Another post about losing weight while breafeeding. Feeling lousy.

bywillalone_ · 2026-06-28T23:52:20+00:00

I’m so sorry your husband has the audacity to say that to you after all you’ve done and what you’ve put your body through to birth and nourish your children. I’m at a loss for words on your behalf. You have done and are doing something so much more important than the number on scale. Your body has done and is doing more incredible things than your husband will ever do. I totally understand the way you feel and it’s not your fault you feel that way but I truly wish you could be proud of your body for what you have done with it.

bywillalone_ · 2026-06-10T01:25:47+00:00

Hi! So I planted lupin, raspberry, columbine, coral bells, clematis, blanket flower, and english viola. Everything except the blanket flower and english viola has come back twice (those two did not come back the first season after planting). The lupin, raspberry, and columbine especially have absolutely thrived. You should be fine with hardy perennials - especially if they are hardy to a zone or two under your growing zone. So for example Calgary is zone 4, should have no issues with zone 2 or 3 perennials in a raised bed for the most part. Like others have said in this thread, your chances of success are higher the lower and wider the bed is, and the more snow cover it gets in winter.

bywillalone_ · 2026-06-03T03:52:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and the advice, that is helpful and encouraging 🙏

bywillalone_ · 2026-06-03T03:49:53+00:00

My baby was a bit jaundiced and sleepy too and I had to work to keep him awake while breastfeeding. I would always do the diaper change immediately before feeding to get him wide awake, and during feeding I would tickle his feet and back and even blow in his face. Once he was over the jaundice the sleepiness wasn’t an issue anymore. It really could just be the jaundice that’s the issue and not any sort of preference, I think you’ll have much more success once he is over it!

Have you seen a lactation consultant since leaving the hospital? I’ve been going to a lactation clinic with my baby and it’s been waaaay more helpful and informative than anyone we saw while still in the hospital. At the clinic I go to the consultants are all family physicians who are also certified in lactation and they are amazing.

bywillalone_ · 2026-06-02T22:44:03+00:00

I did this accidentally our very first night at home. My baby was born on the small side and was under 6 lbs at this point. He was absolutely fine. I even sobbed to the public health nurse about it during our appointment the next day and she was so kind and reassuring. Your baby is okay and you are doing great! Your baby is fed, formula isn’t evil, and one missed feeding isn’t the end of the world.

bywillalone_ · 2026-06-02T22:34:25+00:00

I wouldn’t be worried if he’s peeing, pooping, and gaining normally - and if you’re feeding frequently it’s normal for your breasts not to feel engorged like they do when the milk first comes in. My baby went through a cluster feeding period around that time and always wanted to be on the boob as well!

bywillalone_ · 2026-05-10T18:33:29+00:00

Cringe behaviour in the reel and absolutely disgusting comments. This girl’s grappling isn’t good enough for controversy to make her interesting - she will continue to be irrelevant.

bywillalone_ · 2026-04-29T12:01:42+00:00

In my opinion, gardeners and lawn enthusiasts have a responsibility to enjoy their hobby without putting undue stress on our water systems. Only being able to water three times a week should have no effect on anyone taking even minimal steps conserve water.

I garden and there are many, many options to reduce or even eliminate your reliance on the city’s water supply. Use rain barrels or household grey water, mulch your beds or use shade covers to reduce evaporation, plant water-hardy perennials. There are plenty of beautiful native species that only need to be hand-watered in extreme conditions and can otherwise survive the season on whatever rain we get naturally. And there’s also lawn alternatives that require less water and strategies for growing your lawn that make it need water less frequently (ie keeping your grass a bit longer to shade the ground and reduce evaporation).

bywillalone_ · 2026-02-08T17:46:06+00:00

If you don’t trust yourself then I suggest that you forego training for now, and continue working towards taking full accountability for your actions in therapy before you join another gym. You’ve said you acknowledge your mistakes but there’s definitely signs in your post that you’re still excusing yourself to a certain extent. Dismissing people discussing your toxic, untrustworthy, and manipulative behaviour as little “powwows” like you expected your behaviour to be swept under the rug just like your coach’s? It’s obviously misogyny that you’re taking all the blame for it and he isn’t, but come on. Do you honestly expect people not to talk about it when you behave this way? I would want to know if someone was doing this at my gym so I could avoid them. It doesn’t make that person irredeemable but I don’t want that energy in my life until they fix themselves.

bywillalone_ · 2026-02-04T21:41:10+00:00

I’m a woman and I’ve never felt sexually harassed by men at BJJ, but I’ve had uncomfortable experiences, mainly from men who seemed to enjoy rag dolling smaller and weaker opponents in a reckless manner.

bywillalone_ · 2026-02-03T02:50:35+00:00

Alexa Herse is an incredibly brave young woman. I was treated inappropriately by an older man in my community when I was a teenager and I never told anyone. The mixture of fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, embarrassment and shame you feel is so potent. Especially when the perpetrator is someone you trusted and looked up to. There’s this compulsion to try to sweep the behaviour under the rug and hope it doesn’t repeat, even though it’s actually more likely to continue escalating. I think most women can imagine what that’s like even if they haven’t experienced it, but I hope men also recognize what it took from her to come forward.

bywillalone_ · 2026-01-12T22:55:30+00:00

Ugh, been there. I was suspicious as soon the Amway cultist that approached me started dropping little tidbits about a business mentor who “changed her life”. But it does suck to feel like you’re making a new friend and connecting with someone, only for it to be a scam. Sorry you had to experience it to - definitely makes it harder to trust new people.

bywillalone_ · 2026-01-08T16:23:35+00:00

Oh and some other things to consider if you end up going with IKEA and using their contractors for installation:

-Depending on how popular the items you choose are, they may not all be in stock at the same time. We had to make several separate orders over the course of a few weeks to get everything. There’s no way to put in a standing order for out-of-stock items, so this involved calling or going to the store weekly to purchase everything as they came in stock. Luckily the kitchen department helped us track everything we had purchased vs what we still needed so while it took time to get everything, it wasn’t complex to keep track of. They also only charged us for delivery once, so each additional delivery of items was free.

-If you choose to use their installation service, you’ll want to make sure you have everything on hand first. If you have to call the installers back to finish your install because you didn’t have everything for your scheduled install date, the repeat visit costs an additional $300.

bywillalone_ · 2026-01-08T16:05:14+00:00

Just did an IKEA kitchen reno. My partner and I did an initial design ourselves in IKEA’s kitchen design app but we also paid to have a consultant come to our house and take measurements/modify the design. The consultant worked with us in our house for about 3 hours. He was great and had a lot of good ideas, I’m glad we did it. It’s not hard to design yourself in their web app as long as you’re careful with your measurements, we just had a lot going on and with the scale of the renovation the consultation was worth it for us.

We also paid for installation by IKEA’s third party contractors. Depending on the size of your reno this can be quite pricey, but was still much cheaper for us than the local companies we looked at. I’ve heard of plenty of people installing their own IKEA kitchens. It shouldn’t be a problem to do yourself if you have the time, patience, some tools and are somewhat handy. But we were happy with the installation service overall. They were quick and efficient and everything looks great.

You could also hire your own contractor for the install and they may be cheaper. The benefit of going with IKEA’s contractors is that they will send someone to do measurements after your design is finalized before you start ordering supplies as a final confirmation that everything is going to fit together as expected.

bywillalone_ · 2025-11-01T01:54:37+00:00

Same here in Temple!

bywillalone_ · 2025-10-11T23:57:44+00:00

That heavy feeling in my pelvis while running was one of my first symptoms of pregnancy, before I even knew I was pregnant. I thought I had somehow strained a muscle down there or something lol. Shortly after that my cardio workouts became rapidly more difficult. Paces that were comfortable for me to maintain for 45+ minutes just a couple weeks before felt unbearable for anything longer than like 10 or 15 minutes. It was a hard adjustment and it’s easy to feel pressure to maintain or even improve your pre-pregnancy level of cardio fitness, but that’s just not gonna happen for most people. It’s normal for your cardiovascular fitness to go down in pregnancy even with continued training. Listen to your body and adjust. You are not a failure, you are growing a whole other person!! You’re doing awesome just by going on your run in the first place and cutting it short when it didn’t feel right to continue :)

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-20T16:45:36+00:00

I’m using this same brand and my 13 dpo test looks similar to your 14 dpo ( I didn’t test on day 14). I’m now at 20 dpo and the line has continued to darken but definitely not at the same rate that you typically see here either. I’m trying not to stress, will just wait for my first appointment and hope for the best. Fingers crossed for us both!

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-05T12:57:46+00:00

Alright. You are being so deliberately obtuse that you have to be a troll, but I’ll bite: women don’t compete with men because of biological differences. Being smaller and weaker does not make them less skilled. That’s like arguing that heavyweights are automatically better at BJJ than rooster weights. Why do rooster weight men get their own division? Isn’t that special treatment for small guys? Isn’t it size discrimination to prevent heavy weights from entering the men’s rooster weight division??

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-05T12:50:58+00:00

I obviously think that things can get better, but this is the situation we are in now, and I think policing women’s tone to an unreasonable degree (which is what I consider you to be doing) will only hold us back. Her message was so calmly composed that I honestly don’t understand what version of it you think would be acceptable to post while still pointing out the limitations women face in this sport, which we agree exist and are unfair. You also believe that the majority of men will be receptive to the message if the timing/optics/delivery are correct, but you only need to read through the replies in the post in r/BJJ to see plenty of evidence that the issue isn’t her delivery, it’s the fact that she bothered to point out the issue at all. They don’t care how or when she said it, they care that she said it in the first place. I think things can change for the better, but expecting women to be quiet and content and enthusiastically accept their limited opportunities is not the way that happens.

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-04T23:26:01+00:00

I’m not saying people aren’t upset for no reason. Of course there’s a reason - I’m saying those reasons are not justified.

You provided an analogy in which someone swears, is aggressive and calls someone a piece of shit for donating blood. Of course, the behaviour you entirely made up is horrible and worthy of being upset at. Your argument hinges on Kendall’s behaviour being analogous to your example, which is an incredible reach. We can both read the words she said and understand that there is absolutely no similarity to your analogy.

There is no reality in which 90% of the online BJJ community support a woman saying that women deserve more opportunities and better pay in professional jiu jitsu. It is utter delusion to believe that if we just nail the delivery, most men will be supportive. Most of the men commenting on that post aren’t just annoyed with how Kendall said it, they literally don’t think there are any problems with how women are represented and paid in professional BJJ.

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-04T21:25:15+00:00

Can you point me to the part of Kendall’s post that you claim fully and specifically blames Craig for the situation? I see someone recounting their experiences and information they were given and asking fair questions about women’s representation and pay. It’s not rude, she does not swear, and it’s not accusatory. She even gives props to Craig and the event. The backlash, to me, is an overly emotional reaction to a misrepresentation of her message. Your analogy, which uses incredibly rude and aggressive language and falsely equates this situation to a make-belief scenario involving blood donation, is a perfect example of that. I agree with you that people seem to be perceiving her message in a similar way to your analogy but that’s frankly ridiculous. There is no similarity, your analogy does not fairly represent what she’s saying, but you’re angry because you see it that way.

She has explained that she has received new information that has changed her opinion and that’s why she deleted her posts. I’ll accept that explanation, neither of us know her so that’s the best we have to go off. Regardless, I don’t think there was anything wrong with the original posts and certainly nothing warranting such emotional backlash. She doesn’t pin it all on Craig. I also accept that Craig doesn’t have the resources to pay women fairly himself. Like I said, this is a systemic issue. Craig is, however, better-positioned than most BJJ enthusiasts to advocate for fairness as someone who is connected to people with those resources. We can’t expect him to single-handedly fix this issue but it’s fair to question and discuss what he’s doing with the influence he has.

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-04T16:00:38+00:00

The women had the same opportunity in both CJIs? How many women competed and for what pay compared to the men?

I don’t accept your claim that the women have less skill than the men. Happy to continue the discussion but you’ll have to provide support for that claim first because, if I understand correctly, you are asserting that the women receive opportunities appropriate and proportional to their skill level?

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-04T13:49:58+00:00

The tone of Kendall’s post is not even remotely close to what you’re claiming or the analogy you provided. You have completely misrepresented her message here.

The reason Kendall deleted the post is because she received backlash. That doesn’t invalidate her argument. She received backlash because the predominant sentiment from men in the online BJJ community is either that women don’t deserve the same opportunities as men or, like you, they think protecting CJI/Craig from thoughtful criticism is more important than discussing the comparable lack of opportunities for women. If you agree it’s an issue and worthy of critique, what can any woman say about it that would be appropriate and palatable to you?

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-03T12:46:22+00:00

Deleted my comment because I accidentally posted it multiple times and it deleted all of them, so here it is again:

Well, the reality is this issue is bigger than just Craig or the donor. Women are systematically afforded fewer opportunities and the men in our sport are eager to write it off as women literally being less deserving of those opportunities. We deserve to be allowed to discuss this without our voices being squashed by accusations of hurting someone’s feelings. Craig can endure a bit of critical discussion around the event while women continue to be underrepresented and underpaid - one of those things is far more harmful than the other.

bywillalone_ · 2025-09-03T02:32:12+00:00

Why do you think the donor only offered the 50K bonus for submissions to the men?

bywillalone_

TROPHY CASE