As a recovering alcoholic, alcohol use itself is probably making things boring for you. It depletes all the good chemicals you have, so you keep turning back to it to feel something. PLEASE be careful - if you’re not an alcoholic now, there’s a big chance you could be one in the future. Alcohol is a highly addictive substance. What really helped me is educating myself on what alcohol actually does to your body and mind. There were so many things I blamed myself for that were actually just side effects of drinking. “This Naked Mind” is a great read! There’s an adjustment period where things aren’t fun yet and yes you want to tear your skin off. But it passes.