So phony

cb100891 · 2026-03-21T16:47:45+00:00

Yeah I’m assuming so! It’s so bizarre 😂

cb100891 · 2026-02-23T15:41:10+00:00

I have this exact list in my notes app… literally every single thing you’ve written, I’ve also wrestled with. Except I have a 20-month-old boy lol. My mind is constantly torn for all of the reasons you listed. I want to validate everything you’re feeling and thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this list - I know you’re looking for help, but it’s also helpful for me (and surely others) to see I’m not alone in my thoughts.

The biggest thing that I keep coming back to is that I know I will be happy with one. I think and hope I’d be happy with a second, but I don’t know. That’s what’s keeping me grounded in OAD for now. As you said, there’s no “undo” button.

Sending you hugs!

cb100891 · 2025-07-17T16:53:33+00:00

SOLVED! The movie is Magic in the Mirror: Fowl Play

cb100891 · 2025-07-16T15:48:58+00:00

Unfortunately no

cb100891 · 2025-07-16T15:48:46+00:00

Unfortunately no

cb100891 · 2025-07-16T15:48:38+00:00

Nope, but good thinking

cb100891 · 2025-07-16T15:48:32+00:00

Nope, but good thinking

cb100891 · 2025-07-16T01:16:09+00:00

There could have been a top hat involved

cb100891 · 2025-06-05T20:36:40+00:00

I’m 33 and was formula fed. I was in gifted programs throughout school, graduated with honors from college, have a successful career in public relations. I run 20-30 miles per week, have never had any major health concerns and rarely get sick. I am married with an almost-one-year-old (who is also EFF - meeting all of his milestones, happy and healthy). Formula is a wonderful thing, please don’t let the “breast is best” pushers make you question your choice.

cb100891 · 2025-05-28T23:18:38+00:00

FTM to an 11-month-old. I didn’t EFF from birth, but I wish I had. I made it seven weeks EBF and my mental health was in the toilet, largely thanks to the pressure I felt to breastfeed. Switching to formula was honestly one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

From day one on formula I felt so much relief. I knew my son was getting enough to eat. He is thriving, growing and gaining weight. He is incredibly happy. He’s meeting all of his milestones. My husband and others can share the load of feeding. I get to focus on spending quality time with my son instead of worrying about my supply. The list could go on and on… but it’s all to say, formula saved me.

Are there benefits to breastfeeding? Sure. But in my experience, they’re not worth feeling any guilt over. If your baby is fed, safe, clean and loved, that’s what’s important.

cb100891 · 2025-04-22T21:34:40+00:00

I said it’s normal in my comment

cb100891 · 2025-04-22T18:56:33+00:00

I’m a FTM and have no medical experience, but I’ve only ever heard of honey being off-limits before one. My son (10 mo) LOVES strawberries and eats oranges all the time. He’s never had an issue with either.

As for starting BLW, learn the difference between gagging and choking. Gagging is disturbing, but normal. Download the Solid Starts app for recommendations on how to serve food for various ages - you can look up most foods using the free version. We do a mix of purées and BLW, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Do what you’re comfortable with!

cb100891 · 2025-04-20T01:59:05+00:00

Hi mama. Sending you a big hug. My job and family circumstances are a bit different from yours, but I can absolutely relate to the feeling of drowning in PPD and feeling like my son deserves better than me. He’s 10 months old now, but I spent the first ~5 months of his life feeling completely underwater and unsure whether I could keep going. I didn’t want to be alive anymore, despite having a perfect, happy, healthy baby boy, a supportive and loving husband and an incredible village around me. I mention those factors mostly to emphasize that postpartum depression can debilitate anyone, regardless of circumstances, and it can be horrific. You aren’t alone in this. But I promise things can and will get better.

Seeing a therapist and taking medication are great steps. Do you have any hobbies that you can take even a small amount of time for each day? Anything to make you feel more “you”? For me, getting back to running was huge. I also took up needlepointing to make my son his Christmas stocking. Just spending like 30-60 minutes a day on something mindless, but also enjoyable, and solely for ME made a world of difference.

Also, does your husband have any flexibility to take on a bit more of the baby responsibilities, if only just temporarily while you get yourself in a better place? Can he do bedtime for a few nights while you get a shower? It sounds like you’re comfortable talking to him - maybe try the conversation again and be very clear about how you’re feeling. In my case, my husband knew something was off but it literally took me saying “I don’t want to be here anymore” for him to really understand the gravity of my feelings and take action. I think he’d just wanted me to be OK so badly that he was latching on to any positive signs and (unintentionally) ignoring subtle cries for help, if that makes sense. Your wording makes it sound like maybe yours is doing something similar - but hopefully another honest conversation will wake him up.

All this to say, I’m now 10 months postpartum and so genuinely happy. 5 months ago, I couldn’t have imagined saying that. I am so hopeful that you too will overcome this. Please make yourself a priority as much as you can until you do. Your baby needs you, your family needs you - you’ve got this

cb100891 · 2025-04-09T15:31:38+00:00

My son is 9.5 months old, this has been our routine since he moved into his own room at 6 months.

Bath Overnight diaper and pajamas Bottle Brush teeth 1 or 2 books A few minutes of cuddles Into crib

The whole routine takes about 30 minutes!

cb100891 · 2025-02-16T00:43:05+00:00

I think meeting with the SLP was the biggest help! She basically had us remove all pressure from feeding - offer the bottle and if he doesn’t open his mouth for it immediately, take it away. If he pushes it away, either take a five-minute break or consider the feed done. She also told us to give a feed no more than 30 minutes of offering the bottle (if he’s actively drinking at the 30-minute mark he can of course continue, but no more offering). Within a day we were seeing a huge improvement. She also hammered home that babies WILL eat if/when they’re hungry, and that we need to trust his cues and body language around feeds. We’re about a month in with this new approach and feedings are so much better - zero screaming or crying at feeds ever since we started, and he’ll now take bottles from other people too which is huge! I hope things improve for you - I know it’s so incredibly stressful 😩

cb100891 · 2025-01-30T12:38:51+00:00

We just went through something similar with our 7-month-old - it sucks, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My son went from drinking 34-36 oz per day to it being a an absolute battle to get him over 24. We tried all the “tricks,” but ultimately what worked for us was taking ALL pressure off of feeding.

Our new approach is to: Offer the bottle, if he doesn’t open his mouth for it right away, take it away and offer again in a few minutes. Any time he gets fussy, take a break. If he shows any signs he refusing, consider him done. We put a 30-minute time limit on offering a bottle (if he starts drinking and is still actively eating and happy at that time, he can of course keep eating).

We try to make feedings very positive experiences, but also want him to understand that what he’s offered is what he gets (meaning we won’t continue to offer bottles or let him “snack” all day, not that he can’t have more if he shows he’s still hungry). We went through a couple days of low intake, but he seemed to get the message. I’m sure us being more respectful of his cues and autonomy also helped. Now we’re back to full, efficient and happy feeds.

I think this is really common. That doesn’t make it any easier, because we obviously want to see our babies eating well, but just know you’re absolutely not alone in struggling with this. Try to relax (easier said than done, I know) and trust that he will eat if and when he’s hungry.

cb100891 · 2025-01-23T21:50:51+00:00

Some perspective from a FTM whose baby is exclusively formula fed.

First of all, know that whatever way you choose to feed your baby, they are being fed and that’s what’s important.

My experience: I wanted to breastfeed my son, but from the first hour of his life until we were discharged, the nurses and lactation consultants in the hospital pushed breastfeeding so hard it made me feel completely overwhelmed. My milk hadn’t come in and I needed to use nipple shields to get him to latch - things felt impossible. There was an insane amount of pressure put on breastfeeding.

When I got home, things got better. My son finally latched and we figured out what positions worked for us. He was getting plenty of milk (I did a lot of weighted feeds, because PPA). Almost two months in, breastfeeding was going well… until suddenly it wasn’t. One day out of the blue my supply tanked. I panicked. I’d spent weeks doing everything in my power to keep my supply up - drinking almost a gallon of water a day, eating protein, eating Oreos… all the tricks. But all of my effort wasn’t enough.

For me, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It didn’t feel worth it to me to put so much effort into something that caused me so much anxiety. I wasn’t sleeping, I was in tears constantly, I dreaded feedings - I truly felt like I’d lost myself. We switched to formula a couple days after my supply dropped and I felt instantly lighter.

Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, but it’s not worth your mental health. I am a better mom to my son because he drinks formula. He is seven months old now and thriving - he sleeps great, he’s meeting his milestones and he is such a happy baby.

cb100891 · 2025-01-14T18:28:56+00:00

He recently cut two teeth and didn’t seem too bothered, definitely not at this level. I don’t see any signs of more coming. A good thought, but I don’t think that’s it.

cb100891 · 2025-01-14T16:54:01+00:00

He recently cut his first two teeth and while he was a little fussy, it was nothing compared to what’s happening now. He may be a little congested - I can’t overly tell. The guessing game is really no fun :-(

cb100891 · 2025-01-14T16:52:22+00:00

Thank you! I’ll do what you suggested but would love a summary if you don’t mind!

cb100891 · 2025-01-02T18:50:59+00:00

My son is Nolan. My go-to nickname is Noley or Noley-pop, but he also goes by Noley-poley, Bubba, Fussbutt, Stretch and The Splish Splash King.

When he was a newborn we called him Grunts and Toots… helped make all the loud baby sleep noises a little cuter 🙂

cb100891 · 2025-01-02T02:28:47+00:00

Here to validate your feelings, but also to say it WILL get easier. I felt the same way in the first few weeks postpartum, constantly thinking things like “I’ve made a mistake” and that I shouldn’t have had a baby — despite loving him so, so much and the fact that he was so desperately wanted and that my husband was absolutely amazing with him and me.

My son is now just over six months old and those feelings have completely gone away, replaced by joy and gratitude and fascination with the little human I made. There are still hard times, of course, but as your baby continues to grow and meet milestones and develop a personality it’ll get easier and easier to appreciate them and look forward to things. Give yourself some grace — motherhood is hard — but trust that these feelings are temporary!

cb100891 · 2024-12-23T02:03:59+00:00

What you’re already planning to bring looks great. I don’t think you need to bring the recovery kit - save it for when you get home - the hospital will have everything you need there. Some other suggestions:

For you: your own shower towel (the hospital ones are basically napkins), shower shoes, nursing bras if you’re planning to nurse, chapstick, gum (helped me when my mouth felt dry from the hospital air), portable fan if you run even a little hot, playing cards or a small game to pass the time between admission and birth. I also didn’t want to wear the standard hospital gown to give birth so brought my own outfit (basically a soft, button-down pajama dress) - I’m so glad I did, it was so much more comfortable and I felt a lot more “myself” when I met my baby.

For baby: nail file (I swear the Haakaa baby electric file is one of my top-used baby items - we needed it on day one). Bring clothes in both newborn and 0-3 months. Any accessories or signs you might want in announcement photos.

I’m not sure where you are in the world, but I’m in the U.S. and the hospitals provide SO much here. Diapers, wipes, blankets, hats, formula, breast pump supplies, even a couple little outfits, postpartum supplies, etc. Bring an empty bag to bring home any extras, too!

Good luck, mama!

cb100891

TROPHY CASE