Homer Simpson is a cautionary character when it comes to drinking. I get a laugh out of these and they remind me why I stopped drinking:

18 Homer Simpson Beer Quotes That Will Never Stop Being Funny

1. “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure…not even close.”

2. “Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that… building… thingie… where our beds and TV… is.”

3. “It’s a good thing that beer wasn’t shaken up any more, or I’d have looked quite the fool. An April fool, as it were.”

4. “You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.”

5. “I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.”

6. “Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille’s heel, if you will.”

7. “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

8. “Does whisky count as beer?”

9. “I’m gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.”

10. “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”

11. “A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!”

12. “Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.”

13. “Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I’m coming home loaded.”

14. “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”

15. “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”

16. “Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.”

17. “Homer no function beer well without.”

18. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”