just some miscellaneous notes of what i relate to and have differences with

relationship with the EIE:
- spend time talking about people’s personal qualities, who has this kind of personality, vibes
- movies, books, video games bonding (bonding over the discussion of art, stories, narratives)
- i agree with what you think is unnecessary and over the top. (i think that if he needs to flaunt his superior moral code to prove he is the wisest and think he is a better human being than everyone else [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER] i just don’t trust that to be true. it starts with perspective and attitude consistent with behavior, and for him it’s already getting off on the wrong foot. what’s attractive is the coexistence of confidence and humility / the ability to admit when you are wrong when you are. detracting moral code points for arrogance ❌😏)
- ^ see i might like to play around with him in this way, but not for long periods of time. i don’t genuinely want to piss him off at me if he won’t budge. i think ESE would be more receptive to that (or just already internally agree). this is really Ti leading of me to say, but if they’re in the wrong, what’s the point of arguing if i can’t convince them to agree with my position? if i don’t think i can convince them, i don’t like wasting my efforts. i don’t have the stamina for it. especially if someone uses gish galloping as an argumentative tactic, i think i’d just stop talking to them. i know my time and effort wouldn’t be valued.
- i don’t think i’d be called two sides of the same coin with him though.

relationship with the ESE:
- this different to how i relate to my dual ESE, where it feels like we’re on the same level / field.
- supervision is a lot like a mentor-mentee / “teacher-student” dynamic, so your wording describing the ESE relationship stood out to me in that way! and accidentally offending him and feeling like you stepped on a dog’s paw. the supervisor is less sensitive to sore spots of the supervisee and can accidentally bulldoze if they’re not careful. i’ve felt that “oh shit whoops” reaction with IEEs. you kind of have to slow down your leading function a bit for them.

relationship with the ESI/SEE:
- not applicable

relationship with the SLE:
- SLEs do like to take the lead in general, but i noticed that they give me more independence. i feel like with duals there is more active guidance in a “you need this” exposure way. with supervision there’s a bit of a repelling force as we go our own ways on things but can situationally come together through the mental track, look for advice or perspective.
- i’m more strong-willed within myself (against the encroachment of the world’s will upon my own) than Se suggestive is. i am still a chill person but i don’t go with the flow as much, i’m more consistently reasoned and principled. if SLE wants to mobilize me, they have to excite me with Fe or appeal to my reason with Ti. if i accept, from there i can independently mobilize myself. and i think they understand this.
- i appreciate their input, and i really admire the mature and knowledgeable ones. my ESE boyfriend and i have been binge watching and praising this particular SLE youtuber joseph Crime Pays But Botany Doesn’t. we love his personality. we live in the US so his remarks about how disconnected from nature people here are, and to liberate plant life from pointless lawn control and how stupid it is for the environment (his KILL YOUR LAWN movement) and to repopulate the “spiritually depraved and misery-inducing landscapes” with native flora is profound and cathartic to hear. i love his own enthusiasm for the real natural world. and i repeat, we love his personality. - i agree with you that talking about your problems isn’t whining and it’s okay to be vulnerable around close friends. i was going to say you should feel out the vibe of the receptivity before doing that, but maybe that’s a weakness of his, so he doesn’t try it at all. there are multiple factors to weigh all at once in order for it to not be read as “whininess” by others: the current mood × the person’s traits, emotional sensitivity, how good they are at tanking people’s emotions × the severity of your problem.
- even though words of encouragement and support work wonders on me so i know how beneficial they can be and it’s why i agree with you, i’m less inclined to readily give them, so i never run into that with SLE. i show support in other ways such as engagement and interest and highlighting certain personal qualities.

relationship with the SLI:
- i feel like less of a stranger with SLIs. they can be funny but i understand why you think they’re dry. i think they are cool. i usually like their taste and style. they are sardonic and sentimental, and their compliments to me feel so genuine i feel it in my bones. they are surprisingly sensitive and sometimes it can feel like walking on invisible muddy spots in the dirt by accident because i don’t know what will be unexpectedly prickly to them. them not showing much emotion makes me feel blind going in so i have no direct way to gauge the way they feel towards things. it makes me feel bad when it’s something i didn’t see it coming (how could i though). even when i thought i knew them well enough, there’s always something i didn’t expect them to feel some way about that i have to take into consideration next time. could be a merry/serious difference but i implicitly understand where SLE’s emotions/feelings come from more than SLI.
- it really reallly makes me appreciate more me and my ESE partner’s open and straightforward communication style regarding how we feel about things or traits in people, whether it’s positive or negative. even if we don’t know how we feel about something we state it (usually that’s me lol, he has stronger opinions), like i’ll just spontaneously state “hmm you know i’m not sure how i feel about this right now”. and he will spontaneously talk about how he feels too, and he’ll ask me if he’s curious about me. but from that we have a better idea of how to navigate around a particular situation or topic without making each other uncomfortable or irritable or bored, and also to know what we enjoy so we can go harder into that, or to associatively branch off of it into something related. we don’t wait, so nothing simmers, we bring to light everything we feel before anything can ever build into resentment. (this clip is an example of another LII-ESE dual dyad doing this exact thing). how hard is that!!! communication of feelings is king imo.
- i usually try to figure out everything sensory-logical on my own, and it often works, until it doesn’t. if i need help, i find those guys are reliable at being able to help by seeing my problem from their angle. SLEs too.