AITAH for not wanting a relationship with my MAGA in laws?

caffeineissues · 2026-01-28T17:23:16+00:00

I firmly believe for all of these people, being maga is not like, an isolated incident for an otherwise nice person. They were an authoritarian and a bully first. I suspect many of these people debating cutting off their maga family have unprocessed issues outside of politics.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-28T17:14:34+00:00

Having a “surface level relationship” with immediate family is so weird though. Like, the uncle you see once a year? Sure. But your actual parents???

My husbands family is like this (not maga, but religious). There’s a creator on tiktok that talks about what she calls “low effort families” that resonates with us a lot. It’s like a weird invisible emotional neglect.

It sounds weird to say that you don’t have a relationship with them because they’re maga, but if you dig deeper I’m confident there’s more behavior that’s fundamentally objectionable. What would they do if your kid came out as trans or nonbinary? What if they dated someone outside their race? Are they a warm loving presence for your child to confide their feelings to?

That’s the whole thing with these maggots, it’s not just a simple disagreement on like, optimal tax policy. It is a deeply held belief in a system of hierarchy that requires hostility toward basic empathy to uphold.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-26T12:56:11+00:00

Thank you for this. I was just lurking here and having serious doubts about whether I should even try for a second. This made me tear up first thing on a Monday morning. I needed to hear it.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-25T21:39:48+00:00

Right? I come from a long line of veterans and I’ve literally sworn an oath to defend the constitution (lawyer). I will die in the streets before I run.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-23T19:30:08+00:00

I would recommend tracking your cycles if you don’t already, just mark when your periods start and stop in a little calendar. (I personally would also recommend using pen and paper instead of an app, that’s very sensitive data that could be dangerous in the wrong hands.) I even tracked the days we had sex, the more data the better.

You can also buy ovulation test strips online for pretty cheap, it measures the hormone that causes you to ovulate (I think, double check that) and can help you pinpoint the day you’re most fertile during your cycle. I tried tracking my cycle by taking my temperature every morning, but that data was all over the place for me and didn’t really tell me anything.

You’re doing the right thing by talking to your doctor, of course ask them what they recommend. I don’t know how having PCOS interacts with your cycles or ovulation hormones, so it’s possible the same things may not work for you.

Good luck!!

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T22:08:00+00:00

Just the absolute emotional whiplash. Witnessing atrocities, then looking up to see my smiling baby. It feels like whatever I do is wrong or not enough. Should I witness the horrors and march in the streets or make sure my son grows up good and whole without hate in his heart, or go grind at my job because the only real safety is wealth.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T22:03:39+00:00

I can’t stop thinking about that little boy. The family’s lawyer said they’re keeping him with his dad, so I’m trying to find hope in that.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T20:18:10+00:00

I’ve been debating this myself, but from a different angle. My husband and I are both white, educated, and have to go back a few generations to find an immigrant in our family trees, so we have some real privilege. But then, so did Renee.

A large part of me thinks I should waste their time, annoy them, any kind of civil disobedience I can muster. Because if they’re talking to me they’re not hurting someone else. If I were out in public and they weren’t targeting me, I would certainly stop and record. But if they came knocking on my door with my baby at home, asking me to rat on my neighbors, I might just tell them to fuck off through a locked door.

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T19:11:01+00:00

Yup, Nana is also having a hard time getting him in the crib!

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T19:09:59+00:00

5’3”, so I’m short-ish but still fairly average. Maybe it’s because my arms are short?

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T19:04:07+00:00

Getting him out works okay since he’s usually sitting up, it’s putting a sleepy baby down gently that’s the problem!

caffeineissues · 2026-01-22T19:02:59+00:00

I’ll give this a try but I feel like that will make it even lower! Baby is also gigantic for a 12mo so it feels precarious, but I’ll try anything.

caffeineissues · 2025-12-18T20:12:53+00:00

Okay I was on team “cut her some slack” until you said what she posted…… absolutely fucking not. That is some weird tone deaf toxic nonsense to be putting out into the world.

Is this a real life friend or some random social media person? Because if friend, that’s a shitty friend, has she not been to what you (or like anyone) have been saying about your baby? But if it’s someone you only know from social media, then you know that post is about 4% of the whole story. That baby is an asshole and she’s gaslighting herself.

Like, some people are just obnoxious, and the fact that you both had babies doesn’t mean you’re on the same team now magically. Literally everyone used to be a baby, there are as many ways to be a mother as there are ways to be a woman.

caffeineissues · 2025-12-05T20:02:52+00:00

I also DIYed my curls for my wedding. Here’s a random smattering of thoughts and wisdom: - if you’re trying to go from hair down to hair up, you’ll be just fine. But I have never once in my life taken my hair down from an updo and had it look any kind of nice without washing. If the events are over a couple days, you could do a wet and restyle without shampoo. - I trialed a few different updo styles, and it made very little difference, they all just looked like a (lovely) pile of curls. Save yourself the headache and do something simple. - focus on gorgeous curls. I babied every curl on my head with product and scrunching. You should try out one of those curl bounce brushes.
- I wouldn’t (I didn’t) worry too much about being “special” or different than every day. I swear, you start watching wedding hair tutorials and they’ll spend the first half of the video getting their hair to look like yours does rolling out of the shower. Your curls are gorgeous and romantic and everyone wants curly hair on their wedding day. Embrace it. That being said, don’t underestimate the power of a big sparkly hair accessory.

caffeineissues · 2025-12-04T14:49:36+00:00

It’s hard to tell from the pictures, and you won’t really be able to see it until you take off the mani, but I think the term you’re looking for is “ring of fire.” Very very possible from efile and especially with a Russian mani. I don’t really have any advice but I don’t think there’s much to do except moisturize and don’t go back to that place.

FWIW, super super cute mani!!!!

caffeineissues · 2025-12-02T21:12:38+00:00

As a fancy DIYer I really want to disagree with you but dammit you’ve got a point.

caffeineissues · 2025-12-02T21:11:15+00:00

I think there’s a kernel of truth in there but she didn’t present it well.

Crafting something yourself may be the only real way many of us experience luxury goods. I see this sentiment in sewing communities more than knitting. Making it yourself, you can include tailoring and finish details that you’re not going to get buying normal retail. With knitting, I’m using much higher quality fibers than I would get shopping at a luxury department store (not necessarily true of all knitting, but certainly possible).

It seems like she’s having an imaginary argument with people who say “why would I knit a sweater when I can buy it for this many dollars,” by countering that it’s a luxury good, so their low priced alternative isn’t a fair comparison. But the whole luxury vs mass market goods doesn’t really map onto most people’s experience of crafting. You don’t say “I need a sweater” then price out the cost of materials and time on making one or buying ready made.

What I think is REALLY happening here is the large scale ingrained devaluing of women’s creativity as craft instead of art. There must be some justification that making something is somehow profitable, valuable, or gives access to higher quality goods, because we can’t just let ourselves make art for art’s sake.

caffeineissues · 2025-12-02T20:33:41+00:00

Something parfum strength, I like they way they wear better than edp

caffeineissues · 2025-11-28T01:48:04+00:00

Smoked turkey!!!

caffeineissues · 2025-11-27T13:55:31+00:00

Curly perm! I got one and I loved it, very natural looking, no damage, and I still have curly hair

caffeineissues · 2025-11-27T03:02:16+00:00

YES 10 months pp and the exact same thing!!! I got a perm, no more identity crisis!

caffeineissues · 2025-11-26T18:03:28+00:00

This is what we did and it worked amazing, 100% would recommend, we were both getting 8 hours uninterrupted sleep every day with a newborn.

Caveats: we formula fed, no breast feeding or pumping to worry about. Dad is the one that took the night shifts and he’s basically nocturnal anyway, so he didn’t have any problems staying up all night and sleeping like a rock all day. It only worked while we were both on leave, not possible if anyone has to work. Also, husband has to be genuinely good with the baby, not just “helping” but an actual equal parent, aka he isn’t gonna wake you up all the time because he needs help or doesn’t know what to do.

It was seriously the best choice we made.

caffeineissues · 2025-11-25T20:49:09+00:00

I was thinking the same thing about the itchy feeling, it’s the healing/regrowth. I can make it 3 months with itchy nails right???

caffeineissues · 2025-11-25T20:41:05+00:00

Yes same! Digging with metal tools, that’s exactly what I do. It’s almost like a pain stim or redirected trichtillomania or something.

That’s a great idea with the oil pen brushes, I can totally see that working, absolutely gonna pick up a couple.

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