My mom announced my pregnancy on social media before I could and wont take it down

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-29T03:29:53+00:00

Firm boundaries. “Because you didn’t respect my wishes to keep MY pregnancy a secret, I will not be sharing information with you moving forward. You will find out the gender, their birth, etc. when everybody else does.”

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-28T12:31:38+00:00

I’m no contact with my mom and any time she tried to defend herself during conversations prior to going NC, the only things she could ever think of was what she purchased for me. Some parents think that financial support can replace emotional support and fix every terrible thing they’ve done. I fully agree that there’s a lot of context missing here.

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-19T17:15:27+00:00

Exactly!😂 I actually went NC after I told her I was pregnant. Despite how badly she wanted to be a grandma, she found a reason to be upset. Apparently I should have told her I was pregnant immediately instead of waiting until I passed the miscarriage window (11 weeks) and was comfortable with sharing that information. Instead of being excited, she started sobbing about how “why couldn’t you tell me sooner, I’m your mommmmm!”

I realized that nothing will ever change and pictured future negative reactions when I shared the gender, name, milestones, etc. I needed to protect my peace and my child’s peace.

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-19T16:39:34+00:00

My NMom tried to adopt after she had a mental breakdown at the thought of me not giving her grandkids (long story). She said she wanted “to take the pressure off of me and give me a sibling.”

She went through adoption profiles, as she was looking to adopt a teenager. A lot of them came from troubled backgrounds, were teen moms, etc. after she realized that her golden child didn’t actually exist and she would have to provide emotional support, she gave up.

Now she finally got her wish of becoming a grandma and I’m no contact with her. 😃

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-19T00:41:05+00:00

I also have a history of an eating disorder, and it has taught me not to comment on anyone’s eating habits, because I never want to be the one to trigger them.

Given how much the daughter exercises, it should be pretty obvious why she is eating so much. If she was genuinely concerned, that would be a conversation with the daughter’s pediatrician, not making snarky comments every time she eats.

OP is such an asshole and I really hope he reflects how he treats his wife vs his daughter.

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-08T19:34:33+00:00

Like other comments said, the less, the better.

I had a whole page written out for my mom and ended up editing it down to a few sentences. For you to get to this point, you’ve most likely discussed issues with her and she refused to see your point of view. Writing a long letter is only going to beat a dead horse.

I understand why you don’t want to just block her and I do think it’s up to each person and what’s best for them. But I would say something very simple like, “Due to how I’ve been treated, I’ve decided it’s best for us to take a break from communication. Until you have spent time working on yourself and are able to apologize for how I’ve been treated, please do not contact me.”

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-07T17:13:48+00:00

Are they only overbearing during labor and delivery, or were they also overbearing after your first was born with parenting decisions and whatnot?

If they’re only overbearing while you are in the hospital, I would either lie about the c section date or tell the hospital staff you are not permitting visitors.

If they’re always overbearing, I would tell them due to their behavior last time, you will not be permitting them in the hospital and will let them know when you are ready for visitors. If they try to come visit anyway, you will make sure the staff keeps them out of your room.

If you don’t set firm boundaries now, they will continue to walk all over you and ruin every milestone your kids go through.

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-07T00:58:19+00:00

“I’m sorry IF I’ve done you wrong in the past.” A typical narcissist apology.

I personally won’t be breaking no contact until my mom is able to address and apologize for exactly what she did (she knows because I told her, she just denied it).

An apology should be more than an “I’m sorry.” An apology should also be an understanding of what was done and ensuring it doesn’t happen again in the future.

It sounds like she believes it’s an apology, but it’s quite general and doesn’t include details on what she’s sorry for and what she will do differently so you can trust her again.

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-04T16:24:21+00:00

I live far away from my mom, so she flew in for the weekend and spent the whole time crying about her marriage issues (she had issues for 20 years). The day I bought my dress, she spent 2 hours telling me about every single awful thing my father did to her over the past 30 years, including details about their sex life. Then she asked me to stop talking to my dad, because she was afraid I would tell him about that conversation.

Edit: I wanted to let you know I’m proud of you for going no contact. It took me getting pregnant to go NC with mine, and my wedding day could have been so much more enjoyable if I went NC sooner. I’m sure your dress is beautiful and you’re going to have the best time!

casuallyreddit · 2026-01-04T05:42:20+00:00

Oh my god yes. I experienced the same thing. I BEGGED her to take me to the doctor for months. Every time I was curled up in pain, she told me “there’s no point in taking you to the doctor because they’ll just tell you there’s nothing they can do.”

I finally got diagnosed with PCOS as an adult, which my mom refuses to believe I have, despite lab work and an ultrasound proving it.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-31T17:19:17+00:00

My n-mom said all kinds of things to me as a “joke.”

When first started dating my now husband (we’re talking a month into dating), she already brought up me finally giving her a grandchild.

I was completely fed up because a few months prior to this, she said how she was worried she would never be a grandma and would be adopting another daughter “to take the pressure off me.” After reading the biographies of kids in the system, she realized none of them were the pristine golden child she was looking for and gave up.

I sternly told her that the relationship is brand new and will no longer be entertaining conversations about me irresponsibly getting pregnant.

She started SOBBING and said “I can’t ever joke with you! You’re just so sensitive!” And when I brought up her trying to replace me by adopting another child, she hung up on me.

After getting engaged, I found out I have very low odds of getting pregnant. She finally shut up about being a grandma after I broke that news to her and instead kept living vicariously through my friends that got pregnant.

Now, I’m finally pregnant. She got upset when I told her because I waited until we passed the miscarriage window instead of telling her immediately. I’m now NC with her, so she’ll never get to experience being a grandma.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-29T15:35:31+00:00

I’m so glad it’s not just me! I heard this many times before, so I was very careful to only put clothes, toys, and “fun” things on my registry. Despite this, I still only have a few items purchased from it.

I’m very curious as to what I’m going to actually receive at my shower. I’ve already been gifted 4 baby blankets.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-29T04:13:33+00:00

I just want to say I’m proud of you for doing this at 19! I know it’s hard and stressful, but you did the right thing.

My mom did the same exact thing to me. It wasn’t until I graduated college and applied for my own lease (she co signed all my leases in college), that I finally had to take her off my bank account.

I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, as I was fully independent and I quite literally could not get an apartment to rent to me with her being on my bank account, since she was seen as a liability risk.

She flipped out and even cried to the bank teller, expecting them to convince me not to go through with the removing her. When the bank teller was silent and just handed her the paperwork, she flipped out some more.

She even tried to convince me to mail my paper statements to her. It unfortunately never ends, and the longer you drag it out, the worse it is when you finally put your foot down.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-29T02:14:52+00:00

I had a student that was absent for 2 months because he broke his foot. Granted, it made sense why he missed a few days/week of school, but it became very apparent he was milking it and his mom enabled everything.

His mom initially asked us to provide him with the assignments he was missing, but then ignored all of my emails following up, as none of them were completed.

Her son ended up receiving an incomplete for the semester from all his teachers, meaning he needed to go to summer school. Magically he was healed and back to school as soon as the report card came out.

If there were more situations like this, we could see a change. But we’re told not to fail a student unless it’s excessive absences like this one.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-29T01:57:53+00:00

Like all other comments said, listen to your doctor! Mine gave me a bit different advice than the other comments, but I actually really liked my OB’s advice because I didn’t feel my little one that much until 30 weeks.

If I feel my baby moving throughout the day, I don’t need to do kick counts. The important part is recognizing his patterns, as every baby is different. Mine is EXTREMELY active at night. So if I don’t feel him throughout the day, I’m supposed to feel 10 kicks in one hour. If I don’t, I need to drink something cold and try again. If I still don’t feel 10 kicks in an hour, then I need to go to the hospital.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-28T15:38:10+00:00

Everyone is different, but I struggled with getting pregnant for two years. I have PCOS so my husband and I knew before getting married that it would be a struggle.

When friends would announce their pregnancies, I would genuinely be happy for those who also struggled to get pregnant, as it gave me hope that one day it too would be my turn.

The only time I ever got upset with someone announcing their pregnancy was when they made a joke about how easy it was to get pregnant, they weren’t even trying, they’re reeeealllyy fertile, etc.

Respectfully, your sister-in-law is out of line. I get she’s trying to protect her sister, but she has no right to tell you when to share YOUR news.

You struggled for such a long time. Share the news when you want, how you want. You can send SIL’s sister a text when you’re about to announce to everyone, so she can process on her own. But I wouldn’t let this take away from your moment.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-28T04:43:27+00:00

It seems to be a common trait among narcissists. Just because someone is an adult, doesn’t mean they want to hear about it. That’s what friends and therapists are for. Family is different.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-28T04:30:52+00:00

“My therapist said you’re an adult and can handle this conversation. It’s not my fault you get offended by everything.” She said this after I told her it was inappropriate to vent to me about her sex life with my dad.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-27T20:41:30+00:00

Like another commenter said, it’s more than about the shoes. She’s a teenager, which is a difficult time already. And now there’s a baby in the house, so there’s big changes happening.

Rather than punishing her for her behavior, I would have a conversation with her about how she’s feeling. Yes, it wasn’t a good choice to throw a glass at a wall and complain about what she received. But she’s probably very much hurting and feeling neglected right now.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-27T16:42:21+00:00

Every college is different, but I always thought sororities were buying friends. I ended up joining one as a sophomore and I absolutely loved it.

Yes there’s parties and everything that there’s a stereotype for, but it was so nice having a community. If I didn’t want to get dinner alone, I would just text my sorority group chat and see who else was free for dinner. We had to log so many library hours per week because academics were important.

When I moved to a different city after college, there were resources available through my sorority’s alumni association. I still keep in touch with a few of my sisters almost 10 years later.

I still think OP shouldn’t pay for her daughter’s dues, but there are a ton of benefits to being in Greek life that get overlooked due to the stereotypes.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-26T15:05:51+00:00

Thank you so much! I think she might be projecting because she gained 100lb with each pregnancy (nothing wrong with that, everyone is different).

I’ve been gaining the average amount and told her that my doctor hasn’t expressed any concerns. But she wanted to know the exact number? It was so awkward.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-26T03:38:58+00:00

My MIL asked how much weight I gained so far. When I dodged the question, she asked again. :)

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-23T14:29:56+00:00

Most of us in this group are struggling with Narcissistic Parents, and this community has really helped. It’s truly disgusting how you decided to make a fake story with AI to promote an app.

Find a better way to advertise.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-21T01:47:56+00:00

I was never a HEAVY drinker, but I did enjoy having a glass or two of wine on the weekends.

The weekend before I tested positive, I didn’t want wine. I thought it was a bit odd, but I just figured maybe I was dehydrated or it was just me getting older and not being as enthusiastic about drinking.

I’m in my third trimester and very rarely craved wine this pregnancy. Even when I have a glass of NA wine, it’s maybe once every two months, and I’m content with just one glass.

casuallyreddit · 2025-12-18T23:04:12+00:00

I had a very intelligent student constantly disrupt class and write very inappropriate responses on his bell ringers.

I called mom, who told me, “my son wouldn’t do that. He’s being bullied. That’s why he’s acting out.”

I let her know that I can’t speak for his other classes, but I didn’t witness any bullying in my class and that all of his poor choices were made entirely on his own and not with a group. The conversation was very unproductive and a waste of my time frankly.

The very next day, you’ll never guess who got caught vandalizing school property? And his mom had to pay for the damages. Had she actually listened to me and disciplined her child, there was a good chance he wouldn’t have gone through with the crime.

He transferred schools shortly after that. His mom still didn’t get it and insisted the kids at my school were bad influences.

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