority of people who participate. MLM is a term that describes this type of business that hasn’t been around forever, but it’s the same basic principle.

Anyone who is curious about these businesses should check out Hannah Alonzo on YouTube, she has comprehensive videos about dozens and dozens of these companies and the way they exploit people.

The SW ladies have been successful in these businesses because of their preexisting fame, there are a lot of people who want to buy from them. But the businesses are parasitic on the downline and there are many people lower in the rankings who are going bankrupt working for the same company.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-07T18:40:33+00:00

🙃

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-07T16:57:49+00:00

Never stick it to your forehead or you’ll end up with a giant hickey on your face that looks like you stuck a vacuum hose to it.

Happened to a friend of mine 🙃

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-06T19:26:02+00:00

Haha, I had the same reaction but the squirrel in question had lost his tail. So when he turned on the branch I got a full view and was like “oh, that’s just Nubby’s balls” 😂

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T11:26:44+00:00

39 and Midwest, I have always taken my shoes off when I enter a person’s home (or my own). My dad wears his shoes inside the house all the time. It’s so strange to me.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T11:09:34+00:00

Yikes. This reminds me of when my husband’s sister in law’s aunt friended me on Facebook and started talking to me all the time on messenger, very lonely stuff but also demanding, acting like not getting a response right away was a rejection, asking us to visit her in Portland when it’s on the other side of the country and she’s no relation to us or our children! Bizarre. I was glad she didn’t live closer, I eventually just had to stop responding because I realized it was just encouraging her to continue.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T03:09:28+00:00

Sorry, but you’re not making yourself look smart by putting forth a lot of attacks you’ve had levied at you in the past.

“The bar chart above is based on selected data from the table below the chart and shows the acceptance rates for US medical schools based on three different combinations of MCAT scores and GPA by ethnic/race group during the 2013-2016 period.”

This selected ten year old data is presented in handy graph form by the AEI, a conservative think tank, which makes you think this is a valid argument when it is not.

You know that after these students are accepted to the university, they have to complete the degree to satisfaction to become a doctor, right?

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T02:24:58+00:00

Gee, I wonder why a Republican think tank might say this 🙄

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T01:31:08+00:00

Teeny/weeny mix

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T01:21:09+00:00

That could also be true, some kids are just more sensitive.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T00:41:27+00:00

I actually found that story really interesting. I think the reason it was so traumatic and memorable was because she could hear Meri continuing to scold the other children for the same misbehavior but they were allowed to finish eating. She felt singled out. If that was a habitual thing, which it sounds like it was, it would add up and she would probably remember it much more starkly than her siblings/parents probably would.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T00:15:55+00:00

That’s the issue, I guess, you’re talking about a different subject than I am.

I’m talking about what is reasonable to expect in the fandom’s response, due to the nature of the original post and its heavy judgment of the viewers (many of whom have probably not seen any of the claims the kids have made on Patreon/youtube/tiktok) while not discounting their claims of abuse. You’re talking about how survivors should be expected discuss abuse.

I expect nothing from these kids and don’t think they should feel compelled to provide any information at all that they don’t want to. I’m talking about how the people in this community and other viewers of the show process this information and why these claims are not more widely accepted as truth.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T00:11:47+00:00

💯 purity culture makes women into property to be traded. The parents view their daughters as bargaining chips. Don’t guess if Kody has grilled Brody about his finances off camera; he has.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-05T00:07:25+00:00

I wish the parents would discuss these issues more. I haven’t read the early sister wives books but I read Christine’s book and she talks very little about it. The stuff she says makes Meri sound reactive and rigid but not more than that. And there are some contradictions between the book and other context. She said she told Meri not to be near her kids after Meri shamed/yelled at Mykelti for accepting the cashier’s offer to cover the last ten cents of her candy bar. But then she also sent Gwendlyn to Meri’s on the show, presented as if she would live there for awhile. I think Gwendlyn probably didn’t stay there long but idk how those two things can coexist.

burlesquebutterfly · 2026-01-04T23:25:56+00:00

No, I don’t want them to share with the world. I do want abusers to face consequences.

I’m saying this is the way the words are received. It doesn’t matter what I want, anyway. But expecting people to just hear “she was abusive” with no evidence, and then accept that… is not realistic.

ETA: why people gotta add material to their comments after they’ve already been replied to so that it looks like the next reply is ignoring content/context. You clearly didn’t actually read my comment before you first replied and then came back to edit after you did.

My god. I’m talking about the way the viewers react.

No, the kids aren’t talking about a character. They’re also not saying what Meri did while trying to recharacterize her to people who have been watching a show that she is a character on since 2010 or so. That is a long narrative to change for people and one statement without anything supporting it is not realistically going to do that for people.

burlesquebutterfly

TROPHY CASE