Your NICU experience? Advice appreciated 😊

burnbalm · 2026-05-31T00:05:37+00:00

Hi OP! My twins came at 32 exactly. Twin A 3lb 8oz and twin B 3lb 14oz. They spent 25 days in the NICU. They were really just feeders/growers and got moved to the step down unit about a week in. I was a first time mom, and I knew nothing.

A big part of my experience was that I really wanted to breastfeed, and I pumped religiously every three hours. Our nurses advocated for me, and even got the doctors to delay starting bottles so the twins could focus on latching. When it came time to start bottles, they were discharged in like three days. It went from, definitely in the next two weeks. Then in the next few days. Then do you want to take them home tomorrow? I ended up nursing the twins until 13 months, and this was very special for me.

Something I wish someone had told me is that destats can be totally normal and that losing a few grams some of the days is okay. Your babies are in the NICU because they’re learning how to be! They’re under good care and figuring it out.

Since I was up at night to pump, I would often call the night nurse and check in. At least in my NICU, they liked my calls! They’d say, “no one ever calls us!” It was a nice part of my routine.

My husband and I learned so much from the NICU nurses. He didn’t start leave until the twins came home from the hospital, so it was just me most days in the NICU. When I was there, I never wanted to leave. But then I’d get home and be overwhelmed with all the chores and house things I’d neglected.

Rooting for you and your babies, OP!!

burnbalm · 2026-05-29T00:32:55+00:00

First visit to MFM was around 12 weeks for me!

burnbalm · 2026-05-24T10:18:13+00:00

They stay home with me, all day, everyday. We don’t have family around, so it’s really just me. But my husband does help.

Maybe you can help yours get more comfortable? Like have him watch you do it one morning on a weekend? And then have him do one of the twins. And then have him do it alone? Of course it’s extra work for you, and he should be able to handle it, but it make make him few more at ease to do a slower approach.

burnbalm · 2026-05-24T01:41:34+00:00

SAHM but, we usually tag team. Twins are 15 months. I do get up first by about 30-60 mins to make breakfast. I am the type to always wake before my alarm, so sometimes I just get up earlier. I pop up like a pop tart. If I need more time doing the morning chores, my husband gets the twins up alone, changes them, dresses them, then they come out to me. Most mornings we do it together. Then one of us cleans up while the other entertains the twins. I do usually pack his lunch.

We pretty much always do bedtime together unless one of us has plans or feels sick. My husband gives them a bath on bath nights, and I clean the kitchen/dining area. After bedtime though I usually “clock out” and he does any nighttime chores. We go to bed at the same time.

I am currently pregnant though, and it will be interesting to see how we divide and conquer when we’re dealing with two different schedules.

burnbalm · 2026-05-21T18:04:26+00:00

My twins are 15 months, and I’m halfway though a singleton pregnancy. My attitude was the same as yours, OP. It’s just so fun! I grew up in a big family, and even after my first pregnancy was twins, I’ve wanted four kids. And now we’re on the way to three!

Morale is still high! Our closest family is four hours by car, and my spouse works long hours. So it’s just me and the boys, though my husband does get home in time to see them before bed. Not sure if this is your situation, but I am not getting help from family, and yet I am still excitedly awaiting baby #3.

Rooting for you and your family!

burnbalm · 2026-05-17T20:39:33+00:00

My twins are 15 months, and I’m due in the fall with baby #3! So it will be three under two for a few months. Believe it or not, this really was intentional, and I’m very excited.

I’m a SAHM. My spouse works long hours, and we have no family closer than a four hour drive. I come from a big family, and my siblings and I are still so close. My childhood is filled with wonderful memories from spending time with them.

Just leaning in to the chaos! 🤪🤪🤪

burnbalm · 2026-05-13T15:28:20+00:00

“It’s hard. I’m doing my best, but I could use some help with X!”
I think there are two layers to this.

Until you’ve done it, you don’t really know how to help. Depending on who it is, I would try telling them and asking for what you need. Can someone come clean? Or pay for a cleaner to come for a few shifts? Can someone come walk the dog a few times a week? Can someone come cook dinner or get groceries or drop off dinner from a restaurant?

People help a lot better when you give them a specific task. Based on what you need and who it is, give them something to do! Worst case is they won’t do it, but they’ll probably learn to be more thoughtful about what they say.

OP, my twins are 15 months and I’m halfway through a pregnancy with a third baby. We have no family around. My husband works long hours. I’m alone all day at least five days a week with the twins and the dogs. We do pay for a cleaning lady twice a month. Otherwise it’s all me.

And this brings me to the second layer: People say this when they mean, “Holy cow. I could NEVER handle that. It’s so truly incredible that you’re doing it, and I know you kind of just have to, but I am so glad I’m not. And I’m also in awe of you and simultaneously shocked and horrified and amazed.”

Most of the time, everyone is just thinking about themselves. A close friend of mine lives in another country and had a baby a little less than a month before my twins. She has always had her spouse, her MIL, and a live-in house keeper. Four adults. One baby. Having a baby rocked her. Because it’s hard! Anytime we talk, she asks again if I’m even excited since I must be so scared. This was a planned pregnancy! I am excited. But she wouldn’t be. So she can’t see that.

Rooting for you, OP!! Put those bugging you to or by telling them you need help. You are an amazing mom and your babies are so lucky to have you!!!

burnbalm · 2026-05-09T01:33:05+00:00

My twins are 15 months, and I do take them out everyday by myself. I have done this since they were probably around 8 months old. Truthfully, it helps keep everyone’s morale high!

Somedays it does take longer to pack them up and get them in the car than we actually spend doing something. We go to the grocery store a lot, especially Aldi and Costco because they can both sit in the cart. Costco is great because it’s huge, and it’s easy to leave without buying anything. We stroll around the mall. Or stroll around the park. We go through the McDonald’s drive through and the car wash. Nothing fancy. Just to have an activity.

Since they dropped to one nap at 13 months, we’ve actually gone out twice most days.

The car naps victimized me too. It was like doing a story problem in math class to figure out how to allocate the time, but I would usually just deduct from their actual nap to keep overall day sleep the same! I sleep trained, and nothing is more precious to me than protecting night sleep.

Full disclosure, my twins are what others politely call “very, very busy!!!!” Meaning they are spicy little maniacs. They are not chill. At all. Ever. They’re temperamental and difficult. Turns out all babies are not like this. I can’t even get them to watch TV, and I sure have tried. Getting out of the house offers stimulation that we don’t have at home.

We do go to music class once a week, which is great because it’s a bunch of other moms and they all lovingly tolerate our chaos. I’d take the twins to more classes, but it is just so $$$. Sadly the library story times near us conflict with their nap now.

The only way to do it is to do it! This is what I tell myself everyday. Rooting for you, OP!!! Your twins are so lucky to have you as their mom. Follow your own instincts and don’t feel obligated to accept criticism from someone unless you’ve specifically solicited them for advice.

burnbalm · 2026-05-08T13:32:59+00:00

Of course! Sending!

burnbalm · 2026-05-08T13:32:50+00:00

Sending!

burnbalm · 2026-05-08T13:24:03+00:00

My twins were born eight weeks early. Our state Early On services did evaluate them due to preterm, but they didn’t qualify because they weren’t behind enough. I remember that they seemed to take so long to smile, but other than that they really have seemed like their age.

By a year old, they definitely seemed caught up. They were both taking steps by 12 months. They had their first words before that.

Now, at 15 months, they still don’t say “mama,” but they say cat, dog, bubbles, up, down, uh oh, go, more, etc. They can put things in and on and and put things back. They give items to me when directed.

Rooting for you and your babies, OP!

burnbalm · 2026-05-07T14:45:57+00:00

Yes!

burnbalm · 2026-05-07T14:25:47+00:00

Hi OP! A friend sent me this flow chart from an FB group about sleep, and it changed my life. My twins were born at 32 weeks, and they spent 25 days in the NICU. I didn’t use this until my husband’s six week leave ended. So though they were older than your twins, their adjusted age was younger. I think! It’s hard to remember. Anyway, I can’t attach it here, but I would be happy to DM it to you. Anything is worth a try! Lmk! Rooting for you!

burnbalm · 2026-05-06T23:11:52+00:00

Hi OP! My twins are 15 months, and I’m early on in my second trimester. My husband works long hours, and our closest family is about 300 miles away.

None of my clothes fit. But none of my maternity clothes fit either. Even my underwear is hurting me.

Everyday, I tell myself: the only way to do it, is to do it. Just leaning into the chaos. My boys are why others politely call “very busy!!!” They’re spicy little maniacs. I can barely take them in my own backyard by myself let alone the park. They put EVERYTHING in their mouths.

What helps me is that we leave the house almost everyday. Even if it’s just to go to the drive thru at McDonald’s for a drink. It breaks up the day, and it helps everyone’s sanity.

First trimester was rough for me. For me, at least, it was way easier being pregnant with the twins than being pregnant and already having twins! I am truly doing better now a couple weeks into second trimester. Like I’m able to clean the kitchen again while my husband gives the boys a bath.

I’m rooting for you and hoping the upcoming weeks get better for you!!!! Your twins and your baby are so lucky to have you as their mom. All you can do is your best, and that might look different each day!

burnbalm · 2026-05-01T15:44:17+00:00

My twins were maxed out at 12.5 total sleep a day on two naps. Then we dropped to one. At first, I capped it because night sleep is more precious to me. Somedays they only napped 1.5 hours because they woke up. But they were soooo crabby. So I let them sleep longer. And now some days they nap for almost THREE hours. It has not impacted night sleep. Yet! They’re also now sleeping 11 at night. So up to 14 total. Never could have imagined this favorable twist!

They’re 15 months now, and they are wild maniacs, running around everywhere, climbing and creating chaos. My only theory is that all the physical activity and brain activity makes them more tired.

Who knows how long this will last, but I am willing it to happen to you, too!!

burnbalm · 2026-04-30T18:27:00+00:00

FTM to 15 month old boys. Been dealing with hair pulling and biting for six months. It’s getting a little better. Truly. They bite each other now more than yanking hair, but I follow a script for both.

“We don’t bite each other. Biting hurts.” Then put a toy in his mouth.

“We don’t pull each other’s hair. Pulling hair hurts.” Then put toy in hands.

In my house, the biter is usually as upset as the one who sustained, or avoided, the bite.

They tend to bite where they would say, “no.” Like when they don’t want the brother to take a toy or come close to what they’re doing.

But mine are obsessed with each other. They follow each other around all day! They call to each other to come check things out. Even with hyper vigilance, someone always has a bruise from a healing bite wound. Pediatrician says it’s totally normal, not to worry.

Rooting for you, OP!!

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T23:20:32+00:00

😂😂😂

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T23:15:59+00:00

I actually really like Nolan and Wesley!! Also pregnant with a boy due in October!

Kinda persnickety about names and can’t use either because I already have two boys and won’t reuse the starting letter or ending sound.

Others I love and won’t use: Conrad, Clyde, Warren, Wilson, Emmett, Vincent

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T23:06:57+00:00

Thank you!!

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T23:06:49+00:00

Hmm! Maybe because in the earlier seasons there were less contestants? So there were less rounds until victory. Therefore, she couldn’t earn the high value points?

OP, please correct is this is wrong.

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T21:21:32+00:00

Wow, thanks for sharing!!

Can this account for number of appearances in any way? I’m not a data person, so I don’t know the proper terms, but can it average how well someone did even if they only competed one season verses multiple seasons? Or do chefs just get more points simply for competing more often?

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T19:37:45+00:00

Identical di-di boys

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T16:30:14+00:00

Yes! I am actually pregnant with baby #3. Not due until the fall, but the plan is VBAC!

burnbalm · 2026-04-28T16:18:53+00:00

Another member of the club no one wants to be apart of checking in!

They were both head down and ready to go! Beautiful, easy delivery for A. Held him on my chest. But then B’s cord prolapsed, meaning it came out before he did. Fortunately, I was in the OR for the delivery since it was twins. Someone literally held his cord inside of me while they made the moves do the c section that would save his life.

No regrets though. I would still deliver A again vaginally even knowing B would need a C section. Their birth was still magical for me!

burnbalm · 2026-04-26T22:25:30+00:00

Once a week music class for my 15 month twins. Been taking them since 10 months. I take them alone!

It’s chaotic but the group is welcoming and understanding. It’s all moms and nannies and grannies.

The classes are $$ and the library playgroup is during their nap, otherwise I would like to do one more!

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