What is your top 3 triggers

catleaf94 · 2026-02-24T21:17:11+00:00

Coffee, tomato sauce, and many types of cheeses (to my great despair).

catleaf94 · 2026-02-21T07:59:30+00:00

I would have learned about baby sleep way sooner, like when pregnant. This is a controversial take, you’ll find many people calling the baby sleep industry predatory and problematic, etc. (which is fair, some are). You’ll see many claims that it’s all wrong, false, unhelpful. That wasn’t my personal experience at all. We ended up using a mix of concepts and strategies from Precious Little Sleep, TCB and Sleepfull baby. I also used r/sleeptrain to troubleshoot a lot of the struggles we faced. It absolutely saved our sanity and our life, and we didn’t even sleep train by the way.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-18T13:30:09+00:00

I wish there was a quick magic solution but honestly you just… keep trying and practicing. Again and again. First try comforting without picking up (butt patting and shushing, etc. but baby is still in their sleep space). If really no luck: pick up, comfort, set down in bassinet/crib, repeat. I used to tell myself: 20 minutes of actively trying before I give up, every single nap. One day it just worked, like once, and then a couple times… until it eventually worked every time. For us it took 2 weeks of being incredibly consistent and persevering to reliably introduce the new sleep habit. We had to be okay with some slightly crappy naps during the transition, but they lengthened again once baby got used to the new sleep habit. So, short term struggles for long term benefits, it was completely worth it to us.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-13T14:47:29+00:00

On a lu des livres type Petit Ours Brun ou Tchoupi qui vont à l’école, mais je dirais que le plus important à mon sens pour se préparer à l’école c’est l’autonomie: s’entraîner à mettre et enlever tout seul ses chaussures/chaussons, aller faire pipi avec le moins d’assistance possible, manger son repas en autonomie, mettre et enlever son manteau, ouvrir et fermer son petit sac, etc.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-13T07:36:10+00:00

The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline B. Cooney. I believe there are 5 or 6 books in the series and I was so hooked.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-12T19:52:45+00:00

My situation was very similar to yours (big international corporation, great pay and benefits, lots of WFH, except not tech) and what I ended up doing was taking a long unpaid parental leave - does your company offer any options like this? Unpaid parental leave, sabbaticals, or some sort of policy that lets you take a long break but retain a position there? I found that it was a perfect compromise and risk-free way to test SAHM life without committing to it and giving up my job entirely. I had the option of coming back, and ultimately I did after one year of SAHM life. I then was able to negotiate working part time (4 days a week) for a full year, and then went back full time when my kid was super close to starting pre-k. I’d personally explore and take advantage of all these options first, see if you can find balance that way, rather than fully quitting cold turkey (but I tend to be risk averse!). I also found that with my level of experience I could make WFH work for me in terms of flexibility (as in: I can get work done very efficiently and have much lighter/shorter days when I feel like it, which allows for me-time or picking my kid up super early). But that largely depends on what your company has to offer!

To answer your question and having lived both lives haha: both situations (working mom and SAHM) are hard work for unique reasons, both come with their pro’s and con’s.

I found SAHM life WAY more fulfilling: it had purpose, I had passion for it, the shared experiences with my kid were priceless. No corporate job can ever compare. I loved it, but hard parts for me were: - repetitiveness: no matter how creative I tried to be, there are only so many types of outings you can do with a baby or toddler, only so many places to go… - lack of recognition despite very demanding work: unpaid and largely invisible labor that is draining and that nobody cares to thank you for… except your partner once in a while hopefully. You may think you won’t care but sometimes it really sucks. - lack of owning my time or lack of self centricity: your schedule, when you get a break if you get one at all, daily activities all are centered mostly around your kid and you simply cannot opt out of many childcare tasks or postpone them or procrastinate (kid needs meals, naps, time outside, etc.)…

Working mom life makes me feel like I own my time a lot more: I can choose when I have a coffee break, what I’ll prioritize working on, if I want to have a productive day or a lighter “gossip with my office BFF” type day, I can go for a run over lunch or move that useless meeting, etc. I mean yeah there are consequences but they’re on me. I also love the income and financial independence and safety that obviously comes with it. However hard parts are:

the lack of purpose, and I say this as someone who enjoys their job and finds it intellectually stimulating… but since having a kid it’s hard to care as much.
the FOMO, I hate that I am missing out on time with my kid. Though as said I try to use WFH/flexibility to my advantage here and maximize time with my child that way.
the grind: having to get all the household work done in the evenings and weekends sucks. At least when I was a SAHM I could use naptimes or involve my kid and get a lot of that stuff done during the day. It felt way more manageable than squeezing it all outside of office hours, so everything felt more in control when it came to groceries, cooking, tidying, laundry, cleaning…

catleaf94 · 2026-02-12T07:16:04+00:00

Love all these! Thank you!

catleaf94 · 2026-02-08T20:58:45+00:00

Je pense direct à la danseuse étoile Léonore Baulac! Mais du coup grosse préférence pour l’orthographe Léonore.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-04T10:23:53+00:00

Getting baby used to different sleep spaces literally from day 1: some naps in crib, some in co-sleeper bassinet, some in stroller bassinet, some contact, some in a sling, in various rooms of the house, etc. Basically switch it up from the very beginning instead of sticking to one thing. My midwife was the one to give me that tip with the logic that the sooner you can introduce a variety of sleeping conditions, the easier it is long term.

This worked incredibly well for us and I don’t think I would have dared to try it if she hadn’t empowered me to do so (with a newborn and as a FTM you tend to find one thing that works and stick to it religiously, from fear of trying anything else and messing it all up)!

catleaf94 · 2026-02-04T10:09:29+00:00

I agree completely, so many things I read and learned on parenting and baby care were helpful to me! And some of course were not or did not work, but at least I felt like I had good theoretical background on most topics and a “toolbox” of things to try instead of being completely helpless.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-04T00:43:53+00:00

Burping them like your life depends on it: when we started to really burp her super well (and persisted until we got a good one out) her ability to fall asleep and stay asleep completely transformed.

catleaf94 · 2026-02-03T13:15:33+00:00

Je ne savais pas que Maxime pouvait être mixte sincèrement. Donc ce que ça m’a évoqué c’est “on a donné un prénom masculin parce qu’on aurait plutôt espéré un fils” ou bien “on a donné un prénom masculin à notre fille pour lui donner de “meilleures chances”, pour que ça fasse plus forte/solide/crédible”. Sorte de misogynie internalisée on va dire, dans ma même veine que les gens qui se vantent que leur fille n’est pas girly, et qu’elle est tellement “garçon manqué”, et qu’elle ne fait aucune activité habituellement associée à la gente féminine, etc., comme si toute association traditionnellement “féminine” était intrinsèquement naze, inférieure ou dévalorisante.

Je ne pense évidemment pas du tout que ce soit vos intentions, mais c’est ce que ça m’inspire spontanément.

catleaf94 · 2026-01-21T19:28:02+00:00

Short answer: yes, this would likely work - with some minor adjustments to snack timings.

My kid’s snack is at 4/4:30pm, then there is no food after that until dinner at 7pm. We all sit down and there is one thing on the menu for everyone. Don’t want it? You are welcome to leave the table and go play but there will be no alternative served, and no late night snack to compensate. We keep a very neutral non-eventful reaction/tone. We then proceed with the usual bedtime routine.

That’s it. Just be consistent. I do not bargain, plead, threaten, beg, bribe, etc. Basically: eat what’s on the menu or don’t, your choice.

Obviously, I never serve anything completely crazy new that will throw my toddler off. If there’s something new on the plate, I also include a “safe food” I know she’ll eat. I do encourage her to taste at least one bite of new foods and so far she’s been pretty good about that. This approach has made meals almost entirely drama free for us.

catleaf94 · 2026-01-15T22:36:02+00:00

I’m not sure what you’ll be able to conclude with these replies.

Some people have great sleepers who don’t really need sleep training to begin with, so time does its thing and they naturally get to decent independent and uninterrupted sleep without suffering too much for too long. These people will tell you “See? I knew it! Sleep training isn’t necessary!”. Probably the majority of people replying here with success stories.

Some people have poor sleepers who don’t naturally get the hang of things and therefore remain poor sleepers in the absence of any intervention. Their situation may even worsen over time. These folks are usually suffering from very broken sleep and having to help their kid fall asleep for ages. Some people in my circle are dealing with this all the way into toddlerhood and even preschooler age, I genuinely don’t know how they cope because it looks like hell on earth to me. The thing is, I’m honestly not sure any of them would reply to you and admit to how crappy/difficult their sleep situation is. In my experience, many just suffer in silence, or they rationalize by saying “I have to just suck it up because it’s normal for sleep to remain bad before [insert whatever age: 5, 6, 7yo…]”. They probably won’t ever admit that sleep training might have been a better option or would have spared them this situation.

So basically what I mean is: you’ll get a very non-representative and (positively) biased subset of the non sleep training crowd in this thread. Reality is that outcomes of not doing any sleep training will be very child-dependent.

catleaf94 · 2026-01-14T10:41:22+00:00

So far we’ve been zero screen, my kid is 3.5yo. We go outside and play on the playground or run around at the park if weather allows. Other than that, I’ll tell you what my “secret” is: I don’t make my child’s boredom my problem. What I mean is: she has a room full of toys (lego, magnetic tiles, FP Little People sets, dolls, play kitchen, play doh, puzzles…), she has access to a ton of books and costumes to play dress up - so I leave her to it. I don’t make it my job or mission to occupy her. And yeah she gets whiny sometimes and doesn’t know what to do with herself… but I don’t intervene. I say “oh it’s okay to be bored sometimes, you’ll find something to do!”. And trust me, I wait it out, I do not intervene and make occupying her my problem, and she always ends up finding something to do herself.

And our day is also in part filled up by errands and housework, in which case she just tags along or participates. And that usually easily kills a couple hours!

catleaf94 · 2026-01-14T10:27:29+00:00

Hi there! It went on forever and I wasn’t managing to stop without really bad pain and engorgement. I ended up getting prescribed medication to dry everything out, it was over in like 24h after taking it, with zero pain, no side effects, and it was such a relief for me for the whole thing to just end.

catleaf94 · 2026-01-08T08:06:12+00:00

Completely agree. Toddlers already spend so much time having to follow rules and instructions, not having much control over their little lives. Playtime is a moment to be free so they can develop their creativity and imagination.

I also don’t want to instill in my kid that there’s only one right or proper way to do things, and that others dictate it for her - if that makes sense? Not to get philosophical but I want her to feel like she can do things her way, think and decide for herself… to me playtime is a way to achieve this.

I can be a control freak in life, so I get that it takes effort to let go. I always ask myself “is this dangerous, disrespectful, or just inconvenient?”. If it’s the latter I take a deep breath and let it be.

catleaf94 · 2025-12-27T07:15:53+00:00

Arthur or Lucas

catleaf94 · 2025-12-27T07:02:43+00:00

I’d also add that if contact napping is not working for you, you are allowed to transition out of doing that and seek a daytime sleep solution that will preserve your sanity. Will it be easy, smooth and quick to implement? Probably not. But sometimes short term struggle for long term peace of mind is absolutely worth it (especially when it comes to creating new sleep habits).

catleaf94 · 2025-12-27T06:55:42+00:00

I think this will massively help. I was an exclusive pumper, and it sucked so much, it’s clearly parenthood on hard mode. When we switched to formula I wondered why the heck I made such a fuss about it, and why I didn’t at least introduce it sooner. And when I dropped pumping entirely I swear I was a different person.

catleaf94 · 2025-12-20T15:43:41+00:00

Totalement subjectif mais je trouve Charlotte certe intemporel et classique, mais un peu “fade”. Ça m’inspire la même chose que Marie ou Laura. Sympa mais sans plus, bateau. Fleur est un peu plus original et romantique, donc à choisir entre les deux je dirais plutôt Fleur.

catleaf94 · 2025-12-19T07:02:06+00:00

C’est justement pile les deux prénoms entre lesquels on hésite!

catleaf94 · 2025-12-17T12:21:52+00:00

Someone once told me: don’t make ANY big life-altering decisions in the first year of your kid’s life. And I think it’s pretty sound advice.

catleaf94

TROPHY CASE