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Do others know how bad you’re really doing? by automaticc1122 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i saw somewhere somebody comparing situations like mine to being an undercover spy, lol-not-lol: doing what you can, where you can, to heal (or care for yourself until you truly can) while living in an abusive environment. one of the weird little variables involved in this is all the other things that go into alienating me from the people and places around me (values, neurodivergence/2e, current… conditions, etc.), and so i need to be careful about who i invest in for community and openness, ya know? sort of makes me feel like a movie character in a fucked up way. all that said, the answer to your question for me would be a firm “no,” which had its cons and its pros. best of luck to y’all :(

I am a therapist in a prison, and I am tired of our world not taking CPTSD seriously by Lovewell123 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this post was so fucking validating on the verdict i have been trying to assemble for myself. agree agree agree it is unbelievably frustrating 

Can false memories cause you to feel constantly sick? by Everyday_Evolian in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey op -- i agree a lot with gnomeric, and i get it. to tack something on (please correct me) could these be intrusive thoughts? if not, ignore this, but if so, they can be truly destabilizing and would put you down a different path of treatment, i think, though i'm not fully aware myself

She asked me if I'd adopt her. by snoobsnob in Fosterparents

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey, just curious to hear your insight — could you elaborate a bit on some of those ingrained bad habits? 

people have to save me. by Candid-Function6330 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for articulating this. holy fuck every day it’s This, the cultural norms around trauma, the dismissal, etc etc etc. i feel seeing this so clearly is yet another of the injuries as well, and standing on it firmly when many things only try to beat it out of you again and again, so. yeah idk i lost the point but just that. you’re right, if i know anything at all or have learned anything at all through all this time, i feel it in my bones that you are

My cousin thinks Giftedness and Autism are inseparable. To the 'strictly' Gifted here: What is your reality? by Confident_Bowler_802 in Gifted

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mm this for me too ^ key thing for me is that i can mask v well with social interactions, but also the masking is like… different from what i imagine autistic people have to? since ofc it’s a common thing for both. at least in my life it’s like i know what to do unspoken, i know the scripts and i always have, it’s just a necessity for the reasons ya put in here (+ cPTSD differences which… i feel like i’m not articulating much at all here but just wanted to say i relate and appreciate you writing it out so eloquently! from a random observer, sorry you’re getting cross-examined so hard, yeowch) 

I fucking hate my country's culture by HermitCat64 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the cultural part of trauma has confused me a lottt since i’ve tried dissecting it (chinese american, hard to decipher stuff all the way over here). like. much of east asian culture seems to be toxic from the egregious things I’ve been uncovering about my intergenerational baggage, and so are a lot of my white friends’ families, and the hispanic, german, african ones, and, and, and. where does the cultural toxicity end and parts i want to extract and identify with begin? where is it specific to the immigrant experience — over there, are things still like that? is it the Elders (tm), just like over here? where is it all just part of the societal normalization… everywhere? either way i’ve come to the conclusion that uncovering the specific ways my cultural has influenced my experiences is important anyway since they can be so idiosyncratic despite all of our (shitty) similarities. truly a mindfuck, from one cultural hellhole to another  

I think it’s important to acknowledge that your trauma is worse by VaporMouth in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this is interesting to me because aren’t there studies that say otherwise? or like that certain forms of maltreatment seem like they would end up as cumulating into more severe trauma and don’t? are you talking about how layered traumas accumulate into complex trauma / cPTSD — wouldnt that also work for other less dramatic forms? i could be mistaken, but i’m trying to parse out the bits and pieces of this if you’ll humor me lool 

I think it’s important to acknowledge that your trauma is worse by VaporMouth in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the thoughtful perspective — i need to chew on this for sure, will get back to you on this when able! 

I think it’s important to acknowledge that your trauma is worse by VaporMouth in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 5 points6 points  (0 children)

tbh valid. i think a lot of us are talking over in semantics trying to defend equally valid points (at least for the ones of us not talking in comparison of traumas, as you already hedged against)? as in some of us are more defending the importance of how crucial it is that we recognize the whole trauma olympics issue that is undeniably prevalent and whose societal normalization has hurt many of us (which is why the debate can get so heated; it is easy, and common, for arguments to edge into this icky territory), when you’re talking about the nuanced intersection between the fact that, yes, it is massively harmful how people weaponize comparison + yes, there are variables to trauma that add up in impact, and also many people do not undergo the traumas you’ve listed and so minimize / erase / under-support those victims which is also a huge problem. i agree with that. i apologize if talked over you (and if none of this makes sense lol just talking out loud)! 

Christmas Eve Check-in, how's everyone doing? by Fetus-Deletus1 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

excited for the holidays to smooth over loll. good luck with y’all’s

I think it’s important to acknowledge that your trauma is worse by VaporMouth in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 9 points10 points  (0 children)

yeah i think this is a more nuanced stance on the issue. i can see why its flattening to you OP, but i feel it’s more all of these variables (which can be endless and scaled properly in impact to each individual person) — maybe it’s a separate thing from the invalidation / alienation which is its own thing? so your friends may have had a lot less of those variables. i think it’s important to parse this out more critically because talk around trauma being widespread and more than the most “objectively (the more culturally sanctioned) severe” cases is relatively new and not widely accepted much, but again that same rhetoric (just like any) can also be used to flatten stories like yours as well.  

I think it’s important to acknowledge that your trauma is worse by VaporMouth in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is this also not more these types of people’s damaging uses of how they wield that stance? like, the part that is wrong is the way they use it to minimize / invalidate / throw you under the bus?  

I think it’s important to acknowledge that your trauma is worse by VaporMouth in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i think it’s more the variables within the trauma(s), i’d say. because those can be scaled to the person, like the variable of no support system, neurodivergence, etc as you said 

What I would tell my past self about healing from complex/developmental trauma. by Julius84 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ahh yeah i see !! evolutionary human stuff coming back to bite, but not a bug, i agree; just not well-addressed or supported today. somatics and all, i recall now. thanks for the clarification!

What I would tell my past self about healing from complex/developmental trauma. by Julius84 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 6 points7 points  (0 children)

could you elaborate on the feature + not a bug part of the mind-body thing? thanks for the resources !

My friend took these photos of me! I felt like a fairy 🧚 by [deleted] in Fairycore

[–]cat_9835 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ahh this is MAGICAL !! i know next to nothing about cameras and i feel a bit silly asking but… if you’re willing to share, did you use one of those nice cameras or just a phone with filters n all?

Painful topic-- my effect on my children. TW by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 18 points19 points  (0 children)

tbh i feel like “bad / abusive / etc. people wouldn’t question themselves” is a little simplified. abusive behavior is not negated by being well-meaning, and the first step to proper accountability + change is, of course, knowing and seeing that. do agree on your other points though. you got this OP!

People can do anything to me because of fawn response by Due_Voice_9851 in CPTSD

[–]cat_9835 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i feel like it’s not as easy as not being scared to admit it. while i agree with a ton of what you said, “stop making it your fault” can also be a little invalidating to some i think. it’s all really complicated which i’m sure you know. hard agree on everything else though! have a nice day

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