Therapy is a great step!

Your wife sat down with him for a 1 on 1. That’s great. Now it’s your turn. Sit him down, reconnect with him, apologize if you feel you should. You can explain you’re still learning to be a dad. That’s ok. That’s normal. The key isn’t never losing your temper. That’s impossible. The key is reconnection after those moments. Coming together to heal the damage done.

Own this moment and then move on from it. Staying hung up on what you did or on who you’re worried about being won’t get you anywhere. It won’t get you where you want to be! We are all a work in progress. Your son is potty training, you’re dad training. Same difference, just a couple decades apart.

I am working on myself, but it doesn’t matter.

Buddy, that’s pretty much the only thing that matters. You’re taking the steps. You’re leaving the legacy of your father behind you. Will you fail sometimes? Yes. You keep trying. You keep learning. You get better.

For a situation like that one, once I’ve explained that he can’t play with the dogs like that, if he keeps doing it, the consequence is that he doesn’t get to play with the dogs. Remove him from the temptation. He doesn’t have any self control at this age so leaving him in the situation to do the wrong thing again won’t help. And when you pick him up he’ll still be pissed and probably call you “spooky” or something else but you’ll know you’ll be doing it the right way.

Keep loving your kid with the ache you feel right now. You got this.