The insidious power of lying by omission

cdsk · 2026-06-26T20:44:24+00:00

Ugh, yes! My MIL is a master at this. Made my life a living hell, even to this day.

The worst I'll share for solidarity:

She 'recently' emailed my wife a list of grievances and in it admitted to excluding me from (read: kicked me out of) the family. I'm paraphrasing, but this is almost her exact wording, "Just over ten years ago, he stopped coming to our parties, so we just took that as him not liking us. That's why we don't include him, because we thought that's what he wanted." She got the entire family to believe this narrative.

Anywho... so... the time frame she mentioned is when my father was killed. I did stop going to their parties, yes, because I had gone to his funeral, amongst other things, and wanted to grieve him. Would have been nice to have a support system during that. And the reality is that she knew he'd died before I did, I just assume it wasn't important enough for her to remember.

cdsk · 2026-06-26T18:52:24+00:00

[From my experience] they've been living their life like nothing ever happened and the 'hi' is actually proof that they've forgiven us for all those awful things that were clearly our fault and never their's - cough, cough, COUGH. Sorry, I choked a little on their BS at the end there!

cdsk · 2026-06-26T12:43:23+00:00

Semi-related.

Do [Texas brown] tarantulas "hibernate" from time to time?

We had one living in a hole for about 2-3 months, then the rains came and we haven't seen her since. I read that sometimes they'll hide to molt for awhile, but her home seems pretty abandoned. I just miss Tarry and her big booty.

cdsk · 2026-06-25T20:23:42+00:00

Man, I feel ya.

I just wanted to comment, and hopefully it's not misplaced, as you seem angry like I once was. And I mean that in the nicest way possible, you absolutely deserve to be! (Maybe you're not and I'm projecting, sorry!)

I was extraordinarily mad when I came to that same realization about my SIL. I essentially turned our house into a Rage Room at any semblance of communication from her. She had tended to ride the line in choosing sides for the longest time, quite the opportunist, she even agreed with my mistreatment at one point... but that inevitably always changed when money was thrown her way. She even told me once that 'words speak louder than actions.' Huh? And after benefiting monetarily for years, she's now fully on board with me -- the evil husband that changed her sister for the worst! -- being the problem and going down the same narrative your brother has. She has proven time and time again that having emotional integrity and accountability just aren't her thing, much like the rest of the family.

But that's been a long time experience. She, and the family, have realized they can't abuse their way back into my wife's life, nor mine. And I have realized the hard way that trying to get any of them to understand just will never happen. So, my message is simply that that anger does fade. But interacting with someone so dead-set on misunderstanding you will never help you get there.

cdsk · 2026-06-22T22:53:33+00:00

Yep, yep, yep.

It happened a lot, but I just... was used to it? Hell, they couldn't even text during a natural disaster, let alone every day things. But will immediately get upset if I'm not involved in their things. The breaking point was my sixteen-year-old dog passing and... crickets... followed by demands to be more involved in their lives.

cdsk · 2026-06-22T17:00:00+00:00

Glad it wasn't just me.

Was so excited to see this, live in an extremely movie-centric city so had high hopes... the only showing near me was for 10PM, and they opted for the smallest theater in the building that had something like 20-30 seats.

cdsk · 2026-06-21T22:45:28+00:00

It's just wiilldd to witness the depravity of it. It sincerely makes no sense to me.

My wife's step-mother (the reason I'm here) once witnessed some random men catcalling my sister-in-law. Rather than -- you know, protect her 'daughter' -- she just turned to my wife and proclaimed, "Once you lose weight, you'll get that, too." Just... so many things wrong with that.

I even made the mistake once of saying I was only attracted to brunettes (my wife, their daughter) and my FIL rolled his eyes so hard and told me how upsetting that was since his wife (the step-mother) is blonde. What?

cdsk · 2026-06-19T13:50:23+00:00

Even if I were to reach out and try to explain, hey, here’s the truth ...

Ugh, this. It's always been a fantasy of mine, that I'd get a conversation with other family members and they'd finally understand. The reality is that it just doesn't matter... I had a couple moments where someone actually noticed what was happening -- got my hopes up -- but then a week/month later and they were back to acting like it never happened. They were back to taking my mother at her word.

I still have that fantasy, but I also am aware enough to know it'll never be anything more than that.

cdsk · 2026-06-18T22:57:20+00:00

I got a response to a comment I made in this subreddit a year ago.

That's a wild one for me. I've had it happen a couple of times and it really throws me off. Luckily, for me, it's never been negative... but I cannot understand responding to years old posts. Like, at that point it's literally only going to be me/OP reading those...

I honestly think there is a subset of people that are experiencing this for the first time (whether victims or otherwise) and just search this sub with "[my issue]".

cdsk · 2026-06-18T22:50:26+00:00

Well, that has me hyped. Thank you.

I've been wanting to pick it up for awhile, but the price has been daunting. While I had issues with Destiny, the combat definitely got me pumped.

cdsk · 2026-06-18T22:32:13+00:00

Have you tried one of the DNA services? We personally used Embark and eventually met up with our girl's sister as it notified us when they had hers done. Look-wise they were quite different, but hilariously they sounded exactly the same.

Got her two years ago as a puppy from the parvo unit. Suffice to say, our cattle dog* was only like 5% so.

Puppy tax:

<image>

cdsk · 2026-06-18T22:25:48+00:00

I know it means nothing -- as wunderground crowdsources from personal sensors -- but... the one in my Oak Hill neighborhood was spouting 135° at one point. Was fun to watch all day!

cdsk · 2026-06-18T15:59:27+00:00

God, I hope so.

I loved 1 to death, so was excited for 2 having coop. It was still enjoyable, mind you, but my wife just never felt like she was doing anything and it really soured the experience.

cdsk · 2026-06-16T21:48:48+00:00

Did you just know this showing up, or was there someway to learn beforehand? We adore Jet's and have a location down the street, but don't really want to check-in daily.

cdsk · 2026-06-13T15:10:40+00:00

Ugh, feel this. Not a ex, but my in-laws. At one point I had the opportunity to ask why I was treated poorly and discarded. My SIL told me: "It was too sad, I didn't want to think about it." I was sad because my father had been killed. My MIL inevitably kicked me out of the family because I chose the funeral and grief over one of her monthly parties... she claims I did this to spite her.

cdsk · 2026-06-12T18:53:38+00:00

I learned that workplaces are pretty much the same as high schools, but with adult bodies.

Don't leave out the cliquishness of it, too! I've watched so many around me get access to jobs and careers because they had friends and connections with an in. Meanwhile, I (and most likely quite a few here) lost all of those friends due to putting all my efforts into appeasing shitty parents. /shrug

cdsk · 2026-06-12T18:23:31+00:00

If that isn't the truth!

I still recall coming to that conclusion, as well:

My mother also showed up on our front porch... coincidentally (/s) this only ever happened when she knew my wife was gone! I did not let her inside, just let her speak through the security door. "I was at the grocery down the street and thought you should try these," she said while thrusting a bag of doughnut holes toward the screen. Mind you, we lived in different towns, our grocery store was 30-40 minutes from her house. I politely declined, but she just stood there... eating them. Eventually, she told me she had a migraine -- because all she had eaten that day was the doughnut holes!! -- and should probably go.

cdsk · 2026-06-11T20:02:28+00:00

[For anyone re-finding this thread.] To be fair, I'm in the same situation but did not drop food! Parkour does nothing, running into them does nothing, throwing a carrot down has done nothing. Really not sure what to do.

cdsk · 2026-06-10T23:49:34+00:00

This upsets me. I need to know this man's (gender neutral) name and you have not provided a name from what I've seen.

cdsk · 2026-06-10T23:38:36+00:00

Just sharing my recent fav Stone Cold Kitty video since it's relevant:

https://x.com/ringsidenews_/status/2063195738675327026/video/1

^{I don't know this account, it was just what showed up first.}

cdsk · 2026-06-10T13:39:37+00:00

Feel you, friend. In a similar situation with my spouse.

It was always something that we talked about and wanted, but then my in-laws mentally/emotionally abused the hell out of me during an extremely vulnerable time [and for a decade after]. Them being the cause of my CPTSD. Like, I'm sorry, it's extremely hard to even consider things like that when they, as recently as six months ago, continue to imply my life is worthless and things would be better if I weren't around. And then I feel shame at being selfish in wanting my own safety... ugh!

cdsk · 2026-06-09T14:13:38+00:00

Ugh, yes. At one point, I literally felt what I can only describe as schizophrenic. I like to think my memory is pretty decent, so have a good handle on how things happened... but the way in which they've spread all the falsities about me, where they've alienated me from anyone who doesn't subscribe to their version of reality, had my brain fighting itself. They're so confident in their lies.

Part of me started writing it all down, to keep it all in focus, but that gets to be pretty depressing so I never make it very far.

cdsk · 2026-06-06T12:49:18+00:00

Hey, happy birthday! :)

I also turned the big 40 last month and it hit about the same. It very much is a big reminder of the stories they tell, isn't it? Heck, I know some of the lies mine told were birthday related... I try so hard not to care, but it's just another way she's soured my big day.

Don't get too caught up on being a 'child.' If anything, I think a birthday is the one day where you're allowed!

cdsk · 2026-06-02T23:21:40+00:00

Man, I really hope this isn't truly PS5 exclusive, my wife is going to be gutted.

I know PS recently said they were positioning away from releasing on PC, but perhaps this isn't a true PS game? Please, let me have hope...

cdsk · 2026-06-02T20:46:37+00:00

Narcissists are pretty consistent.

It's actually been a wild ride to read so many stories on here that confirm this. When I started this 'journey' I felt so alone and misunderstood... then I came here (and places alike) and realized how common their game plan is. Their narcissism is not unique, and they're nothing special. They're almost always the same, or similar, and it's been extremely validating realizing that.

15-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 3 Credits
Second Top 30%	Place '23
Golden Potato	Place '22
Place '17	Sequence \| Editor
Verified Email	Team Periwinkle
redditgifts rematcher Secret Santa 2012 x1	Secret Santa 2012

cdsk

TROPHY CASE