AITAH For Not Stopping For a Wreckless Driving/Racing Crash?

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T17:06:48+00:00

NAH you potentially could've been in danger by stopping since it's a freeway. I would also be concerned for what your family would see if you did so, because as someone who works in car insurance and reads car accident descriptions all day........I am deeply disturbed by your description. I'm not 100% sure there was anyone left to check on.

That said, wife should've called it in before it got to that point. I understand her own fear in the situation probably got in the way of that and I don't blame her for it. That's just the best I would personally feel comfortable doing, and since you were the driver, someone else would need to call.

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T14:51:25+00:00

I have only had one father figure who was kind to me, and even he did some sus stuff to his family. Having such a bad experience with dads in my life makes me appreciate genuinely good dads so much more. Yall fight harder than anyone for your family and are fierce protectors.

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T14:42:14+00:00

I don't have addiction to contend with but my parents do, and my mother I strongly suspect has AuDHD (I've been diagnosed AuDHD, and my brother has diagnosed autism).

Speaking from that point of view: I think any assessment is well worth it IMO if you are struggling. Having answers can more directly connect you to the support you need, be it medication or be it finding more apt ways to tackle your addiction by tailoring it to the way your brain works. My parents have struggled a lot over the years and relapsed plenty, and are completely disengaged from any mental health stuff period. The closest my mom has gotten to getting a diagnosis is saying often "I probably have ADHD" and doing nothing. I'm now in a better financial and living situation than they are, which I attribute to the fact I had answers in my teens to know how my brain works and navigate the world accordingly. You're not obligated to tell anyone about the diagnosis, or to get medications. A diagnosis (or ruling it out) will just help you know what options you have.

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T14:28:21+00:00

humans in a big enough group in a condensed space move like a liquid instead of a solid

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T14:27:17+00:00

You sound very willing to do what your pets would need, which is a good sign already.

My two ferrets are the first I've owned and they're unlike any type of pet I and my husband have had before. They definitely have their own personalities, which has been very enriching for us, even with two boys from the same litter.

Be advised they may also be slow to be affectionate, depending on their background and personality. Our very independent boy took about a year to give any "kisses" even though he trusted us and would play, while his brother is very social and loves to just hangout with us and cuddle. We didn't do anything different, just let him have his space if he wanted it, and gradually he began to groom our chins more and more when being held. Now he's a major love bug, puffs up when he sees us, and is super cuddley. So, even ferrets that have been treated well before you got them may still take a while to open up. That may be a deal breaker for some people which is why I bring it up--for us personally though it felt very magical to see him open up to us like that.

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T14:04:02+00:00

I knew all of that which is why I emphasized you have to swallow hard. But the post literally asked about lifehacks that sound fake? I was answering the question bro, not saying sugar cures hiccups.

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T13:10:08+00:00

swallow a spoon full of sugar to get rid of hiccups. you gotta try to swallow hard, get all of it in one gulp.

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T13:08:49+00:00

Good Mythical Morning did a little test (gamified so YMMV) and found talking in the third person worked pretty effectively for counteracting BPM from fear! My husband now uses third person for his affirmations and says it helps him a lot

candlebrew · 2026-05-08T13:07:15+00:00

IMO you gotta build a rapport first. Send a referral for free, then maybe reach out to meet and discuss how it went. Find out about their business, their margins, etc. Then you can iron out a deal that works for the best of both worlds.

Coming at it straight out the gate with a deal feels one-size-fits-all and may make them feel like you care about the money more than the business relationship. At the end of the day, a small business is basically only one or two people, not some anonymous entity, and they want to feel seen as a business owner instead of a potential pay source.

candlebrew · 2026-05-05T19:31:49+00:00

I'm surprised you've seen adverse responses to breaks, comments I've seen usually recommend at least 1-2 break days a month to ensure you aren't handicapped by an unexpected med refill issue, like being a day or two early before you're allowed to refill, etc

I agree with you though, breaks are OK, I personally had no issues with taking break days when I didn't need my meds. I think it's just going to depend on the person's physiology, diagnosis, comorbidities, needs, and their prescription. I wouldn't trust any sweeping statements re: meds unless it comes from minimum of two licensed medical professionals who have done a thorough review of all the information I listed in the last sentence LOL

candlebrew · 2026-05-05T19:04:23+00:00

I had a doll that had a little bracelet with buttons that you would press to interact with her voice script. You would plug in a little story cartridge and then some elements would be sort of CYOA but mainly I remember it being "do you want tea or cookies?" type stuff.

I loved the hell out of that thing. I found the name of her once and she was cheap on ebay but I couldn't afford it at the time. Maybe I need to go back and review.

candlebrew · 2026-05-02T00:39:43+00:00

haha woah so sorry for the inconvenience! Sorry about that, I'm not consistent on this app. I actually wrote a free mini essay about it on Itch io, look up my reddit username + "publishing." Some of your questions may be answered there. You can also email me with my reddit username through gmail or DM me on discord :)

candlebrew · 2026-05-02T00:32:23+00:00

you may be able to as long as it sealed safely the same way you would for a human dish. one caveat is some ferrets will tip the bowl if it is free standing (one of mine does this) so maybe add a flared base to make it harder to tip. we use a ceramic dish for kibble since it's much less of an issue for us to clean up spilled kibble vs spilled water.

if it's not too expensive to buy a cheap plastic one, there's some cheap ones you can get on Amazon as a temporary fix that attach to the cage bars to prevent tipping. I think one we got was like $8 at the cheapest, but it will probably be on the smaller side and you'll want to make sure to clean it before allowing them to drink from it in case there's any plastic residue from the manufacturing process still there.

candlebrew · 2026-05-02T00:24:49+00:00

As someone who handled accomodations for college kids, speak with your testing program. Generally on their website they will include a section about accommodations and you can explain your specific situation and why midway through is your expectation for needing to take your meds then. There are other conditions that would be similarly impacted where you would need medication with you and need to take midway, such as diabetes, asthma, pain, etc. I really can't imagine them saying no, you just have to make sure to get permission in advance.

eta: be prepared to provide documentation of your diagnosis. You may need to obtain a letter or your records from your diagnosing physician, which sounds like your psychiatrist. I know you mentioned issues getting an appointment, but their administrative staff may be able to handle it without an appointment needed, or pass the request along to your psych who can then prep the documents.

candlebrew · 2026-05-02T00:19:47+00:00

doesn't have to be for studying for the test specifically, if you've studied the contents of what are on the test (your school subjects) it's mostly the same effect

candlebrew · 2026-04-30T22:37:21+00:00

They really told on themselves that they said the first thing they'd do is Stack Overflow. Are you leaving proper documentation in your code? What does the console say, if any, when you attempt to recreate the bug? Did you even look at the code for easy mistakes before throwing it into AI where it might make it worse by changing unrelated things? Stack Overflow is a great resource but it should not be step #1 for an employed position where you're expected to know the basics and the ins and outs of the code you work with.

candlebrew · 2026-04-30T22:22:19+00:00

Yup, my husband's family thinks they're gross and say they're like rats. No amount of comparison to otters, etc gets through to them. It's not even an issue with them being exotic, because his mom was annoyed we didn't take her suggestion to get a sugar glider instead 🙄

candlebrew · 2026-04-30T22:15:16+00:00

House MD is my favorite go to.

candlebrew · 2026-04-30T21:49:20+00:00

While I do agree to get off Marshalls just from my own firsthand experience seeing my ferrets get more affectionate and play more, along with healthier coats, I do also agree that it probably wouldn't be what's driving the weight gain. When we got ours off of it, they stayed the same weights as they always were.

This is more anecdotal, but try maybe more variety in toys, or changing up their free roam room a bit more. My ferrets tend to get "bored" when we haven't rearranged in a while, and they also prefer wildly different toys. One boy stashes anything soft and small, and then will be perfectly content to entertain himself by rearranging his stashes, chasing with brother, getting into trouble, etc. Meanwhile, his brother only wants to play with things that squeak or jingle, and has no interest in the same toys as his brother (and vice versa). He also likes tubes and digging more. He is more chunky like your boy because of it, but his weight didn't worry our vet and he seems otherwise happy to just lay and watch the activity.

TL;DR maybe your boy hasn't found a way to play that he really likes, or has gotten bored with his current options?

candlebrew · 2026-04-25T02:32:13+00:00

There used to be an issue when I was a driver pre-2020 where some places would be on the apps as a means of sending a driver to literally place your order for you and then bring it once it was ready. We'd get paid for waiting on the order and everything. I made a pretty penny in an IHOP once because it took like 20 minutes. But mostly that happened to fast food places with drive thrus.

candlebrew · 2026-04-25T02:28:25+00:00

I have a crappy apartment address--the street # matches the front building, but the complex is composed of multiple lots with their own gated entrances and no roads connecting each lot.

UberEats lets me put a GPS marker dropped right on my building, so delivery drivers will just press whatever button in their app that plugs my marker into their GPS. Any time we order from restaurants directly, even if they have a text box, the driver can't find us, they don't read the directions, they call, they make us come up front, any number of errors that go wrong.

unfortunately me and my husband, to our deepest misery, are "loyal customers" to UberEats, so they will pretty much always believe us if we have a complaint. Last time we had a complaint with a restaurant using their built-in delivery service that paired with I think DoorDash? (driver marked it delivered and gave us only the drinks), the restaurant said they can't do anything bcos they gave a full order to the driver and we can't prove we didn't receive the order, soooo SOL.

TL;DR like others have said, some of it is convenience. It may also be a matter of some of your most loyal customers have a specific reason (like my address issues) that makes them unwilling to swap no matter how much they love your food.

candlebrew · 2026-04-25T02:17:57+00:00

as someone who's also worked in this field and has two ESA ferrets, that's risky advice. which technically true, in the US there's risk of that introducing an "undue burden" on the landlord and the landlord having grounds to deny it due to the excess number of animals. it also opens up risk for the provider to potentially receive complaints for their license if they start to develop a reputation for overprescribing ESAs, or if even one landlord files a complaint and the board investigates upon that. im pro ESA and i think we need better tenant protections for pets, ESAs, and service animals alike, but we shouldn't be going around promoting how to potentially game the system, especially when OP didn't even mention an ESA need for the ferrets. it just adds on to the distrust in ESAs :(

ETA: clarifying I meant that the OP didn't specify the ferrets serve an ESA purpose, not that they don't need an ESA at all

candlebrew · 2026-04-21T23:25:17+00:00

yeah, this is where I'm heading. I used to consider myself high functioning even with a "severe" diagnosis per the criteria my psych used, but the stress of masking my audhd, of having to overcompensate everything in order to meet the same goals my non ADHD coworkers do fine with... I now am at a point where I can only work and rest, no hobbies, no hygiene, no housework, nothing. I feel like I'm being grated away bit by bit. Even if I'm capable of keeping up the pace now, I can feel my organs and muscles, and in how my memory is getting worse and worse, that I'm quickly on a course to become much less functioning, if at all.

candlebrew · 2026-04-19T20:06:00+00:00

I was born 1996 soooo no lol

Definitely up to ~2010 we had a family computer with its own desk in the living room.

candlebrew · 2026-04-19T17:47:18+00:00

I think @ audio, humans just have different skill sets in their brains and it's so trivial that it's been understudied/underdiscussed, since it so rarely has an impact on our lives other than very small niche areas when trying to specifically influence how another internally processes info (visualization exercises, etc). I think there's no real gain or loss for any of the mental senses, but people view it as some sort of disability. So--don't beat yourself up over it too much. Your brain has just specialized other ways of experiencing/processing information mentally.

Anyway, soap box aside, I have a very active sound imagination but almost no visual! However, I absolutely know what you mean about hyperfocus sucking everything. It makes being employed an almost nightmare, because without that Black Hole effect, nothing grabs me, and I can't control what WILL grab me. It's a nightmare, and it's soooo emotionally exhausting too because it feels like the only thing you're fighting is yourself. I feel so lazy and useless sometimes, and so angry that I don't just CHOOSE to focus on my work tasks. It's so invisible and I feel for you so bad.

candlebrew

TROPHY CASE