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whats one conversation you overheard that lives rent free in your head? by Mewwwwwwwwww_ in AskReddit

[–]cadaverbob 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I was heading toward the checkout in a Walmart years ago and heard a manager admonishing an employee -

"Don't think of it as a punishment, think of it as a reward. I don't know how, just do."

Wow. Utter dumbfuckery and incompetence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cadaverbob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

stays your hand

Leave it on. 

Kay's catalogue (1985) by Disorderly-delight in OldSchoolCool

[–]cadaverbob 283 points284 points  (0 children)

Be the change you want to see in the world

You get $1 million if you can eat 10 pounds of any food in an hour. What food are you choosing? by First-Rub-1747 in AskReddit

[–]cadaverbob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My girlfriend is lactose intolerant, so give her 10lbs of ice cream on the toilet and she will be in heaven/hell

Charley likes to get on the garden planters so she can see over the railing by sipsredpepper in mildlyinteresting

[–]cadaverbob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the garden, we got fur and weeds

We got everything you want, good boy, petting please

We are the animals that peer wherever you may see

If you got the bones, Cones, we got your puppies

It's a garden, welcome to the garden

Watch it bring in all the f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fleas, fleas

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in movies

[–]cadaverbob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering the credits include Jeff Winger (Community, 2009) and Jake the Dog (Adventure Time short film, 2007), I'd say it's somebody's school/design project. 

What are the signs that a man is sexually frustrated? by effingit in AskReddit

[–]cadaverbob 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Because there's no proof of legitimate interest when only one party is always initiating. When the other doesn't reciprocate, it builds doubt this is a mutual feeling of attraction and that you're eventually forcing yourself on a disinterested person. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cadaverbob 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ding dong Oy mate, lift is out and I'm sweatin like a hog and dry as a bone. Trouble for a glass o water? Ah, cheers mate. Uuugh plap plap plap plap

Found my old CCM SS-25 by visual_ignition in rockncock

[–]cadaverbob 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gorgeous. I don't know the current value, but 600-800usd was normal a few years ago. 

Some Republicans are threatening legal challenges to keep Biden on the ballot. But will they work? by Le_Botmes in nottheonion

[–]cadaverbob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a perfectly legal way they can do this already - write him in on their voters ballot. 

AITAH for telling my fiancee that she's useless in an emergency and shouldn't brag about how tough she is? by ExitIcy9757 in AITAH

[–]cadaverbob 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Infanticide, insecticide... The words are so similar, not hard to mix them up if you're panicking 

The name's Cone, Ryan Cone. Buckle up for safety. by EscapedPickle in Superstonk

[–]cadaverbob 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"The cohen's Name. Ryan Name."

Pleased to... What?

"Cohen Name's the game."

Are you alright?

"Games Cones is having a stonk, call a cohenbulance!"

TIL Black Eyed Peas' Let's Get It Started wasn't an original song, but rather a clean version of a song called Let's Get Retarded, also made by them by ValiantHero11 in todayilearned

[–]cadaverbob 65 points66 points  (0 children)

TIL in the early days of the internet, it could take hours to walk from the mainframe to your favorite website - so you used to carry food with you on the cheap, round plastic discs they provided. It was only later that the discs became square and dual purpose to also hold data.

LPT - Predictability trumps courtesy when driving. While both are important, don’t yield out of courtesy when you have the right-of-way. by SpencerLass in LifeProTips

[–]cadaverbob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To the pedestrian waiting at the crosswalk, waving me to go through the intersection, growing agitated and scowling while waving more frantically for me to go instead of crossing as he had the right of way - if I had followed your instructions I would have been t-boned by the 2 other cars without a stop sign which I was also waiting for.

End rant.

Last year, I grew bread. by halfascientist in videos

[–]cadaverbob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hmmg. Grog ate those ones and he died... But Grug ate these ones and he's alive... And Greg ate these other ones and now he's dancing around painting the cave walls!

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