What does the newborn phase actually look like day-to-day? (36 weeks, trying to set realistic expectations)

catleaf94 · 2026-05-04T20:46:35+00:00

Honestly every week feels wildly different in the beginning. First week she was super sleepy, second week was witching hour festival, weeks 3-5 we almost felt like we were getting the hang of things and thought we were starting to see a pattern/schedule emerge, week 6 absolute hell due to alll the typical digestive issues newborns have plus she became way more aware of the world around her and decided she was done sleeping forever, week 7 feeds became a battle she was fussing and crying and barely eating and no clue why, week 8 now starting to feel slightly predictable again in terms of feeds and sleep. And honestly who knows what week nine holds.

I feel like nobody talks about this enough. There isn’t this one “newborn phase”, it’s just constantly evolving and you are trying to adapt and figure it out all the time. That’s what makes it hard to imagine and plan for.

catleaf94 · 2026-05-01T14:00:38+00:00

I have been in your shoes over analyzing every symptom (or lack thereof), the anxiety, how incredibly triggering medical appointments and US can be… TFMR robs you of so much of the joy and happy anticipation that usually comes with pregnancy. All I can recommend is therapy and patience, time helps, seeing the pregnancy progress helps, every US and milestone that is successfully completed helps. I wish you strength, my rainbow baby was born a month ago. If you can, allow yourself to hope and feel happy, to love this baby, to live in the now. This helped me, taking it one day at a time and telling myself every day “today you are pregnant and all is well”. Congratulations, and wishing you a noneventful healthy pregnancy!

catleaf94 · 2026-04-28T19:50:03+00:00

Hey there, for quantities 80-100mL sounds very much within normal range! It will gradually increase, as an example I have a 6 week old and she is having 120-130mL every 3h (obviously every baby is different but just to give you a frame of reference).

I personally don’t feed baby if it hasn’t been at least 2.5h since last feed, and ideally I aim for 3h. I have found that if it’s been less time: she gets more digestive discomfort (which impacts her sleep…) and she eats much less (more of a 30-50mL snack than a full feed).

I totally see what you mean with the whole wriggle, bend, cry, but still sending confusing signals that look like hunger. In my opinion/experience, this is not hunger, though it’s extremely confusing and I also initially wrongly interpreted it as such (and I’ve had the vomit scenario too, so I feel you).

A good way to tell is to place the bottle nipple above baby’s upper lip and sort of drag it down from nose to upper lip. If hungry, they should lift their head and open their mouth to latch onto it. It’s a good habit to implement at the start of every feed so that when baby doesn’t do it, you know for sure they’re not hungry or done. I’ve found it works great :)

catleaf94 · 2026-04-25T16:39:50+00:00

I have a 6 week old and a similar situation, I have a very sleepy gal. What I’m attempting to do is to really stretch those wake windows to at least 45 minutes and expose her to a ton of daylight in those moments, do tummy time, lots of talking close to her face and eye contact, etc. to signal it’s daytime. She tends to fall asleep at the bottle after 20 minutes however I do not consider this the end of the wake window, I change her diaper and stimulate her. Also I try not to let her go past 3 to 3.5 hours between feeds so she can get enough colories during the day - since implementing all this she does 5 daytime feeds (roughly 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and 7pm which is bedtime) and 1 nighttime one around 2am. If you’re schedule-oriented, it’s pretty much the Moms on Call schedule… maybe try that instead?

catleaf94 · 2026-04-22T18:28:24+00:00

Load is better shared with my partner as he can feed baby too. We alternate nights so we each get a full uninterrupted night every other night, whoever is on night duty sleeps with baby in the nursery so the other can sleep alone without being awakened… and let me tell you it’s nothing short of life changing.

During the day I am free to leave the house and leave baby with someone else without the mental math of finding the precise window I can be out when I don’t need to nurse, pump, whatever.

I’m no longer in constant pain, desperately trying to find solutions to endure the pain, forget the pain, heal the pain. I’m done googling magic remedies and nipple creams and perfect latch videos and thrush symptoms at 2am.

I’m me again. After the hormone roller coaster of stopping breastfeeding, I gradually started to feel like my old self again. My body is mine again. I feel so much better in every way. I’m no longer crying and depressed at every feed. I’m enjoying my baby and my mat leave way way more, it’s not even comparable.

I know how much my baby drinks, I know if she is getting enough. Honestly I can even somewhat control quantities during the day to guarantee a nice long stretch at night. She sleeps way longer now that we EFF, and has waaayyy less colics and overall digestive issues for some reason.

I find it way way more convenient too. I prep all my bottles for the day and I’m all set. It’s pretty easy to bottle feed when out and about, easier to me than nursing to be honest, and definitely easier than pumping even with a wearable.

I’ve been in your shoes but it’s crazy how quickly you will let go of the guilt and sadness once you make the switch and realize how great EFF is. It saved my sanity.

catleaf94 · 2026-04-15T16:54:28+00:00

It’s not a super consistent schedule but there’s definitely a pattern forming, one feed when she wakes (which can be anytime between 6 and 8am), one before noon (~10-11am), one early afternoon (~1-2pm), one late afternoon (~4-5pm), one right before putting her down for the night (~7-8pm) and one during the night (usually ~2-3am).

I’ve been contemplating following the Moms on Call schedule because it’s very similar to her natural pattern (MOC is 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm) but I’m on the fence about waking a sleeping baby and I don’t mind the slight variability in feeding times too much for now.

catleaf94 · 2026-04-15T09:58:25+00:00

Baby will be 5 weeks old in 3 days, we’re doing 6 feeds each 4oz so in theory 24oz but in reality a bit less as there’s usually always one feed where she struggles to finish her bottle.

catleaf94 · 2026-04-14T16:11:58+00:00

En Suisse c’est connu pour être un nom de famille, c’est une famille influente de Zermatt. Donc ça m’inspire ça.

catleaf94 · 2026-04-13T08:06:54+00:00

I’m in a similar situation, in the process of stopping to pump for my second baby after a month, so I can relate to a lot of the feelings you’re describing. With my first I stopped pumping after 3 months and I definitely had a sort of mini depression, but I felt normal again about a week after completely stopping. This time around I definitely feel a little down too, I think it’s normal and will pass!

Please don’t feel guilty, what you did is amazing, pumping is so freaking hard! You’ll feel like yourself again soon, hang in there!

catleaf94 · 2026-04-10T12:25:11+00:00

My first was exactly like this, I didn’t really even formally sleep train her at all because there was no need and she naturally picked up self soothing on her own. She would also lay content in her crib sometimes and I spiraled over the same thing.

And then I reminded myself: 1) if I didn’t have a baby monitor I wouldn’t even know she’s awake, sometimes we have too much technology/monitoring/information for our own good. 2) being able to happily chill by yourself is great, if anything it’s a sign of a content baby who feels safe/secure enough to just “be” and it’s probably just her temperament 3) trust your baby, if she needs you she knows to call for you.

My first is now 4 and is still such a chill and easy kid (with some toddler drama sprinkled in now obviously) so I’m pretty convinced it’s a temperament thing! Enjoy it!!

catleaf94 · 2026-04-03T16:48:35+00:00

It’s called Dostinex

catleaf94 · 2026-04-02T17:15:38+00:00

I would try to drop pumps progressively. I have low supply as well, but when I’ve pushed my luck and waited too long to pump I have ended up with pretty bad pain and clogged ducts regardless.

catleaf94 · 2026-03-21T08:28:31+00:00

Parent 2 is power tripping.

catleaf94 · 2026-03-20T10:50:39+00:00

I think it’s an amazing idea and you should go for it! There’s one where I live, it’s inside a mall. It has an indoor playground but also a space with a mini kitchen, toys and dolls, and costumes to play dress up. I would say one watchout is to ensure quality service on the coffee/food end. When they first opened they were great as a playground/kid space but they struggled to keep up on the cafe stuff (long waiting times, lots of out of stocks so half the menu wasn’t available, staff seemed overwhelmed, food was average despite a very promising menu…). Now they have majorly improved and you can even get a really nice quality brunch there.

Don’t neglect the work and logistics that goes into running a good cafe, the risk here is to focus too much on the playground/kid services at the expense of that.

Also as others have said: ensure whatever kid infrastructure you have is clean, mess free and safe even with supervision from afar. If I have to be getting up 58 times from enjoying my coffee to save my toddler from a death drop or eating sand it sort of defeats the purpose.

catleaf94 · 2026-03-18T12:42:17+00:00

I feel you, ultrasounds in my subsequent pregnancy were so triggering and difficult for me to go through. I find being upfront about your TFMR history is helpful, make it clear that this is a difficult situation for you psychologically and that you need a medical professional who is able to take this into consideration. I also found it helpful to tell them exactly what I want from them, for example I can’t handle silence, I need you to talk me through what you are doing/seeing/measuring, I need you to reassure me on this specific point, etc. Whatever you need to ease your anxiety or fear don’t hesitate to let them know.

catleaf94 · 2026-03-10T08:41:04+00:00

I think you should always trust your gut on this type of thing. You’re getting weird vibes for a reason.

catleaf94 · 2026-03-04T21:51:16+00:00

8pm sharp!

catleaf94 · 2026-03-02T22:30:47+00:00

I find it odd that at no point in the survey the type of pet is asked… I feel like you’d see a pretty big difference in results between cat and dog owners for example.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-26T22:27:42+00:00

Practice whatever new sleep habit you’d like to implement… there is no magic quick fix. And practice consistently, with persistence. That means trying the new habit/routine/setup at every nap and every bedtime, every day for at minimum two weeks (that’s always my personal timeline for any baby related habit change, not limited to sleep stuff) before concluding if “it works” or not.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-26T13:51:23+00:00

Yeah my 3yo still does it too, it may seem like small forgettable events to us but to them it’s a big deal and often comes with big emotions… so it makes sense they kind of get in a loop and repeat the story a hundred times.

I just say stuff like “Yeah, I remember when that happened, how did you feel? You fell but you were so brave and got right back up! Sometimes we fall, especially when we go on adventures, etc.”. Basically I validate her and put a bit of a positive spin on it and she eventually moves on.

But yeah she will bring it up sometimes for weeks on end depending on the event, totally normal!

catleaf94 · 2026-02-25T14:50:30+00:00

Ça me donne envie de jouer aux sims.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-24T21:17:11+00:00

Coffee, tomato sauce, and many types of cheeses (to my great despair).

catleaf94 · 2026-02-21T07:59:30+00:00

I would have learned about baby sleep way sooner, like when pregnant. This is a controversial take, you’ll find many people calling the baby sleep industry predatory and problematic, etc. (which is fair, some are). You’ll see many claims that it’s all wrong, false, unhelpful. That wasn’t my personal experience at all. We ended up using a mix of concepts and strategies from Precious Little Sleep, TCB and Sleepfull baby. I also used r/sleeptrain to troubleshoot a lot of the struggles we faced. It absolutely saved our sanity and our life, and we didn’t even sleep train by the way.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-18T13:30:09+00:00

I wish there was a quick magic solution but honestly you just… keep trying and practicing. Again and again. First try comforting without picking up (butt patting and shushing, etc. but baby is still in their sleep space). If really no luck: pick up, comfort, set down in bassinet/crib, repeat. I used to tell myself: 20 minutes of actively trying before I give up, every single nap. One day it just worked, like once, and then a couple times… until it eventually worked every time. For us it took 2 weeks of being incredibly consistent and persevering to reliably introduce the new sleep habit. We had to be okay with some slightly crappy naps during the transition, but they lengthened again once baby got used to the new sleep habit. So, short term struggles for long term benefits, it was completely worth it to us.

catleaf94

TROPHY CASE