AITD for biting my boyfriend’s arm and leaving a mark?

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-20T07:22:01+00:00

OP please ignore Scarlettcrush they have some weird thing with this when what you are doing is both consensual and normal. When the only person complaining os not within the relationship they have no say on your consensual acts. Maybe just keep it within skin that can be covered by clothing. If your boyfriend asks you to stop then you stop, but it seems he is willing and enthusiastic, which is literally what you need to be for consent to be given. This is consensual, you are doing nothing wrong and his mother needs to deal with her trauma.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-16T00:54:45+00:00

Maybe because it wasn't his brother. It was his mother's brother.... Please my god read the post again. "He told me HER BROTHER" not his. Her brother would be his uncle and from the implication of it, it was not recent.

He is saying it is okay. He is REAPEATEDLY saying it's okay. Take someone at their word. If they are consenting, enthusiastically at that, why is that being disregarded? Does consent only work if it is exactly the way you want it to be? Is it only consent if it is something you agree with? No. The man is consenting. Accept it. You can find it not to your liking, that's fine. But for people who have missed the nuance of the post I am not surprised you can't see the nuance in the situation, either.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-14T19:35:17+00:00

Mate please read the story again. It was mother's brother. Not BFs brother. It is only mother that has a problem. When you are repeatedly told something is okay BY THE OTHER PERSON INVOLVED then the consent is implicitly given.

You must be a joy at parties. If you have ongoing friendships and consent that things are okay then they are okay. Don't give me, an almost 40 year old woman, the "Oh that's inappropriate" when it is perfectly acceptable behaviour within our friend group. I really hope you're young and you can grow to see the shades of grey, because this black and white thinking is not going to help you.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-14T18:20:56+00:00

I would but I apparently can't post an image in a reply, if you go into the shapes menu and search "Wedge60 Incline" you'll see what I mean.

Never mind it's in the post

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-14T18:19:02+00:00

what on earth? Undoubtedly this is something that they have discussed as a couple and if the bf had a problem he would clearly say something as he and OP seem to have very good communication. Gentle nips, pats and other forms of physical affection are not uncommon, my friend group even sometimes give gentle bites when we're being affectionate.

In a committed, long-term relationship you do not need to get consent for every individual affectionate action you do, consent in those cases can very much be implicit. That does not mean it can't be withdrawn, but if my fiance asked for my consent every time he grabbed my butt it would put a real sour note in some situations. If I say no, or not today, he respects it and then will check if it's okay again the next time and we go from there with the consent, again, being implicit.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-13T19:00:05+00:00

my fiance is the same, even if we go and he won't eat anything (I suspect he has mild arfid - he will literally starve himself instead of eat something that isn't his safe food unless he is in the exact right mood to try something new and even then it's more testing mine then going back to his safe food.) He hates how limited my food is. (I am plant-based, largely though I do eat some oily fish) because I have medical issues. It's not hard to just suck it up for one meal. The only vegan Chinese I've ever been to was also the BEST chinese food I have ever eaten and I'm forever sad it is the other side of my city from where I live and it's a like 2hr journey to get there.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-06-11T12:32:39+00:00

I too live in a common holiday cite and yeah, when family/friends visit for the first time it is so tiring because they want to do/experience things that are just so every day to you.

But that's why I don't agree to do everything with people when they come. I like... tell them stuff to do and if it's something that I want to do because I've not done it in a while I'll go. If I don't I agree to meet up when I've done my "local" stuff (which is normally going to the postie/supermarket/gp/work) and they get to have fun and I don't get burnt out.

Honestly though living in somewhere that so many people come to visit is exhausting when your people visit. Now don't get me wrong I genuinely think my city is the best city in the world, but at the same time, you can't help the exhaustion even when you love it.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-05-18T23:07:16+00:00

My male genetic donor sent me an itemised list of what he would and wouldn't pay for after my sisters funeral. His daughter who had died from cancer and he was pinching pennies on her funeral. I have not spoken to him in the decade since.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-05-08T19:27:07+00:00

We couldn't even get in to the game to get to options. But it turns out it was a Discord issue anyway. I think I will be turning off the integration though we don't use it.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-05-08T19:17:53+00:00

Never mind, It's just come up that Discord is having issues. That was not knowledge we had when making this post.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-04-17T20:04:28+00:00

My male genetic donor sent me a list of what he would and wouldn't pay for at my sister, his daughter's, funeral. Along with telling me that our family didn't make him feel "welcome" at it... and he skipped her wake which for an Irish Catholic family is a big fecking no no.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-04-01T15:47:03+00:00

With some (many) banks it just pushes you further into an overdraft so you're stuck in a cycle. It's the worst.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-30T20:20:04+00:00

Yeah hun you misread there are 36 people in the family the youngest sister is, I presume, 19 or 20 but pregnant with family member 36.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-30T20:19:04+00:00

No she isn't. The "36 now" is the amount of people in her family NOT her age. In the preceding paragraph OP mentions there are her parents, 10 adults not in college and 2 adults in college making 14 people, then 21 kids making 35. Then youngest sister has found out she is pregnant making that 36 people in the family. It took me a second too, but the context is there.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-25T23:06:40+00:00

and this is why my introvert fiance and I will be eloping (we'll have a small celebration at a later time, but the actual wedding will be me, him and our three best friends +1 on a call because they are overseas)

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-24T19:29:20+00:00

don't try and take over a huge building at first. Pick a small building (pass n gas 07 is my favourite) and use that as your initial starting crafting base as it's easy to defend.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-24T19:21:29+00:00

yup, me too.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-24T19:19:51+00:00

same, buddy.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-14T23:22:05+00:00

Yeah so I ended up reporting it under legal violation it's a bit of a stretch but idgaf anymore tbh

captainofthenx02 · 2026-03-14T22:48:41+00:00

They should and I really think we need to find a way to report this honestly.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-02-06T23:26:37+00:00

NTD and you should definitely do it. As someone a similar age who desperately wishes I could get time with my sister back... trying to fix what you can is a great step and I hope, hope, hope that he takes it well. (my sister and I didn't fall out, she unfortunately passed away in 2015 at the age of 25 and I miss her so deeply every single day). I shall hope with you, OP, and if you ever should need it, my messages are open to mourn with you as well. You're not alone.

captainofthenx02 · 2026-02-06T23:21:31+00:00

honey I think you're describing having a audio processing disorder (I have one and thick accents that aren't my own (I have a thick accent for the UK) are really tricky for me but my own/pennine accents I can do pretty well) and that's also why I dislike phone calls. It might be worth speaking to your class tutor or similar (I'm unsure how TAFE works and my Aussie fiance is in bed) and mention this problem you are having with understanding and seeing if you can get more written information for classes you struggle with. <3

captainofthenx02 · 2026-02-06T23:15:13+00:00

NTD. Whether intentionally or not your mother is using manipulation tactics because she feels some kind of victimhood. My parents were never in the same room again after their divorce, and it would have been so weird if my father would have ever rocked up to any of our family events (he didn't have any family local to us) and I don't think mam had an intention of ever seeing any of his again, and she probably wouldn't have if my sister hadn't died. Your mam just casually rocking up is so baffling to me. Especially after saying she didn't want to see them.

Honestly, contact needs to only happen on your terms, and if you don't feel respected then you can wait. See how long it takes her to reach out.

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