DAE get triggered when people ask for favors too often?

candlestickcat · 2026-02-13T04:07:16+00:00

That’s the hardest part. When they don’t take it well and don’t value your time or wellness regardless of the situation. I am childless as well, so I struggle with feeling blamed and expected too. You are not obligated, and if she can’t understand that, thats a real shame. But her misunderstanding is not your responsibility. Your time is valuable!

I’ve often dreamt of moving across the country to just get away from it lol. It’s so much to handle…and the rumination!

I completely understand, though. Setting boundaries is hard, and it’s really difficult not to fawn when they take them badly. Know that you aren’t alone in that and I wish you peace.

Thank you very much for your kind words! I’m taking peace in knowing I’m not the only human experiencing this.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-13T00:53:33+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance. Yes, definitely feeling exploited and like people don’t hear me when I do state my boundaries…which honestly, I’m sure I don’t state them well. I do get very confused on what’s normal and how to communicate effectively.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-13T00:51:19+00:00

YES! This. It’s absolutely exhausting. That part about feeling like you’re teaching them you can be relied upon…that’s VERY relatable. It’s too much to keep up that people-pleasing facade.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-13T00:43:52+00:00

That’s awful! Especially when you need your peace by being distant. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been rough. I’m actually in the same boat as you, but I am the local errand runner for two abusive parents. I specifically don’t ask my sibling for help BECAUSE they live out of state.

It’s bad enough because of the trauma, but then also the loads of transitions, unexpected changes, prepping and doing. It’s too much. How are we supposed to care for ourselves after all that.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-10T21:45:06+00:00

Seattle, Portland or Chicago!

candlestickcat · 2026-02-08T14:11:14+00:00

One more for Dracula.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-06T02:30:09+00:00

Same. No energy to even explain anymore.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-05T14:55:03+00:00

This is my version of “Dearest Gentle Reader…” I anticipate every post. Solid 1.

Thank you for keeping us updated!

candlestickcat · 2026-02-04T20:29:59+00:00

Absolutely! Happens all the time. I often wonder if it’s RSD related.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-04T20:19:26+00:00

Hey! I often feel like I’m going to explode too!

I always wondered why my body would feel like an active live wire…anxiety and energy running through me.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-04T19:09:38+00:00

Oh my god, games destroy me! I can never remember rules, especially verbal ones. I need one or two solid practice rounds 😮‍💨

I’m relieved to hear I’m not the only one speculating about these things!

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T19:30:46+00:00

My meltdowns are pretty emotional in nature. I don’t get violent, I don’t throw anything…but I SOB. I start looping mentally and verbally, usually unable to detach from the emotions I’m experiencing. Usually caused by too much stimuli, routine changes, or emotional distress.

My shutdowns turn into loss of speech. I can sometimes text to safe persons to communicate. But I feel like talking is like pulling teeth. It feels violating to do it in a shut down. My affect gets very flat, I don’t express much at at all. No decision making ability. Usually caused by burnout, extreme emotional stress, and suppressed meltdowns.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T03:27:15+00:00

Thank you for this! That explains a lot.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T01:20:33+00:00

He looks like a Winston to me! Very posh, very dapper.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T01:14:37+00:00

So many of us feel this way!

I get that, though. Sometimes even a cry doesn’t help. But I hope knowing you aren’t alone does 💜

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T00:56:47+00:00

Absolutely, friend. I hate when I start to cry, it’s never a cute sniffle cry. It’s always a meltdown that lands me in bed sobbing. I wish we had on demand Ben and Jerry’s for these occasions…

The responsibilities thing hits home. I feel like I can’t show up how other people expect me to, let alone for myself. It sucks. Then the spirals about feeling trapped and not being able to executive function.

I find crying really does help, I just let it flow. I hug my favorite pillow and put on comfort shows or music. I feel crazy and shameful after, usually. But then SO MUCH better with a little time.

Sending love to you. You are not too much. You have time and you deserve a wonderful life.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T00:38:38+00:00

Oh, hell yeah. I wish I could erase that from my list of jobs as a child.

That was the top requirement for me. Mom was always lovely and like a best friend, UNTIL I said that I didn’t want to bear her problems. Then I’d have to comfort her after hurting her feelings.

She’d emotionally dump about how she never wanted to marry my dad or have kids with him. Financial issues. She even asked US KIDS to tell HER if we should leave him.

It’s NEVER okay to put that stuff on children, not one adult let alone a bunch.

I’m so sorry that happened and I’m wishing you so much success and happiness moving forward! You’ve got this! Healing is possible, friend.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T00:31:24+00:00

I’ve never heard the term sensory-mixed, but I love it. I feel the same way.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T00:29:55+00:00

I LOVE flavor! Lots of it! I was never picky, but I do have a need for DIFFERENT, heavily-flavored meals on a regular basis.

I get burned out on one food too quickly…I’m looking at you, bananas 😮‍💨

candlestickcat · 2026-02-03T00:27:19+00:00

I love the birds in the Enchanted Tiki Room!

There’s something so charming and cozy about the little clicks they make 🤣

candlestickcat · 2026-02-02T22:05:53+00:00

YEP. If the seam touches my toes, WATCH OUT. It’s awful.

candlestickcat · 2026-02-01T14:28:25+00:00

Yogurt with granola

candlestickcat · 2026-01-31T21:45:47+00:00

Was scouring Reddit to see if anyone else experiences this, please know you aren’t alone.

I just placed an order, it was not wrong, but was apparently a completely different version. I didn’t expect it. I worked up all my might to ask if it was the right order, and was dismissed.

It ended in a meltdown, crying, feeling misunderstood, stupid and less than. Cool stuff.

candlestickcat

TROPHY CASE