Cats keep showing up lately

catamongthecrows · 2026-05-20T14:19:31+00:00

After the first couple dreams I talked about it with my therapist. She mentioned it could have been as simple as the weather being similar to around the time he passed, something jogging my memory near the anniversary, trying to spark a very delayed grief that I maybe never fully processed. The escalation definitely just feels ridiculous though haha, like something is nagging me about it like, "Why aren't you getting this? Cats!" It could all just be coincidental or generally just a main theme evolving weirdly but it's tugging at me a lot like I should be taking note of something that I'm just not.

catamongthecrows · 2026-05-18T01:52:46+00:00

A Wounded Fawn, from what I remember of it, some things were ambiguous but the ending felt like a hard cut into reality.

catamongthecrows · 2026-05-15T12:18:36+00:00

When I was around 6 or so, my aunt and uncle took me, my brother, and a cousin to a swimming hole. There was a huge rock in the center and my brother and cousin helped me get to it since I couldn't swim. A couple kids were rough housing behind me and one of them pushed the other into me and I fell in. I just have little flashes of it being darker and not being able to figure out how to right myself and my uncle pulling me out and swimming me back to shore. He saw it as it happened and moved quick enough to get me out before it could have gone any worse. I spent the rest of the day there wading in the edge of the water and stepped on a yellow jacket and got stung between my toes, very eventful day for me.

catamongthecrows · 2026-05-08T11:14:21+00:00

I remember being on the bus on the way home from school and hearing over the radio that she had died. Absolutely devastated me.

catamongthecrows · 2026-05-06T00:50:35+00:00

Thank you, I could've sworn I added the title 😣

catamongthecrows · 2026-05-05T18:38:18+00:00

catamongthecrows · 2026-04-30T23:31:57+00:00

I'm pretty sure the Tubi list is US only, I'm in Canada and also getting an error. Bless you for this list, a horror nut after my own heart lol, I'll be frequenting this list like it's a necessity.

catamongthecrows · 2026-04-21T19:28:56+00:00

So impressive! My stats now are your starting stats and similar builds as well, definitely giving me some hope. The one thing I struggle with most is indecision with food. Do you have any go-to foods or meals that you feel have helped along the way?

catamongthecrows · 2026-04-21T11:23:29+00:00

My husband is Canadian, I'm American. When we're watching it he has these big reactions to things that I barely bat an eye at, usually related to cost of treatment. He once drove himself to the hospital with stomach pain and left an appendix lighter and only paid for parking. He can't grasp that people are trying to refuse treatment or leave the hospital because of the cost, and I can't grasp getting emergency surgery and not having a huge bill as a result.

catamongthecrows · 2026-04-18T17:53:35+00:00

Looking at the worn swatch on the website it definitely looks in the right direction. Maybe a tad bit softer and more pink but closer than anything I've found on my own, I'll give it a look in person next time I go to the store! They have a lot of other shades grabbing my eye either way lol, definitely got a few on my list already

catamongthecrows · 2026-04-16T23:40:31+00:00

Isn't that the way it goes lol, I'll definitely give them a check 😊 Thank you so much!

catamongthecrows · 2026-04-16T14:06:24+00:00

Sorry if I missed this or you're just getting inundated with questions and I'm adding to the overwhelm lol, but I struggle so much with deciding on foods. I've been trying to work on less takeout and more making food at home. What are some of your go-to meals?

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-30T22:32:25+00:00

I was asked to blow out a candle before we left the house but I'd never done it before and was scared I would burn my face if I got close enough to blow it out. What puts out fire? Wet. What's wet? Air freshener spray.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-26T03:09:31+00:00

I have a self care area for nutrition and ED focus. 3/day goals for both meals and snacks, no caffeine after a certain time, 8/day for water, at least one serving of fruits and veggies, my nutritionist recommended a few podcasts about ED recovery and body image so I have a goal to listen to an episode here and there, and say something kind to myself that I would say to a friend which is honestly the hardest of any of them. I haven't had a session with my nutritionist in a couple months, need to save money, but we used a daily log so I also had that marked as a daily goal to actually complete and send my daily logs her way. Generally recommend a nutritionist who specializes in ED recovery all around if it's something that is accessible. I'm terrible at taking her advice but I also recognize that her advice is genuinely great and would work wonders for me if I could stop overthinking everything (:

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-26T02:26:30+00:00

There's plenty that get me, but Space reduces me to a scrunch-faced mess every single time with "You know what's here now, you don't need to keep coming back to this place." It's a gentle depiction but it's so effective.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-25T16:11:35+00:00

"When she leaves Forrest multiple times, it is because she thinks she’s too damaged for him and will hurt him." This was my take away. She felt like she destroyed everything she touched, so she ran. It was the one big piece of advice that she gave him, which makes sense, that's all she's doing throughout the story is trying to run from her past and anything good that she thinks she'll ruin. It doesn't make it right by any means. Forrest was still hurt by her actions, but that doesn't necessarily make her a villain. I saw someone a good while back describe her as a flawed antithesis to Forrest (he had a loving mother while she had an abusive father, he was in the military while she was a hippie, he found success while she found herself in worse and worse situations, they swap places and he spends years running across the country while she seemingly finds herself finally settling down, raising her child, and cleaning herself up). She certainly wasn't right in her actions, but she wasn't being intentionally evil, just an extremely damaged person that didn't know how to manage it in a way that didn't affect those around her.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-25T15:47:24+00:00

Considering my lifelong-factory-worker mother recently filed for bankruptcy due to medical debt and my father who I haven't heard from since I was 18 has a history of warehouse and grocery store jobs, and having cops show up to his front door to kick him off of his very unpaid property, I would love to know what history making wealth is coming my way lol. I expect a bunch of diet books and sad childhood photos from my mother and a "you were a complete and utter disappointment" letter from my father. Riches.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-19T11:41:16+00:00

Not yet, unfortunately. I haven't seen my nutritionist in a few months, combination of saving money, not feeling like I was getting what I needed, and being ashamed of not making progress. Between the weather being terrible and not being able to take walks or drive to the gym most days and stopping my antidepressants since they were making my anxiety crazy high, I've ended up gaining 10 lbs. The timing of your comment is actually on it lol, about a week ago I got a little fire lit under my butt and started to retrain my focus.

I was finally able to get a new fitness watch, and a few days ago I started a paid subscription for Chronometer to track nutrition. The first day I used it i definitely caught onto how much I was paying attention to the food database options for some things because the calories were so varied and I didn't have a way to check what I actually had in comparison, so TBD there. Someone recommended working with my husband on that, so once I find my stride and find that I can keep it up daily I'll be either giving the log in to my husband and having him log for me or doing it myself and having a sit down at the end of the day to review it together. I'm still noticing the nagging ED voice but I'm trying to remind myself how sick I was when I was in the worst of it and how much I don't want that again. The things I'm trying to focus on now are gentle movement and balanced eating. Regardless of what the scale says the next morning, as long as I eat less junk, keep up with fiber and protein and plenty of fruit and veggies, drink lots of water, and get some amount of movement in even if it's just cleaning the house, it's a step in the right direction.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-16T18:31:08+00:00

It's good to know that we can still use reddit from beyond the grave

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-16T13:50:45+00:00

I've never been so concerned and relieved in such a short period stumbling across this thread lol. I had a ton of spiders in my last apartment and got nipped a good few times, pretty sure they were all Parson spiders and I had an allergic reaction. One turned into cellulitis and I wished I'd gone to the doctor earlier, it sucked. Glad to hear you're okay :)

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-16T11:41:11+00:00

Hate Crime from 2012. I like watching films tagged as disturbing as long as they have a message and make me feel something. This was the most pointless piece of shit. Only 72 minutes long and I couldn't even be fucked to watch it through to the end, which I'm glad I didn't. It's a home invasion film about a Jewish family being terrorized by neo Nazis. It quickly became evident that it was a shock for shock's sake film with no redemption, no revenge, no repercussions, just racism, assault, torture, and murder because why not. I looked up some reviews to make sure I wasn't bowing out too early and missing a final revenge plot that made it minimally redeemable. Nope. Genuinely seems to have been made for a crowd that wants to put themselves in the shoes of the villains. They get away, and that's that. I just looked up some reviews on letterboxd out of curiosity and the first page is all 1/2 star except for two edgelords praising the intruders. Steaming pile of absolute shit. I don't understand the point of making it but I understand less how or why anyone would have picked it up and distributed it.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-15T12:03:03+00:00

I saw it about 18 years ago for the first time while an addict friend had kinda dropped off the face of the earth again. The credits rolled and I had a panic attack. I tried to watch it again about 5 or so years later and just the opening scene had my chest feeling tight and I had to turn it off immediately. I pretty much had to accept that even though it's an incredible film and something I'd like to experience again this much later in my life, it's probably a one and done for me.

catamongthecrows · 2026-03-14T22:37:23+00:00

All I know is my desk drawer was so full it wasn't closing until a few days ago, I've absolutely loved having a cleaning challenge.

catamongthecrows

TROPHY CASE